Monday, November 26, 2018

Not So Mahvellous In Scam Land

He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.  And even more quacked up than before.

I give you...Barrister Marvellous Duke, SAN.

At least, so says he.  And he proves it with this wonderfully photo shopped passport.

His angle isn't any better than before:


TEMPLE CHAMBERS $ ASSOCIATES
(LEGAL PRACTITIONER)
No: 85, Western Avenue,
Surulere, Lagos.
Email " barristermarvellous200@gmail.com
CALL : +234- 8024627935

    PLEASE AND KINDLY RESPOND TO THIS MY PRIVATE EMAIL (  barristermarvellous200@gmail.com  ).

   
     Dear Friend,
 
        It is obvious that this proposal will come to you as a surprise; this is because we have not met before but I am inspired to sending you this email following the huge fund transfer opportunity that will be of mutual benefit to both of us. However, I am Barrister Marvellous Duke, SAN, Attorney to the late Engr.Ronald Johnson a national of Northern American, who used to work with Shell Petroleum Development Company (SPDC) in Nigeria On the 11th of November, 2002. My client, his wife and their three children were involved in a car accident along Sagamu/Lagos Express Road.
 
      Unfortunately they all lost their lives in the event of the accident, since then I have made several inquiries to several Embassies to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his relatives over the Internet to locate any member of his family but of no avail, hence I contacted you.
 
       I contacted you to assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client; I can easily convince the bank with my legal practice that you are the only surviving relation of my client. Otherwise the Estate he left behind will be confiscated or declared  not serviceable by the bank where these huge deposits were  lodged.
 
       Particularly, the Bank where the deceased had an account valued at about $15 million U.S dollars (Fifteen million U.S. America dollars).Consequently, The bank issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next ten official working days.
Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over several  years now.
 
     I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased, so that the proceeds of this account valued at $15million U.S dollars can be paid to your account and then you and I can share the money, 50% to me and 50% to you.
 
All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through and also forward the following to me:
 
1, Your Full Name:.......
2, Your House Address:.......
3, Your Country:............  State:,,,,,
4, Your Contact Telephone ......
5, Your Age:,,,,,, and Gender:....
6, Your Occupation: ..........
7. Your Marital Status,,,,,,,
 
     I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
Please get in touch with me VIA this my confidential email ( barristermarvellous200@gmail.com )
 
Yours Faithfully,

BARRISTER MARVELOUS DUKE, SAN.  
 
 
Having been already down this road once, my character thought that this reply would nix the deal:
 
 
Still pushing the same quack there, Bannister Duck? 
 
 
The bannister is in that mode where what I write doesn't seem to matter; that I responded at all is the only thing that counts:
 
 
PLEASE AND QUICKLY FILL THE BELOW GAPS, WITH YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION, AND RETURN BACK TO ME.
 
 
 1, Your  Full Name:.......
2, Your  House Address:.......
3, Your  Country:............
4, Your  State:........
5,  Your Contact Telephone ......
6,  Your Age:.........     and  Gender:....
7,   Your Occupation: ..........
8.  Your Marital Status..........
 


             Dear  Beneficiary:,   Jack Ewehoff.
               I  firstly thank you for having time, out of none, to respond back to my proposal letter, sent to you but   without   your personal information, therein, as requested from you, to fully, legally and officially indicate your kin interest as the chosen and presented next of kin to the fund of $15M US Dollars, Late depositor, "LATE ENGINEER RONALD JOHNSON" and rightful beneficiary to the fund, in question, respectively.
       

    MORE DETAILS, OF THIS PROPOSAL LETTER, I SENT TO YOU.
========================================================

          After the sudden and unfortunate  death of this fund depositor,  as my client, "'LATE ENGINEER RONALD JOHNSON'" , on 11th November, 2002, presicely, here in Nigeria, but he was a nationality of 'NORTHERN AMERICA', The management of WEMA BANK PLC, HEAD OFFICE, NIGERIA, assigned me as his family lawyer, to search deligently for any of his remaining relatives to have this fund claimed for the rest of the family but after many years of searching but all in vain, I decided to contact you, to stand for me, as the search out relative to work with me and have this fund claimed and transferred into your account, for both of us to share on the 50 50 percentages, that is all, my good friend.

         
          SUBMISSION OF YOUR APPLICATION TO THE MANAGEMENT OF WEMA BANK PLC, HEAD OFFICE, LAGOS, NIGERIA, IMMEDIATELY YOU RESPOND  BACK TO THIS CORRESPONDENCE, AS EXPECTED.
==================================================================

                 This transaction, as an "INTERNATIONAL ONE", with protocols, laws, rules and regulations, to be observed, as listed below and both of us have to follow the protocols, up, accordingly,  to enable us have this great expectation, achieved to become people  of substances and virtues, in our families and  societies at large, that is if both of us can believe in each other, understand ourselves, show willingness and maximum co-operation, then sky becomes our starting point, of our tremendous, wealth, success, progress and favor, to the glory of almighty God but I don"t know how to put it and  to convince you that this transaction is never, a scam, dubious, hoax, pranks but real, genuine, authentic, legal and official, as being signed and approved by the "FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE, ABUJA, NIGERIA, IN COLLABORATION WITH WEMA BANK PLC, HEAD OFFICE, LAGOS, NIGERIA", respectively.

         Therefore, your seriousness, willingness, commitment, focus and maximum co-operation with me, will trigger, encourage and ginger me to quickly have your application submitted to the management of the above mentioned bank, for the legal and official continuity of this transaction with you, successfully and respectively, according to their banking laws, rules and regulations, immediately you urgently respond back to me, as expected and advised.
     
.
       PROCURING AND OBTAINING OF ALL THE DOCUMENTS TO BACK YOUR CLAIM OF THIS FUND, UP, LEGALLY AND OFFICIALLY, AS GOING TO BE REQUESTED FROM YOU, BY WEMA BANK PLC, HEAD OFFICE, LAGOS, NIGERIA.
==================================================================================

           At this juncture,  With my profession, prestige and personality, in my great country, Nigeria, I must surely procure all the bank"s requested documents from you, to back your claim of this fund up, legally and officially, according to their banking systems, laws, rules and regulations, which I will procure and send to you, then after you have gone through them, you quickly through your email, submit to the management of WEMA BANK PLC, HEAD OFFICE, LAGOS, NIGERIA, successfully and respectively.     

     FUND SHARING ACCORDING TO 50 50, EQUAL PERCENTAGES, TO AVOID BEING CHEATED ON EACH  OTHER.
=================================================================================

             This fund of $15m USD, must be shared on the 50 50 percentages to each other, to avoid each partner being cheated in the end and to crown it all, it is a risk free transaction, as there are enough documents, to back your claim of it legally, genuinely and officially.  

 
 
                 I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law of your country, successfully and respectively.

       Thank"s, while   I wait hearing from you, urgently and as expected so that I will be sure that this email  has reached you in good faith.

Yours Faithfully,

BARRISTER MARVELOUS DUKE, SAN.  
 
 
Unlike his opening email, the Bannister has suddenly developed an absolute love affair with commas.  Eh...no matter, as my character ducks into edit mode:
 
 
From: BANNISTER MARVELLOUS DUCK, QUACK <barristermarvellous1000@mail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2018 9:18 PM
To: horkster99@hotmail.com
Subject: CODE: 00432; PLEASE VIEW MY PHOTOGRAPH AND TRY NOT TO LAUGH; BANNISTER MARVELLOUS DUCK, QUACK
 
TOILET CHAMBERS & ASSES
(ILLEGAL PRACTITIONER SINCE NOT LONG AGO)
No: 85, Western Avenue,
Surulere, Lagos.
Email " barristermarvellous1000@mail.com
CALL : +234- 8024627935
 
       PLEASE AND QUICKLY FILL THE BELOW GAPS, BEFORE THIS EMAIL IMPLODES, AND RETURN BACK TO ME.
 
 
 1, Your  Full Name:.......
2, Your  House Address:.......

3, Your  Country:............  

4, Your  State:........

5,  Your Contact Telephone ......

6,  Your Age:.........     and  Gender:....

7,   Your Occupation: ..........

8.  Your Marital Status..........
 


             YO:

               I  firstly thank you for having time, out of none, to respond back to my letter sent to you but   without   your personal information, therein, as requested from you, to fully, legally and officially indicate your kin interest as the chosen and presented next of kin to the fund of $15M US Dollars, Late depositor, "LATE ENGINEER RONALD JOHNSON" and rightful beneficiary to the fund, in question, respectively.
              I secondly thank you for not commenting on my overuse of commas throughout this documentary piece of shit, and ask if you has a surplus punctuationary checker I can has.  Mebbe a spell and grammar checker too.  Ah needs all the hep ah kin git h'yar.
       

    MORE DETAILS TO YOU.
========================================================

          After the sudden and unfortunate  death of a goat inseminator who was my one and only client, "'LATE GOAT INSEMINATOR RONALD JOHNSON'" , on 11th November, 2017, presicely, here in Nigeria, but he was a nationality of 'NORTHERN BUCOHLIC', a province somewhere that is not yet properly mapped, but since he's deader than a can of corned beef, who the f**k cares.  The management of WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK BANK PLC, HEAD OFFICE, NIGERIA -- where the lion sleeps tonight -- assigned me as his lawyer, since my stint as an online psychic extra large came a crapper.  It then became my one and only job to search for any of his remaining relatives to see if any of them are goat inseminators, too.  But after a few hours of searching all in vain, I decided to contact you; your email address is conveniently carved into the tree we all go behind as our outdoor outhouse here.

 
        
          SUBMISSION TO THE MANAGEMENT OF WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK BANK PLC, HEAD-UP-ASS OFFICE, LAGOS, NIGERIA, AS EXPECTED.
==================================================================

                 This transaction is an "INTERNATIONAL ONE" with protocols, laws, rules and regulations to be studiously disregarded, as listed below.  One of us -- take a guess which one -- have to follow the protocols up  to enable one of us -- again, guess which one -- to have this great expectation achieved to become a person of dubious antecedence and goat genitals, in our society at large;  that is if one of us -- me -- can believe in the other -- you.  Once that is firmly established -- that you are a bigger moron than me -- then sky becomes our starting point of tremendous wealth, success, progress and favor for me, to the glory of an almighty goat baphomet to which I have regularly sacrificed photos of Hellary Clinton on a broom and thinking that she's president of something, somewhere.  But I don"t know how to put it and  to convince you that this transaction is never a scam, not dubious, not a hoax, nor a prank -- even though it clearly is.  No, the handlers here at the fly-infested internet cafe from which I send out crap like this expects me to make you believes that this is real, genuine, authentic, legal and official, as being signed and approved by the "FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE, ABUJA, NIGERIA, IN COLLABORATION WITH WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK BANK PLC, HEAD OFFICE, LAGOS, NIGERIA", respectively.  Where the lion sleeps tonight.

         Therefore, your ignorance, gullibility, fecklessness, lack of focus and maximum co-operation with me, will trigger a liberal snowflake to foul themselves repeatedly, but I digress.  I now back away from digression and move on.arg to the next phase of the British plan.
     
.

       PROCURING AND OBTAINING OF ALL THE DOCUMENTS TO BACK UP OUR CLAIM THAT I WAS MOLESTED BY A SUPREME COURT JUSTICE 36 YEARS AGO AT A EWE CONVENT THAT HAD BEEN INVADED BY A THREE PECKERED GOAT.
==================================================================================

           At this juncture,  with my perverse prestige and personality, in my dilapidated country, Nigeria, I have procure all the requested documents from Dianne Frankenfeinstein, to back this claim of this molestation, illegally and unofficially, according to the complete lack of ethics and integrity which is the trade mark of the Democrap Party in the USA, which I will procure and send to cnn, a completely discredited and useless network, which you are to submit to the management of WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK A WEMA WECK BANK PLC, HEAD OFFICE, LAGOS, NIGERIA, successfully and respectively, while the lion sleeps tonight.     

     FUNGUS AMONGUS AND OTHER BAD BAR JOKES TO AVOID YOU CHEATED ON ME.
=================================================================================

             This means there can be no jokes like ... a mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink; the bartender says "we don't serve mushrooms", to which the mushroom says, "but hey, I'm a real fungi!" ... told.  This isn't so much to avoid each partner being cheated in the end to crown it all -- I am already designated the cheater, and you the cheatee -- but this is to subter the fuge and mask the factoid that this is not a risk free transaction, as you bear 100% of the risk, and that there are not one document to back the claims of molestation by a Supreme Court justice 36 years ago at a ewe convent that had been invaded by a three peckered goat, since even cnn can't sell that one to Alyssa Milano, gullible though she is.  
 
 
                 I guarantee that this would be executed thoroughly and utterly if we were doing this in North Korea; Kim Jong Un is well practiced in executing things as we all know.

                 Having seen that this email  has reached you in bad faith, I am off to have sex with an inflatable Bela Pelosi sex toy...I am just drunk enough to be able to do that.

I have the horror to be,
BANNISTER MARVELOUS DUCK, QUACK  
 
 
I was somewhat amused to see that the bannister managed to read this one, and actually replied:
 
 
this not helping 
 
 
Oh, but I think it is, Bannister.  Quack.   
 
I think it helped immensely, in that the bannister chose no more to repartee with my character.
 
Quack.
  

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

This not helping. Well that's your point.

Have a fabulous day, Mike. My best to Seymour and Element. 😎

26 November, 2018 08:54  

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