From The Bayford Files

Scammers crack me up.  Especially when they mix up real life with their scam, and make a total muddle of it.

The Adrian and Gilliam Bayford scam has been around for a while; a couple that allegedly won Powerball, and were now "giving away" money to randomly-chosen recipients.

For a fee, of course.  *BUZZZER*

But now, my character gets a scam from...wait for it...waiiiiiiit for it:


Dear Sir,

I am interested in establishing and operating a very viable business as a means of investment. I did not know well on how this will be done in your country, so I will need you to help me in this regard.

My preference is any good profit yielding business and I would appreciate any viable ideas you could come up with. I will also need you to help me look for properties like house and lands for sale as I am proposing to invest a substantial amount of money that accrued to me as a result of my position in my establishment. The modalities for the successful relocation of the financial asset have been clearly worked and details shall be given to you upon the receipt of your response. I do not know if you can and will be of help to me.

For a brief on my personality;

My need for this business proposition and to acquire these properties is very urgent as I am planning to retire from my position as the Vice Chairman of Gulf Investment Council in the European Union region. As a business inclined man, I want you to come up with your individual business/ investment ideas as I will welcome it from the bottom of my heart. I also hope to meet with you in Africa, Asia or Europe during the course of our investment deliberations to fine tune our investment plans. Do get back to me for more details if you are Interested in working with me on the noble project.

Please I expect your good and prompt reply so that we can proceed swiftly on how the fund can be sent to you.

Looking forward for your urgent response.

Best Regards,
Mr. Gillian Adrian Bayford  


Nice changing around of the name...and the scam.


Once again...*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*...epic *FAIL*.  Especially when edited:


From: Mrs. Gillian Adrian Bayford, <mr.gillian.adbayfod@gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, May 9, 2019 12:40 AM
Subject: Looking askance at your peculiar respond

 

Dear Gender Neutral Non-Binary Being,

I am interested in establishing and operating a very shoddy, chicanerous business as a means of committing fiscal incest in a manure of speaking.  I have done this everywhere I've tried, but I confess that I did not know well on how this will be done in your country until I spoke to democraps who are well versed on how to commit chicanery on a number of levels.  Of course, they didn't want any evidence pointed directly at them, so they gave me your name and thus I will need you to help me in this regard.

My preference is any business involving inflatable sex toys that look like Hellary Clinton, Bela Pelosi, Maxipad Waters and other Helen-Thomas-lookalikes in the DNC there.  Yoda would have been at home with such looks; not so much with their stunning lacks of intellect and integrity, but eh...what does a green 900 year old sock puppet know about that kinda stuff?  I would appreciate any viable ideas you could come up with as long as it evolves around inflatable sex toys that resemble the aforementioned. I will also need you to help me look for properties in places where asylum can be established once the authorities figure out what the f**k is going on with this scheme of mine...which of course they'll trace to you, because that's how the democraps told me to rig it.  The modalities for how to totally clusterf**k this operation have been clearly worked and the sordid and perverse details shall be given to you upon the receipt of your response.

I do not know if you are possessed of a single-digit IQ like that Cortez broad from NYC, but if you are, that can and will be of help to me.

For a brief on my exceptionally peculiar personality:

My need for violating virgin knot holes is very urgent as I am planning to retire from my position as the Vice Chairman of the fly-infested internet cafe where I am in charge of coming up with the templates used to dupe the rest of the world, especially in the European Union region as well as Newark. As a gender neutral non-binary being inclining toward octosexual orthopodism, I want for much in the way of self-gratification part of life.  I will welcome it from the bottom of my re-organized and re-structured gender neutral genitals. I also hope to meet with you in Africa, Asia or in the massage parlor in the basement of the Democrap National Committee in DC, to fine tune our efforts to come up with a new dossier that implicates Trump in collusion with Uranus 36 years ago to steal Hellary's virginity using cattle futures at the Rose Law Firm that committed suicide after Wikileaks found her hacked emails mixed with Bill the Cat's hairballs in a lock box owned by CNN.

Trusting that you've not read this too closely, do get back to me for more details if you are Interested in working with me on this a wholly unsavory project.

Please I expect your good and prompt reply so that I can let the democraps know that I found a sucker for this schtick of theirs.

Looking forward for your ignorance-based response.

Best Regards,
Mrs. Gillian Adrian Bayford

soon to become gender unassumable with some assembly required  

 

 

The scammer didn't get back to my character, so I think I can assume that he/she/it isn't looking so forward to working with my character on much of anything.