More FBI *FAIL*

No, Cloris Leachman from Young Frankenstein has nothing to do with FBI email scams.

Other than in passing in the edit.

More on that in a bit.

Scam emails, purportedly from the FBI, seem all the rage of late.  So little credibility and so many new and different directors to choose from, the scammers apparently think that if they try enough, they'll come up with an FBI scam letter that 'clicks' with the gullible out there.

Kinda like Hellary Clinton and John Kasich, thinking they can con voters into electing them president.

Here's the latest effort to give my character the business from the formerly venerated organization, under the title of World Bank Grants:


FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS
J.EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,
NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR.
Christopher A. Wray

NOTICE!!!

Our Ref: (Ref Vibe # FRS/019223/UN00155127/CONTRACT E/615AX).

To. Beneficiary:


 We use this opportunity to confirm from you if really you have sent your Doctor as a representative. However, we received an email from one Dr. Mrs. Verani Bekti yesterday who told us that she is your private Doctor and next of kin and that you died of cancer recently. Her contact details:  Address: 110 Interglen Avenue, River Vale, New Jersey 07675. Beneficiary: Dr Mrs Verani Bekti. But from our findings through FIRS (TAX RECORD) we could not find any death record about you.
Please confirm to us immediately that you are alive.

 Note that we are bound to recognize Dr. Mrs Verani Bekti's claim if you fail to promptly respond.
We decided to write to your email and if there is no reply of this message from you within 48 hrs it will be assumed that her information is correct then we shall work with your representative and do what she has requested.

 An irrevocable payment guarantee has been issued by the United Nations (UN) and the International Monetary Fund (IMF) on your Payment. However, we are happy to inform you that based on our recommendation/Instructions you’re complete Compensation fund of USD$4,000,000.00 through a secured/certified mode of payment.


YOU ARE ADVISED TO FOLLOW THIS INSTRUCTION STRICTLY.
CONTACT AGENT Aubrey Farrar Sr.
E-MAIL: fbi.ci.go@hotmail.com

Best Regard,
Christopher A. Wray
Director
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION  


About as convincing as the rest of their ploys.

Mayhaps the edit I sent back will work with a couple or so of their peers that I included in receiving the edit:

From: FEDERAL BURRITO OF INVEGGIEATION <info@fbi.gov.org>
Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2018 1:17 AM
To: Recipients
Subject: WORLD GRANTS THAT YAKS HAVE RIGHTS TO WEASEL SEX

 

FEDERAL BURRITO OF INVEGGIEATION
J. HEADGUARD HEEVER BUILDING

499 S Capitol St SW · (202) 479-1237

WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001

OFFICE OF THE MISDIRECTOR.

James "Twerp" Comey

NOTICE!!!

Our Ref: (Ref Vibe # FRS/019223/UN00155127/CONTWACT E/615AX).

To Whom It Should Concern If You're The Whom Referenced Herein:

Instead of using a bugged potted plant, surveillance drone or authentic microphone-hogging Jim Acosta Toilet Paper dispenser that's all the rage at cnn in Atlanta, we use this opportunity to confirm from you if really you (a) have sent your Doctor as a representative (b) if that doctor is one Dr. Mrs. Verani Bekti, if (c)  yesterday she told us that she is your private Doctor and next of kin and (d) that you died of Implosive painful rectal itch of the sinus passage recently.

If you are, in fact, as described in (d), we will need to confirm this.  Therefore, we have a paid psychic medium standing by with ITC equipment, prepared to reach out to you across the Astral Bridge and hear sworn testymonkey from your esteemed and deceased self that you are, in fact, as dead as a can of corned beef.  And, we aren't hesitant to assert, that's pretty well and good dead to be in that condition.

From your doctor -- who resembles Cloris Leachman in Young Frankenstein -- we have these contact details:  Address: 110 Interglen Avenue, River Vale, New Jersey 07675. But from our findings through FIRS (TAX RECORD) we could not find any connection between you and the International Crustacean Obedience Training Institute, located in Vaduz, Liechtenstein.  And this too, she laid claim to having been deeded from you upon your asserted-to demise.

So whatever the flying fish f**k you are, please confirm to us immediately that you are alive, dead, or in a suspended pickled state like Hellary Clinton.

Note:  e-flat.  Add to that we are bound to recognize Dr. Mrs Verani Bekti's claim if you prove to be dead, or are at least as intellectually stunted as Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez.

We decided to write to your email and if there is no reply of this message from you within 48 hrs it will be assumed that her information is correct then we shall work with your representative and do what she has requested.

An irrevocable stay of execution of flying kumquat hors d'oeuvres guarantee has been issued by the United Nations Suckretary Genital and the International Monkeytary Fund (IMF) regarding the outcome of our communications with your live or dead self.  However, we can confirm that you are NOT on the POTUS's short list of pending Supreme Court nominees, so you will be spared being accused of having sexually molested a coat rack at a frat party in a location not remembered by anyone who wasn't there, give or take 36 years ago, by a collection of democrap activists who have nothing but illicit fantasies about sex with sock puppets and door knobs.

YOU ARE ADVISED TO FOLLOW THIS INSTRUCTION STRICTLY.
CONTACT AGENT Aubrey Farrar Sr.
E-MAIL: fbi.ci.go@hotmail.com

Whatever they tell you to do, don't.

Best Regard,

Robert Mueller
MisDirector
FEDERAL BURRITO OF INVEGGIEATION  

 

 

No response was received from this latest incarnation of the FBI.

 

Cloris Leachman probably did the trick.