Things Ain't Any Better In Darfur

Yep...from the email my character received, things are definitely no better in Darfur, even after George The Looney Clooney's charity efforts went phfffft there.

His having headlined Kathy "Wife of Tales of the Crypt Keeper" Griffin was probably no help.

Be that as it was, is and will continue to be, Mrs. Aisha Karim makes the latest effort to give my character the business from the Sudan .. or the backseat of a Greyhound bus:


From: Mrs. Aisha Karim
Darfur, Sudan

Good-Day!  My name is Mrs. Aisha Karim from the Republic of Sudan; I know this will be a surprise to you. I got your contact through search on line from Sudanese Information Exchange (SIE) I am the wife of Mr. Usman Karim from Darfur, Sudan. My husband was the owner of Omar Sea Food Industry & Omar Farm Land in Darfur Region. When the Government discovered that Darfur region is rich on Oil and Mineral Resources, and the Organization Rebel Movement stepped into Darfur to occupied those areas oil was discovered and those areas happens to be my husband's landed properties.

Government and the Rebels started fighting over who will inherit the Darfur Region because of the Oil discovered. It was unfortunate that my husband was killed on the process by the Rebels in order to inherit the land and all my husband's companies were burnt down. Before then my husband had moved US$25 Million United States Dollars to South Africa for establishment of another branch of his companies. The fund was deposited in a private security & finance company in the name of my elder son Mr. Ahmed Karim as the beneficiary. Upon his return from South Africa he was murdered in cold blood by the Rebel Movement.

Now, the Rebel Movement turned against the remaining family member of my husband and I ordered my son to leave immediately for South Africa to meet with my family Attorney who assisted my (late) husband when the funds were deposited and he left without any delay for Johannesburg, South Africa, I am currently in Darfur Sudan because I am old and cannot go anywhere. Would you be interested to assist my son in moving this money out from South Africa since his status as asylum seeker (Refugee) does not allow the transfer of the funds in his name, the family will offer you 20% of the total amount, 5% will be mapped out to balance any expenses incurred, while 75% will be for my family and will be invested in your country under your management. This is very urgent especially now Sudan is divided.

Due to my ill-health and age, I would suggest you to please contact my son in Johannesburg, South Africa on the below stated Telephone Number and Email Address for details and procedure.

Please Contact My Son:

Mr. Ahmed Karim
Tel: + 27 78 130 5352
Email: karimfamily2017@yahoo.com

Thanking you for your anticipated co-operation in advance.

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Aisha Karim  


I tried to lead my pet rock, Seymour, in a rousing "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww", but all I got from him was an elongated PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.

Which, when I got to thinking about it, worked out well in the edit:

From: Mrs. Aisha Karim
Darfur, Sudan

Saying "PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT"

Good-Day PHFFFFFFFFFTshine!

Good-Day PHFFFFFFFFFTshine!

Good-Day PHFFFFFFFFFTshine!

I like to phfffffft

when the need is there

really muck up

the local air...

The Beatles did not endorse this message, though the dead ones didn't get to vote on it while the democraps will allow them to vote in US national elections.

My name is Mrs. Aisha Karim from the Republic of Sudan; I know this will be a surprise to you.  Darfur is a totally trashed place, even after all the benefit concerts by pompous Hollywad types that didn't do squat for Darfur, any more than Beaver did for Fassberg, besides sending them a Schmoo.

I got your contact through search on line from what's left of the Sudanese Information Exchange (SIE).  Somali pirates and a roving band of pilates-performing baboons did the place little good.

According to this here template I'm reading from, I am supposed to be the wife of Mr. Usman Karim from Darfur, Sudan. My husband was the owner of Fast Achmed's New & Used Camel Emporium in Darfur Region. When warring factions in the Sudan, the Somali pirates, the democraps on the Senate Injudiciary Committee and South Park got done with the place, Darfur was almost as bad off as Kathy Griffin's imitation of the Tales of the Crypt Keeper, dancing topless in front of her living room window.

All the aforementioned warring factions came to a screeching halt and fled in disarray and terror, along with Griffin's neighbors; they thought the Tales of the Crypt Keeper was retired and not topless.

CNN, MS13NBC and Maxipad Waters started fighting over who will inherit the Darfur Impeachment movement because of a typo on one of Waters' cue cards. It was unfortunate that my husband was killed in the process when a lowly college professor of dubious antecedence and worse memory accused him of having raped her by asking for her phone number 36 years prior at a frat party at some whiny league school that no one cared about until my husband was put on a short list of possible Burrito Supreme Court nominees by the current US POTUS.  Small wonder that CNN has the lowest ratings ever among denizens of Darfur, most of the USA and parts of Uranus.  Morons like Don Lemon help them not.

Before Stormy Daniels could apply for reconstituted virginhood at a ewe convent that had been upended by a three-peckered goat, her sleazy porn atturkey had moved a number of USD to avoid having to pay taxes on it so he could be equal with Al Sharpton when he ruins for POTUS in 2020.  The fund was accumulated from rake-offs from his client's pole-dancing performances after the DNC discovered her and got the blessing of the defrocked witch, Alyssa Milano, who hasn't had anything constructive to do before, during and since the 1980s.

That's not to mention the fate of my elder son, Mr. Ahmed Karim, who "committed suicide" after coming into possession emails from Hellary's server via Chinese hackers, MI-Sux, and John Podesta.

Now, while trying to find a parking place in NYC, my chauffeur was beaten up by Arec Barrdwin who is serving time for doing a bad imitation of a Hollywad actor in a South Park movie.  This means that I have probably lost my shot at an audition to be a future claimant against the US POTUS's next Burrito Supreme Court nominee; I was supposed to audition to claim he or she violated my sock puppet at an elementary school play 42 years ago.  Oh the humanities.

Due to my ill-health and age, I would suggest you to please contact my adopted pet yak in Johannesburg, South Africa on the below stated Telephone Number and Email Address for details and procedure.  Make sure to have a translator standing by, as my adopted pet yak struggles a bit with Yoruba, English and Darfurese.

Please Contact My adopted pet yak:

Igor The Adopted Pet Yak
Tel: + 27 78 130 5352
Email: karimfamily2017@yahoo.com

Thanking you for your anticipated "WTF?" response to this email.

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Aisha Karim

I entertained rather high hopes that Madam Karim would see fit to respond to this email; alas, she must have Googled a picture of Griffin dancing topless in front of her living room window.

That's enough to stop a volcano in mid-eruption, cold.