Baldwin Bloviation

My pet rock, Seymour, loved the movie Team America World Police.  

He especially loved how most of the Hollywad elitists were portrayed and met their respective demises.

Especially the King of Twat Waffles, Alec Baldwin.

So it didn't surprise me when Seymour saw an interview wherein Baldwin asserted that if he ran against POTUS in 2020, he'd beat him "a thousand percent".

The bigger the ego with less to prop it up, the harder it can fall.

So Seymour decided to don his "editing gone wild" hat, and have a go:

Alec Baldwin Says He’d Beat Himself in 2020: “I One-Thousand Percent Would Fail At Math And Masturbation”

By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS

Alec Baldwin has been one of Donald Trump’s most moronic and out of his league critics, and the “30 Rock” nincompoop told Howard Be Thy Name Stern in an appearance on Monday that there’s no doubt he’d beat a sock puppet but not the president if he were to run against him in 2020.

“If I ran, I would make the biggest ass of myself since that marionette did it for me in Team America World Police,” Baldwin proclaimed. “I would absolutely look like a total twat waffle. A 1,000 percent twat waffle.”

The only things preventing the actor from running against Trump, he says, is his ego not yet having overloaded his ass. If it were to, he'd run “and get royally flogged”.

"My crampaign would be the lowest, lousiest, most abjectly stupid crampaign that would allow twat goblins like Kathy Griffin, Chelsea Mishandler, Ashley Dudd and Josh Whedon a wee amount – albeit, an immeasurable amount – of redemption,” Baldwin added.

And he wouldn’t be wrong for once.  Sorta.

Baldwin has been making an ass of himself long before 2016 which earned him praise from unhinged, meth-abusing liberals and scorn from many conservatives, including Trump himself.

But for now, Baldwin is going to leave the making crampaign asses of themselves to the pack of leftist moron politicians, while offering a message for anyone deciding to run.

“We really don't have anyone on the left that's worth a sh*t,” he said in a more serious tone. “I’d love to run for that kind of position to just have things be very common sense. However, since I don't know jacksh*t about common sense – I am, after all, a lefty democrap that supported the most corrupt broom rider in history – I wouldn't know where to begin, other than by using the same losing playbook the DNC used with Hellary. And that's why Trump won.

There are so many things that this country needs to do that are so obvious, and that damned Trump is doing them. It's really disheartening when we were all set to let Hellary continue turning us into Venezuela. And now Trump is trying to make peace with Kim Jong Un, after Un's father shot me up in TAWP. I just can't get over it.”

Baldwin's therapist was not returning calls.


"Think this will get me a Pulitzer?"

No, Seymour...but it will get you a denigrating mention on SNL.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFT!!!"