Snowmore Of This Scam

Winter's coming.  Yes...perhaps even scenes like this, to places far and wide across the fruited plain.

Especially where democraps are ruining things.

Meantime, looky what we got h'yar:  another "general" from Nigeria.  A major general, no less:

Am Major-General Babagana Monguno (rtd). National Adviser to President
Muhammadu Buhari the president Federal Republic of Nigeria. I decided to
contact you because of the prevailing security report reaching my office
and the intense nature of polity in Nigeria. I Determined To Make Contact
With You As Of The Widespread Refuge Information Reaching My Office And The
Severe Nature Of Guidelines In My Country.

This Is To Enlighten You About Our Arrangement To Send Fund To You Via
Cash Release As It Is The Only System That Will Be Easier For You And
Us, We Are Going To Send Your Contract/ inheritance Part Payment Sum Of 10.5
Million United States Dollars By Way Of Diplomatic Cash Delivery.

Note:The Money Is Coming On 2 Security Proof Boxes. The Boxes Are
Sealed With Synthetic Nylon That Was Sealed And Padded With Machine.

This Fund Was Brought To Us For Our Local A.F.E.M. Market, But Since
The Money Was Not Used, I Will Use My Position As The National Adviser
to President To Send This Fund To You.

All You Need To Do Now Is To Send To Me Your Full House Address And
Your Identity Such As, International Passport Or Drivers License
Including Your Contact Phone & Fax Numbers For Easy Communication,

Note: The Diplomats Do Not Know The Original Contents Of The Boxes.
What I Acknowledged To Them As The Contents Is Sensitive Photographic
Film Material. I Did Not Declare Money To Them Please. If They Call
You And Ask You The Contents Please Tell Them The Same Thing. Send Me
An Email And I?ll Let You Know How Far I Have Gone With The
Arrangement.

Please I Need Urgent Reply Because The Boxes Are Scheduled To Be As
Soon As We Hear From You.

Best Regards,

Major-General Babagana Monguno (rtd).
National Security Adviser to the President
Federal Republic of Nigeria  


My character welcomes the major genital to the world of editing, our style:


Subject: VERY URGENT FROM TWAT WAFFLES OF AFRICA

 

I am Major-Genital Babbaloobia Montenegro Ungabunga (retarded). I is the National Adviser to President Muhammadu Buhari Buttducktor, the acting president Federal Republic of Nigeria. I decided to contract an infectious genital wart disease and see if I could transfer it to you because of the prevailing security report reaching my office and the intense nature of polity in Nigeria.  Which is a nice way of saying that we and things totally buttsuck here.  I Determined To Make Contact With anyone I could reach due to The Widespread Refuge Information Reaching My Office And The Severe and totally suckass Nature Of how things utterly fail to work In My Country.

This Is To Enlighten You About Our Arrangement To further f**k up our country by packaging trunk-sized boxes of anchovies with no preservatives, holding them in a steaming warehouse for five weeks, and then shipping them to points all over the Solar System because we're kinda f**ked up in the head and like to do things like this because we are.  And we do.  Because we are.

Note: The putrid anchovies Is Coming in a memo that Dianne Frankenfeinstein has been sitting and menstruating on for the past ten years.  It'll be put in Boxes. The Boxes Are not Sealed because those menstruated-upon anchovy memos are a lethal beyond anything you'd expect from the butt side of a fossilized Califorlornia senator of dubious genital cleanliness and really thinks she can derail a Supreme Court nomination with her aged menstruations.

This clusterf**k of an idea Was Brought To Us For Our Local A.F.E.M. Market, But Since The anchovies are already in raging stench mode, I Will Use My Position As The National Adviser to President To Send This putrid sh*t To You.

All You Need To Do Now Is To Send To Me Your Full House Address And Your Identity Such As, International Passport Or Drivers License Including Your Contact Phone & Fax Numbers For Easy Communication,

Note: The Diplomats Do Not Know The Original Contents Of The Boxes, though anyone within a city block of them should be able to tell.  What I Acknowledged To Them As The Contents Is Sensitive Photographic Film Material of Hellary Clinton leaving a Motel Six with an inflatable Tom Arnold sex toy and a yak. Please. If They Call You And Ask You The Contents Please Tell Them The Same Thing. Send Me An Email And I'll Let You Know How Far I Have Gone With The Arrangement.

Please I Need Urgent Reply Because The Boxes here smell like six week old anchovies and someone needs to get those f**king things outta here.

Regards,

Major-Genital Babbaloobia Montenegro Ungabunga (retarded).
National Security Adviser to the badly-acting President
Federal Republic of Nigeria

"If it ain't f**ked up yet it's cuz we ain't got to it yet...don't worry, we will"  

Funny thing...the major genital didn't see fit to follow this up.

I think the snow monster from Rudolph sent him packing.  Or the anchovies got him.