Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Them Negative Waves Still Ain't Makin' It

You tell 'em, Oddball.

Negative waves didn't get it done in 1970, and they're no more woof woof in 2018.

But "General" David Rodriguez had to learn that the hard way.  Kinda like Moriarty.

Here was the opening gambit by the 'General':


I’m Gen.David Rodriguez from united state, I serve under the United Nations department of safety and security (UNDSS) in Syria, I came across some money that was parked in a trunk box and the money is worth $10.5million, in one of President Bashar al-Assads allies house and I have moved the money out to a Global Delivery Company as a medical equipment, I`m looking for a trust worthy person that i can trust the above money with him or her for safe keeping pending when my arrival to your country for investment in a profitable business.I will reward you with %25 of the total sum.

If you can help me to receive the trunk box in your country,kindly get back to me through my Email,( gendavidrodrigueez@gmail.com ) and if you are not ready for the assistance please and please do not let this be known to the world, for the security of my work in US Army.

send to me these information's:

NAME IN FULL:...............
ADDRESS:...............
NATIONALITY:...........
AGE:..................
OCCUPATION:................
PHONE......................

Yours sincerely.
Gen.David Rodriguez.  



Sounds convincing, don't he? 

*snort*

Let's see how his reading comprehension is:


I could tell that you're a genital from the united state.  It's all in your military bearing and lingo.  


Asked and answered:


Hi Dear,

My Greetings to you.

I`m deeply indebted for your responds to my message and I wish to see
you in person one good day.  because once you received the Trunk Box
from the delivery company, i will immediately take permission from my
superior, and  come over to you, so that both of us will plan on how
to invest this money in a good business. Attached with this mail are
my pictures also my Id card for your view and record keeping, i will
also want to see yours as well.

Meanwhile,Please fill in your full name on the two spaces and send the
message to the Global Delivery Company for them to commence on the
delivery to your destination without further delay. Also let me know
and send copy of the message to me as soon as you send it to the
company.

Global Delivery Company email address: ( globalfirmw@financier.com )

Best Wishes.
General, David Rodriguez.


.........................................................


Dear Sir,

My name is………………………………from………………………………a friend of. General David
Rodriguez, of US Army in Syria & I am contacting in Respect of His
Trunk Box, which is under the Global Delivery Company Custody. I have
been authorized to receive it here in my country. Please send me the
details on how to receive the trunk box and I will get back to you as
soon as possible.

(A) Full Name:.............
(B) Address:................
(C) Phone Number:......

Treat as urgent.

My regards.  


He even tried to buttress his cred with a photo ID:

And a photo of his with the former doofus in chief:



Not only did it fail in epic proportions, ol' Georgie Patton would have slapped this yutz all the way back to Sicily.


Instead, I decided to channel Oddball, when I edited the email I was supposed to send to the Global Delivery Company:


Dear Sir,

My name is………Kelly………………………from………US Army………………………working for Genital David Rodriguez, of US Army in France and I am leading a ragtag platoon to a bank in
Claremont -- the Genital's staff pronounces it "Clarmon" -- where there's 16 million in
gold just waiting to be picked up. 
 
 
Crapgame is going with us because such a venture needs a sound financial mind along in case there's a bonus.  And a lot of help carrying the .30 caliber machine gun.
 
 
Oddball is going to join us providing armored support since he's been holding himself in reserve, in case the krauts launch an offensive that threatens Paris, or maybe even New York, then he
can move in and stop them.
 
 
 But for $16 million dollars, he and his men can become heroes for three days.  Big Joe lends a good head for tactics, and because they always need a loud mouth sergeant for stuff like this. I have been authorized to receive it here in my country but since it's in a bank behind enema lines, it could be the perfect crime this way. Please send me the details on how to drink wine, eat cheese and catch
some rays, y'know.  Do that and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

(A) Full Name:.............Kelly
(B) Address:................US Army
(C) Phone Number:......once I get to Masseureaux I can call you with dat

 Treat as urgent.

My regards.
Kelly 'n his 'heroes'  
 
 
As unmilitary as the 'Genital' sounded, perhaps my edit of his letter to the delivery company sounded a little bit too much so.
 
At any rate, all the positive waves he might have had about that mother beautiful bridge still being there...went negative when it weren't.  And while the 'Genital' might blame me for that, I naturally refer him to Moriarity, the master of the negative waves.
 
Welcome to 2018.  Woof woof woof.  That's his other dawg imitation.

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