Like Air Out Of A Balloon

...or like sands through the hour glass, so go the scams of our lives.

Something like that.

Nothing deflates a scammer faster than undermining their template with an unexpected reply.

Here's how easy it sometimes is:


NIGERIA NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION
NNPC Towers, Central Business District,
Herbert Macaulay Way,
P.M.B. 190, Garki, Abuja.www.nnpc.ng.org                                                
                                                    LETTER OF INQUIRY

Attention: Sir/Madam,

Sir, we wrote to inquire from you if you send Mr. Raymond Knorr who claimed to be your partner to our office, who has applied for the release of your contract funds to him.

Your contract fund that has been approved to be released to you is $29m (Twenty Nine Million United States dollars only) through the office of the accountant general of Nigerian National Petroleum Cooperation (NNPC) upon the receipt of the signed contract award documents as required by the law.

 His account details are stated below:

ACCOUNT NAME: ....................Mr. Raymond Knorr
ACCOUNT NUMBER: ................32231768
SORT CODE:................................. 601939
IBAN:.......................................... GB45NWBK60193932231768
SWIFT CODE: ............................BICNWBKGB2L
BANK NAME: .............................NATWEST BANK.
BANK ADDRESS: .......................69 BROADWAY SOUTHALL, MIDDLESEX UB1 LD.

You are urgently required to respond to this message within twelve hours so that we will proceed in preparing and handing him over your documents or get him arrested if he is an impostor.

Your urgent attention is required.

Yours faithfully,
Engr. Issah Ahmed  


My character decides the best response is...well, this one:


Yes, Mr. Raymond Knorr is authorized to take charge of this fund.   Anything else?  


That was not the response the scammer expected.  Thus thrown off his template, his confused response:

 
Can you send us an authorization letter regarding that for official effect?  


Indeed I can:

To:     NIGERIA NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION
           NNPC Towers, Central Business District,
           Herbert Macaulay Way,
           P.M.B. 190, Garki, Abuja.
                                                
From:     Jack N. Ewehoff, Esq.

Subj:       LETTER OF CERTIFICATION

Attention: Sir/Madam,

As requested, I am hereby responding with a letter of certification that hereby authorizes the following person -- Mr. Raymond Knorr -- as designated recipient of  $29m (Twenty Nine Million United States dollars only) through the office of the accountant general of Nigerian National Petroleum Cooperation (NNPC) upon the receipt of the signed contract award documents as required by the law.

 His account details are stated below:

ACCOUNT NAME: ....................Mr. Raymond Knorr
ACCOUNT NUMBER: ................32231768
SORT CODE:................................. 601939
IBAN:.......................................... GB45NWBK60193932231768
SWIFT CODE: ............................BICNWBKGB2L
BANK NAME: .............................NATWEST BANK.
BANK ADDRESS: .......................69 BROADWAY SOUTHALL, MIDDLESEX UB1 LD.

You are hereby authorized to release the aforementioned funds to Mr. Raymond Knorr without further delay.  

 

 

This is not at all the response the scammer anticipated:

 

 

Are you sure?  

 

 

Absolutely sure.  100% sure.  Positive beyond all doubt sure.  

 

 

this is most unexpected  

 

 

I can tell.  For him too probably.

 

 

are you sure this is how you go?  

 

 

In this matter, yes, I am sure this how I go.  In other matters, it depends on how you mean "go".  

 

 

That ended the correspondence between us but not, I'm sure, the deflation that accompanied the Scams of Our Lives....