Picking A Peck of Pickled Peckers

In case the picture here makes no sense, wait for it...it will.

A banker in the African nation of Togo thought the best way to start out an email scam to my character was to do so by referencing ethics and codes of conduct.

Always a way to make me laugh at the outset:


It is totally against the ethics and civil service code of conduct in
accordance with oath of secrecy for me to do this but I wish to do this on
personal capacity believing you will not betray me but will surely come
back to reward me for my sincerity, honesty and for my great effort made to
secure a successful conclusion of this transaction in your favor.

Please confirm if truly the bank has communicated you regarding payment of
your over due fund.

However, i wish to inform you that a woman submitted her name claiming that
you were death, and she is to be your next of kin, her details and banking
particular was among the list certified for payments, see below and confirm
for the account she submitted for transfer of your fund in our corresponding bank here in west Africa worth millions of dollars.

Beneficiary: Ms.Rhonda Miller
Bank Name: The Commerce Bank
Bank Address: 1072, Richmond av.
Staten Island, New York
Account Number: 4121097896,
Routing No:003-051-200,
Swift Code: CBNAUS33

I have inquired deeper to come to the conclusion that she and few powerful
individuals are behind this dastardly act without due notices to you, As it
stands now, you will certainly encounter enormous problems to convince the
International Remittance Department that you have not been served with
required number of direct notices.

You are therefore advised to submit your approval, as the bank will
certainly not be held responsible for paying into a wrong account, It will
serve you well if you would quickly get back to me so that i can issue
instruction for re-verification on your payment file towards Online
Transfer of your fund to you.

Please contact me here:  dhoroteagales@yahoo.com

Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Dhorothea Gales
Corporate and Commercial Banking.(BSIC BANK OF TOGO).  


I also love the "don't betray me" angle.

So my character didn't 'betray' her; he just edited her:

From: Mrs. Dhorothea Gales< dev@fluidonomics.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2018 10:46 PM
Subject: Greeting & Fallopian Mortar Tubes

 

It is totally against the ethics and civil service code of conduct in
accordance with oath of secrecy for me to do this; that is why I do

this.  I am a democrap.  We have no ethics or code of conduct.

 

I wish that you will not betray me on YouBoob or in Wankerleaks;

if you're going to betray me, by all means, do it on cnn because no

one believes those nippleheads anymore.

 

However, i wish to inform you that a non-binary gender fluid octosexual

orthopod claims to have pictures of you leaving a Motel 6 in Georgetown,

a suburbian of Warshington DC at 2:45am, with a yak, an inflatable Hellary

sex toy and a either a set of bagpipes or a very leaky, squeaking octopus.

 

 

She says that for not turning these over to Robert Mueller's incestigation

of anything he can make up, you owe her everything in the secret bank

account in NY state that has been maintained for you by a pious group of

chaste marmot nuns that were recently chasted by a three-peckered goat

at their convent. 

I guess you must have pictures of that and they know it.

In a possible three-way trade with Oakland, you get a tackling dummy and

future draft busts, but I digress.

Somehow, this whole hokey scenario is worth millions of dollars to the

perversion-starved population of Uranus, who recently had their porn

channel on Nutflux interrupted by a mockumentary of Moochelle Obola's

sex change therapy. 

Maybe that's why the bagpipes/leaking, squeaking octopus was making so

much noise.

 Anyway, use this bank account information for any blackmailer that you

encounter, because none of it's worth a crap but it sounds convincing:

Beneficiary: Ms.Rhonda Miller
Bank Name: The Commerce Bank
Bank Address: 1072, Richmond av.
Staten Island, New York
Account Number: 4121097896,
Routing No:003-051-200,
Swift Code: CBNAUS33

I have inquired deeper to come to the conclusion that frog hair is a better

name of a junk band than for a brand name of genital hair conditioner.

Not related necessarily, but did you know that she and few powerful
individuals are behind this dastardly act without due notices to you?

Please insert $2500 for this part of the message to be explained.

Assuming that you probably didn't insert the $2500 -- you twat omelet, you --

you is or are therefore advised to submit your approval in the form of a

yak baphomet, as the bank will certainly not be interested in putting one of

these in a safe deposit box; they fart and violate the integrity of the box locks.

It will serve you well if you would quickly get back to me so that i can see

what someone did to this email, Ma, so I know how it's turning out all wrong,

just like they done to my song.
 
Please contact me here:  dhoroteagales@yahoo.com

Mrs. Dhorothea Gales
Corporate and Commercial Butt Diving, TOGO 

not members SDIC  


I heard nothing further from the Togo banker, but the SDIC wants to know how they wound up in here...