Out Of Work Demon And Scams

Lately, my scambaiting character's email account is inundated with emails from 'agents' allegedly at an international airport in Georgia, claiming they have a trunk belonging to my character.

Three emails from three different scammers alone in a week.

Let's settle with this one that drew immediate amusement from my pet rock, Seymour:

I am Amado Baltazar. I immigrated to the US 2years ago from the Philippines. I work with the Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport storage facility in Georgia as a junior staff. During my routine check, I discovered an abandoned trunk box left by a delivery agent traveling from Mexico but the agent left the box after his diplomatic immunity expired due to some questions and delays of the delivery. The package was brought here in the storage facility and has since been abandoned by the agent.

On further scrutiny, I found that the consignments was declared as personal effect and classified documents while in actual fact contains raw cash of US currency notes in $100 denominations carefully packed and stashed in a trunk box approximately $1.1m in cash. This was revealed by the electronic scan done on the package. The box contains money supposedly from the Mexican drug cartel but was abandoned by the diplomatic agent during questioning.

I need you to accept the package for delivery to your address and your financial support to move the package. As an insider, I will ensure to perfect the paper work for the release of the package to your address and this will be done to protect your interest. All I need from you is to accept to receive the package by providing required details and when it is received, we will share it 50/50. Please send details required below:

Your full name:

Package receiving address:

Mobile number:

Any valuable ID:

I am doing it to be able to raise money for care of my sick adoptive mother who was diagnosed of stage 3 acute lymphocytic leukemia in the Philippines. I have been the one taking care of her medical bills but I have since ran out of money and she needs money for her care. Meanwhile, it is clear as I have observed that the owner will not come for the box since it is suspected to be money from the Mexican drug cartel.

The requested information will be used to process the release of the package and a different delivery agent will be paid to pick up the item for delivery to your designated address. When the package is received, please promise me that you will make sure that you will comply with the 50/50 sharing split.

I look forward to your reply as soon as you receive this e-mail.

Amado Baltazar  

 

 

I heard, almost immediately, the recognition *TOING* my pet rock had when seeing the last name of the scammer:  Baltazar.

 

My pet rock saw a few episodes of a TV show from the 90s -- Charmed -- and he knew then and there that an edit simply had to go there:

 

 

From: Baltazar <test@andrevillemont.com>
Sent: Friday, September 6, 2019 10:32 PM
To: jacksonAndHerHole01@hotmail.com
Subject: Re-route Television Has-Beens To Something....ANYTHING

 

I am Baltazar. I was a sublevel demon on a cancelled TV show in the 90s, and have been looking for something...ANYTHING to do since.  I already tried immigrating to the US 2 years ago from the Philippines as a mail-order demon, but got banished by Hellary Rodehard Clinton during her "Blame Everyone But Herself" whine fest tour. I didn't know there was a broom out there that could carry an ass that big.

Eh...doesn't pay to deal with witches, real or imagined.  Especially mental midget ones like Alyssa Milano.

For the time being, I work with the Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport facility in Georgia as a luggage loser Level 1. Like one-half a pair of socks being lost in the laundry, how airlines lose luggage is easier than you think, especially with me involved.  Before I digress further, during my routine check-up of my fireball-throwing prostate, I discovered an abandoned trunk box left by a delivery agent traveling from Central America in a migration paid for by that human sharpai, George Soros.  He's currently hung up in Mexico trying to explain how he's really Azerbaijani that they sent to Botswanto, but that furthers the digression.  At any rate, the package was brought here  after being marked to go to Newark and no one with the airline but me knows how that happened.

 

On further scrutiny, I found that the piece of luggage belongs to Barry Barack Soetero/Obola and was tagged as stuff stolen from the White House when he left while in actual fact it contains all those files he spent millions concealing from release to show he's a native of Uranus where artificial turkey insemination is all the rage.  This was revealed by an email from Hellary's home server that Wikileaks obtained from the Chinese and just about anyone else with a computer in this part of the Solar System.   The box also contains a list of every democrap ever to visit that Epstein buffoon's pedophile island...and a life-size sex toy inflatable yak, but was abandoned by a DNC staffer during questioning.

I need you to buy this email and try to talk the airline into accepting that this piece of luggage I deliberately lost actually belongs to you or someone that looks like you.  As an insider, and a former sublevel demon to boot, I will ensure that nothing good comes of it, but you'll get to feel good about yourself until it arrives.  All I need from you is the same level of door-knob intellect that Alyssa shows with every public statement she makes about pretty much anything political.

I can't believe I dated that dunce.  Big boobs though.

Anyway, to get this shenanigan off the ground please send details required below:

Your full name:

Luggage receiving address:

Mobile number:

Any valuable ID:

I am doing it to be able to raise money to allow me to retool my career and become a fake news purveyor on cnn.  I have all that is necessary to make this happen except I don't suck as bad as most of the current employees at cnn, but I'm working on getting there.  Meanwhile, it is clear as I have observed conditions in the streets of San Crapcisco that I can't stay there...the feces, drug needles, trash and rats are making it worse than Newark.  Get lost once in Newark at night, and even a sublevel former TV demon can't cope long there.  

 

The requested information will be used to sell on the dark web to destroy your life, liberty and your pursuit of life-size sex toy inflatable yaks, which are prized at the DNC these days.  When the luggage arrives at your place, I'll be about the only demon not surprised, as I tagged it to go to Cleveland.

 

I look forward to your or anyone's reply as soon as you or anyone hacking your email receive this and well understand the contents.

Baltazar  

 

 

Seymour drew no reply from the originating scammer.  Nor is he expecting one from the out-of-spells dunce with big boobs.

 

He is a bit worried about a demon suddenly appearing and throwing a fireball at him, though.

 

"Am NOT!!!  PHFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!"