Monday, June 11, 2018

Having Nun Of It

In the 1960s, they brought us The Flying Nun.

At some point thereabouts or after, they brought us Blue Nun, the wine.

From flyin' to drunk, most of us were having nun of it.

Fast forward to 2018, and an email I get from Sister Rose Hary:

Greeting in Jesus name!!!
Claim of donation funds!!! My name is, Sister Rose Hary from United
States, I'm a widow suffering from Breast Cancer and Stroke, which denied
me a child as a result i may not last till the next two months according
to my doctor report. I'm married to late Pastor Bailey James, and we were
married for many years without any issue child before his death. I'm 68
years old woman. I have some funds i inherited from my late husband the
sum of (5.8 million dollars) which i needed a very honest and God fearing
person who will claim the funds from the bank and use the funds for work
of God Affair donation in the house of God, like propagating the good news
of God and to endeavor God worshiping place and help less-privileged. I
found your profile and i decided to contact you for the donation work of
God Affair.
I don't need any telephone communication in this regards because of my
health according to my doctor report, please if you would be able to use
the funds for the work of God Affair as i stated contact me back  so i
will lead you to Ally  Bank   International in Washington DC where this
funds was deposited by my late husband Pastor Bailey James , for you to
retrieve the funds in my name as the next of kin for work of God Affair.
and  contact  me  through  email  (
I will stop here until i hear from you.
Always pray for my health.
May God bless you In Jesus name Amen!!!
Sister Rose Hary !!!  
After she gets a load of what I dun to her email, Mother Superior...I suspect it'll stay stopped:
From: Sister Hairy Rose Hawgwarts <>
Sent: Wednesday, February 21, 2018 2:41 PM
Subject: Greeting in Harold's name!!! 

Greeting in Harold's name!!!

Y'know...Harold be thy name!!!

Claim of nun sex with penguins!!!   Not really...I just threw that in to watch your face.

My name is Sister Hairy Rose Hawgwarts from United State of Ochallapokadoka,of the dyspepsic sect of the Malla Haha Hare Krishna, hindquartered in a pseudoconvent under the Indianapolis International Airport.
We had to move here after our original convent was upended by a threepeckered goat from Pakistan, named Doink.

You have no idea.
I'm a nun for years suffering from starched habits.  We all thought that,
with enough starch, we too could be flying nuns.
Apart from watching Sister Amelia blown like a tumbleweed sixty-six
miles into Ohio, it didn't work.
Sally Field, our false advertising law suit is in process.
As a result, this denied me roles on Confess THIS, Heaven Best Wait,
The Ass of Sister Sarah and Breaking Worse. 
Don't believe me?  Here's our photo tryout for Breaking Worse:

I'm 68 years old woman, still able to touch my toes with my fingers, not
my boobs, though they're catching up. I have some home-made hootch
stashed in a communion set I carry to look official when I'm actually
trolling for some hot hunk needing something to confess in the morning.


Originally I had in mind to look for a very honest and God fearing
person who will claim my virginity as their own; LMAO over thatone, as did my fellow sisters.  Now I'm just looking for a goodtime, so I had my online name "Candy" etched in every public

rest room from here to Hoboken. 

I've been assured that Hoboken has caught up to the rest of
that part of the country with inside outhouses.

God loves a sinner come around at Happy Hour, like propagating the good news
of polyester leisure suits coming back at Wal-Mart and the deer and the antelope
learning the art of playing the vuvuzela to mess with rutting elk.

I found your profile and i decided that you sounded perverse enough
to contact you for the giving to this 68 year old broad some halleluiah
in the rectory after vespers.

Praised be Viagra, stiffener of all things flaccid. 
I don't need any telephone communication in this regards because of my
phones being tapped by the shadow government; they think I'm part of
those nuns that don't want to be forced to dispense condominiums to
horny kids under Obolascare. 

So just contact me through this email below:
I will stop here until i hear from you.
Always pray for hot penguin sex for me.
May God bless you if you sneeze and Harold otherwise because
it's always been Harold by thy name Amen!!!
Sister Hairy Rose Hawgwarts !!!

After reading what I dun to her nun mail, Sister Rose Hary decided a few Hail Marys would not be redemptive enough to save this lad for her scam...

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