Tuesday, December 19, 2017

A Dictator's Atturkey Wants Paid

The picture will make some sorta sense soon.

Moreso than the email my character got from the late Muammar Gaddafi's personal lawyer.

Uh huh.

Read it h'yar:

I am Honourable Barrister Ahmed Salam. the personal resident Attorney  here in Burkina Faso to Late Mr. Muammar  Muhammad Abu Minyar  al-Gaddafi of Libya c. 1942 – 20 October 2011. Late Mr. Muammar
Muhammad Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi  c. 1942 – 20 October 2011, commonly  known as Colonel Gaddafi, was a Libyan former head of state,  revolutionary and a  politician, who died on 20 October 2011, was my
client here in Burkina Faso Africa.

My client Late Mr. Muammar Muhammad Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi c. 1942 – 20
October 2011, was having a deposit sum of  {thirty million four
Hundred thousand united state dollars} only ($30.4M USD) with a
security finance firm affiliated with African development bank here in
Burkina Faso.

With the above explanation’s I want to move this money from Burkina
Faso to your country, affidavit on your name,  but note that this is a
deal between me and you and should not be related to anybody until the
deal is over for security reasons, please if interested reply as soon
as possible.

Barrister Ahmed Salam.  

Are you convinced?  Neither was I.  Nor was my pet rock, Seymour.  Nor was my character.

We flipped a coin for it...Seymour swiped the coin and I drew the edit.


Okay, so while I frisk my pet rock for the coin, here's the edit that our aggrieved Atturkey received (and kinda sorta helps explain the picture above):

From: Barr.Ahmed Salam< barrister.ahmedsalam@gmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, November 14, 2017 1:07 AM
Attn: Sir/Madam/Gender Choice Not Therein Mentioned

I am Honourable Bannister Achmed Salamionrye.   It's not easy being me.

I was the personal resident Atturkey here in Burkina Fatso to Mr. Muammar 
Muhammad Abu Gesundheit al-Gaddafi, the dicktater of Libya c. 1942 – 20
October 2011.  The now Late Mr. Muammar Muhammad Abu Gesundheit al-
Gaddafi  c. 1942 – 20 October 2011, commonly known as Colonel Douche
Camel, was a Libyan former head of state, who is of late sans head and
all that went widdit, and he was my client here in Burkina Fatso Africa.

My client Late because he's headless Mr. Muammar Muhammad Abu
Gesundheit al-Gaddafi, never paid me for my services after having hisself
shortened by a head.

Bad form, that.  My services cost money, headless or not.  With what
he owed me and the late fees I've applied to his bill, it now comes to
the sum of  {thirty million four Hundred thousand united state dollars}.

It has been pointed out to me that since he's dead, I am not going to 
collect my money from him.

But you're not dead...you can pay for his services.  I was told that you'd
help me out with this because you owe reparations anyway, what with
your white privilege and all that popular political correctness sh*t that's
the rage at your Democrapic National Committee.

So pony up.  Shed some of that white guilt you carry.  Do that and I'll
tell Antifa not to molest your trash can with one of their abjectly
stupid signs.

Hurry, deals like this won't last.  
Bannister Achmed Salamionrye.  
I really didn't expect a response from the originating scammer on this one, but I got one:
He asked...he got answered with this photo and text:
Just an atypical recipient of your email that isn't gibbon a damn about your email.  What are you?  
I guess the mere idea that he was trading emails with a gibbon was a bit much for the good bannister.
As for white guilt...meh.

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