Flop Secret

When your character gets an email from the CIA, one tends to sit up and take notice.

Until you've read about a paragiraffe of it, and then....eh.

Just anudda scam.

You would think that someone wanting to impersonate the CIA would do at least a little bit better with the proofreading?  Shouldn't take you long to see what I mean:


central Intelligence Agency (CIA)
Office of Public Affairs
Washington, D.C. 20505
Customers Service Hours / Monday To Saturday
Office Hours Monday to Saturday:

Dear Beneficiary

This is Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) we are enhanced by the United Nations Governments and African Union Governments to carry out a special job for benefit of people like you. We based in WASHINGTON D.C but right now we are presently in Africa working as representative solicitors to the United Nations Governments and African Union, we are working towards the eradication of fraudulent in western and southern part of Africa with the help of United Nations Governments and African Union Governments. We know that this message will come to you by surprise but we want you to believe the message and respond to it as soon as possible for quick release of your funds.

First of all let me introduce my self to you. My Name is FOX Michael Roger, I am the commander of the (CIA) squared that where called by the United Nations Governments and African Union Governments to come down to Africa and fight against fraudulent that have been going on in Africa countries. It pleases me that I am written this letter to you and I am going to break it down to your understanding so that you will not be confused when reading it but to understand it and respond to it so that you will receive your compensated funds worth the sum of $250. million USD as soon as possible. For the past Seven (7) months my dear, the United Nations Governments and African Union Governments was having series of meetings together based on how to fight against scam / fraudulent activities that have been going on in African countries, the meeting was held with the secretary general of United Nations Organization and present Governors of some western and southern
parts of Africa which! meeting ended 9 days.

In the meeting, the United Nations Governments in conjunction with their African Union Governments concluded with the trust they have with we the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), they gave us this job to carry it out and work it perfectly, they concluded that we the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) should go and track down scam artist/fraudsters in various parts of Africa which includes (1) Ghana,(2) Cote D'Ivoire,(3) Burkina Faso,(4) South Africa, and Senegal. also to make arrests of any suspected fraudsters/scam artist in the above mentioned African countries. The meeting was held because of so many complaints that the (UN) have been getting from individuals in overseas that they have been losing money from scammers in Africa and they should look into it, so that's why we are sent to Africa to track down scam artists in Africa regions and deal against them.

Now with collaboration and help of the present Governments of Nigeria, Ghana, Cote D'Ivoire, Burkina Faso, South Africa, Benin Republic and some other African Governments, We have successfully tracked down and arrested over 957 fraudsters in both west and south African countries and prosecuted over300 government, Banking officials and arrest is still going on.  

And it went on to promise my character a piece of the $250 million via ATM card, at a cost to my character of ONLY $200 USD.

Uh huh.

And now...itttttttttttts EDIT TIME:

From: FOX Michael Roger <barristermaxwill_ofordila@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, April 27, 2017 8:42 AM
Subject: This Is Top Secret Email Communication Contact Thingee

Off-central Intelligence Agency (oCIA)
Orifice of Pubic Affairs
Washington, D.C. 20505
Customers Service Hours / It's a Secret:  if we tell you we have to incarcerate you

Dear Secret Contactee

This is off-Central Intelligence Agency (oCIA) we are enhanced by the United Nations Governments and African Union Governments and any other governments that want to play once this gets around, to carry out a special job for benefit of people like us at the cost of people like you. We based in WASHINGTON D.C -- if you tell anyone that we'll turn you into a yak -- but right now we are presently in Africa working under the covers as representative solicitors to the United Nations Governments and African Union, we are working towards the eradication of things that stymy fraudulent acts in western and southern part of Chicago with the help of United Nations Governments and African Union Governments. We know that this message will come to you by surprise and special secret courier -- a drone disguised as a pteroducktyl designed by Acme Corporation and endorsed by Wile Coyote -- but we want you to believe the message and respond to it using a secret code we'll reveal later in this mail.

First of all let me introduce my self to you after which I will has to keel you if you're not silent!  My Name is FOX Michael Roger, code name Whiskey Tango Foxtwot.  I am the commander of the (oCIA) squared to the 7th power that wuz called by the United Nations Governments and African Union Governments to come down to Chicago and fight against efforts to impede fraudulent that have been going on in places like this. It pleases me that I am written this letter to you -- because I am illiterate and an abject moron for which no natural explanation can justify -- and I am going to break it down to your understanding because I think you is stupider than me.  See Dick.  See Jane.  See Dick dick Jane.  See Jane sue.  Now Jane gots money.  Dick not got.  Spot ran off with Jane.  Puff ran off with Mrs. Slocum from Are You Being Served.  Dick now does a talk show on cnn at 2am.  

Back from digression, in the meeting I digressed from, the United Nations Governments in conjunction with their African Union Governments concluded with the trust they have with we the off-Central Intelligence Agency (oCIA), they gave us this job to carry it out and work it secretly perfectly, they concluded that we the off-Central Intelligence Agency (oCIA) should be able to do this as long as we avoid going through Hellary Clinton's email server so that Wikileaks gets the whole story posted at Weekly World News.  What story you ax?  We are to go and track down scam artist/fraudsters in various parts of Chicago which look like (1) Ghana,(2) Cote D'Ivoire,(3) Burkina Faso,(4) South Africa, Senegal and shot up parts of Syria, which much of Chicago do look like these days.   And have done that, we are to make arrests of anyone suspected of interfering in that fraudsters/scam artist activities.

The meeting was held because of so many complaints that the (UN) have been doing jack sh*t about anything and they thought now that Trump is president in US that they better do something -- ANYTHING -- so as not to get evicted.

Now with collaboration and help of the present Governments of Nigeria, Ghana, Cote D'Ivoire, Burkina Faso, South Africa, Benin Republic, the DNC and their media outlets cnn and msnbc, we have successfully tracked down and arrested over 957 persons trying to inhibit fraudsters from making us money.  And arrest is still going on.  Maxine Waters might be knocking down your door soon, if she can quit drooling long enough to remember what she's there for.

So my dear in order to respond to this email for a purpose we could tell you but would have to have Achmed keel you over if you are not silent, you must contact in a disguised manure our corresponding barrister over here, Barrister Richard who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to this abject hokum.  He will ask you to authenticate yourself, of course:  you must do this by send him $200 usd and the parodied lyrics that Seymour PetRock wrote from the song I'm A Girl Watcher.  Furthermore you don't have any thing to be afraid of if you keep all things in coded code that cannot be uncoded easy by persons of assorted disorders of the code.  After all, you know that we the off-Central Intelligence Agency (oCIA) is involved in this, you have to be rest assured that this is 100% risk free unless you reveal any secrets, and then Achmed will keel you to keep you silent.  

Below are Barrister Richard contact information, do contact him immediately so that he can get in touch with a secret shipment of inflatable goiters that are our go-between in this special operation.

Email:  officecentralintelligence@gmail.com  (don't laugh; this is so simple, no one would ever know that it's really us)

You are advised to reconfirm your instructions in Azerbaijanied pigeon English and your security code which is (oCIA 2500), and email submit it along with a picture of Taylor Swift in a bikini soonest for security reasons.

Your full Name (no half empty names please)..................
Your Residential Country (where does your country reside, in case Gooble Eoith can't find it)........
Your Full Home Address..........
Current Occupation..............
Age.............................
Mobile phone number.............

Does it work when not mobile.............

NOTE: Under normal circumstances you would be expected to delete this email and pretend that you never seed it.  But this is not normal, we are not normal, and we expect you to not behave normal so do as we say and all will be well with us.  With you, not so much.  

FOX Michael Roger code name Whiskey Tango Foxtwot
off-Central Intelligence Agency (oCIA)
Orifice of Pubic Affairs
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535

Take note: this email was supposed to self desecrate in seven seconds.  We can't seem to get that to work.  If you find a way, would you send it to us?  What good is it to be oCIA and not have our self desecrate function work?  

 

 

The scammer didn't bother getting back to me.  Nor did, I think, the CIA.  Unless that pteroducktyl-looking drone overhead is NOT from Amazon.com?