A Reason To Not

There's a reason for everything, I do believe I once read or was taught at sometime in my past.

So when I get an email from the bowels of Scamland, entitled "Reason with me", it suggests to me I'll need to read it to reason out what's in it.

I...or rather my character...did, for reasons that will soon become apparent...of another bad email reply.

The reason for the bad email reply is this email from a dude named Lim Kean, with the title mentioned above, and a short dissertation about 2010, dead clients, inactive accounts and the reason that Scamland exists.

Here's Kean's reasoning, as it were:


I am Lim Kean, I solicit your consent to stand as a next of kin to my late foreign client who bears the same  last name with you and he was into Oil and Gas contract then. On the 10th of August 2010, my client, his wife  and their only daughter were involved in a car crash and lost their lives. Please contact me for details in  respect to the claim of his valued Fund left in our bank before it gets confiscated by the bank.   I intend to offer you 40% of the total funds for your assistance. If you accept this offer, urgently get back  to me for more information please.

 So my character reasons that some response is reasonably possible with reasoning that only my character and a pet rock known for no particular reason could have reasoned out...sort of: 

 Having read your reason for requesting me to reason with you, I find your reasoning for the request peculiar. To ...reason with someone suggests reasoning with reason, and thereby with reasonableness at the core of the reason to reason with reasonableness.

Your suggestion of me reasoning to reason with you over the thing that you seek to reason over is unreasonably devoid of reason and reasonableness. You can attempt to explain it in a reasonable manure, or you can reason that your request is not as reasonable as you reasoned it to be. I have found, after thorough reasoning on the reasons pro, con and fence-sitting neutrality, a lack of reasons suggestive to me that place your offer to give me the business and the reasons therein, a reason to consider it as something to be reasoned with.

You asked me to reason with you. This is that reasoning. I have reason to believe this is sufficient reason to reason that the reason you wrote has been reasonable answered in a manure that you should be able to reasonably conclude from. Do you reasonably agree?

My choice of reasoning did not appear to fit the request as placed by Mr. Kean, and I can reason that by his lack of any follow up reply. 

On the other hand, my pet rock sez that this is reason enough to reason that I'm a sh*t...