It's Everywhere You Don't Want To Be

Relax...Eyegor won't get this brain switch done correctly, either.

I do give this scammer a minutiae of credit for attempting to sound marginally official:

Bank of America Financial Center 

Metro Center Station 700 13th St NW, 

Washington, DC 20005, United States

Office of Ms. Christine P. Katziff

Corporate General Auditor (BOA)

Wire Transfer & Audit Department

Direct Tell: +12024555966

Attention:,

I am Ms. Christine P. Katziff, Corporate General Auditor, Bank of America. Be informed of the arrival and availability of your long awaiting inheritance fund Part Payment value, ($7, 000,000.00) only as received. This occurred on the march 21st 2018, through great effort by the USA Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC). But our Bank Board of Directors, refused to get you informed for reasons best known to them, which I believe, must be selfish interest. 

I made my research in our Bank database and confirmed I can wire the fund to your choice of Bank account and have the wire tracer wiped out from the system, where the fund wire transfer cannot be traced to your Bank account by any Financial Authority.  

Therefore, I urge you to trust my skill and assure me the absolute confidentiality of this information, and I will have your fund wired via the fastest method of wire transfer, (MT202 Cov), If you agree or can trust my skill on this matter, reconfirm your details as listed bellow, and I will transfer your fund as you will confirm it in your Bank account same day.

If you have any doubt or negative thought about this, please, don't bother to reply this message, I cannot persuade you, I am only here to exercise my hatred on cheating and cheaters, using my perfect professional skill. 

Be assured of a successful completion of this deal upon adhering to my directives by acting at the right time where necessary. 

No INTERFERENCE from the Government or any Financial Authorities, no one will have the right to intervene on the transaction following my perfect plans to make it happen. 

Reconfirm the following details to enable us commence on the process immediately.

Your Full Names: 

Your Current Home Address: 

Your Direct Cell:

Your Current Occupation:

Bank Names: 

Bank Address:

Bank Account No:

Bank Account Names:

Swift No:

Routing No:

Christine P. Katziff  

Corporate General Auditor  

 

 

Yes, she at least sorta tried to sound marginally official.

 

That ended with the edit:

 

 

From: ChristineP.Katsniff:@Bankofamerica.com <andmmorris445@gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, May 13, 2019 11:46 AM
Subject: Your Porn Audition Confirm or Call Me: +12024555966

 

Bank of Fawg Financial Center 

Metro Center Station 700 13th St NW, 

Washington, DC 20005, United States

Office of Ms. Christine P. Katsniff

Corpulent Genital Auditioner (BOF)

Direct Tell: +12024555966

Attention:,

I am Ms. Christine P. Katsniff, Corpulent Genital Auditioner, Bank of Fawg. Be informed of the arrival and availability of your long awaited porn audition with Stormdrain Daniels on the about-to-be-cancelled cnn show Kowballa's Got Genital Warts. This occurred for a one week premiere on April 1 2019, through great effort by friends of Alyssa Milano's sex strike, Ruth Bader Ginsboig. But people and inanimate objects planning to run for president as democraps refused to get you informed for reasons best known to them, which I believe, must be selfish interest. 

I made my research in our Bank database and confirmed I can get you an audition to star with Stormdrain Daniels in From Russia With Sexual Inflatables, anticipated to be off Broadway next year and before the House Injudiciary Crimemittee next week, if Jerry Nadler can get his hallucinogens prescription adjusted to make that Cortez broad a little easier to listen to.  

 

Therefore, I urge you to trust my total lack of skill and inarticulate vaginal stuttering while assuring me the absolute confidentiality of this information not making it into the Mueller Report as an unredacted add-in.  If you agree or can trust me on this, I guarantee you'll never know what violated your sock puppet collection until it's over.

 

If you have any doubt or negative thought about this, please, explain in 500 words or less in English, French, Klingon or Uranusian, why you don't wish have sprechens with me about your audition.  If given the chance and proper drugs, I can persuade you; I am loosely related to Tania the Lotus Eater, the same one that briefly mastered Chief Inspector Clouseau in his last movie before he vaporlocked, allowing Chief Inspector Dreyfuss a release from the frog mental hospital.   

Be assured of a successful completion of your audition with Stormdrain Daniels and a host of celebrity inflatables by acting at the right time where necessary. 

No INTERFERENCE from the Film Actor's Guild or Arec Barrdwin will befall you.  I think. 

Reconfirm the following details to enable us commence on the process immediately.

Your Full Names: 

Your Current Home Address: 

Your Direct Cell:

Your Current Occupation:

Christine P. Katsniff  

Corpulent Genital Auditioner  

 

 

My pet rock, Seymour, is convinced I scared off the scammer with an edit mentioning Tania the Lotus Eater.

 

It didn't seem to bother the late Chief Inspector Clouseau...