Thursday, February 9, 2017

Odds, Oz and Falling Things

Not much disputing THAT.

However, a scammer from a possible target of the Clinton Crimedation solicitations is weighing in with one of my characters, apparently trying to raise money for "pay and play" next year.

Here is her ploy:


I trust you are in Good condition of health, my names are Mrs Maria Teresa A, and I am proud member of Church of the Holy Name of Jesus New York.USA, I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer, which have defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business.
Though by the grace of God I am a rich woman, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the World. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members base well as a few close friends .I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul. So, I have decided to give assistance to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.
So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in Somalia and Indonesia, Sri Lanka India Gambia and Philippines. My health is deteriorating I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.
The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Two Hundred and Fifty thousand dollars ($250,000, 00) that I have in Deposit Account. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and distribute it to charity organizations and also invest some of the money into some Cancer Research Institutions.
I sincerely pray you do not decline this call. Your urgent response will be appreciated.
Kindly forward the following particulars
Your Full Name........
Home or company address......
Occupation......
Phone number......
May the Good Lord be with you, Amen
Respectfully,
Mrs. Maria Teresa Antonio.
 
 
For the pithy amount offered to be scammed with, my character debated "bait option" or "edit option".
 
After a few seconds, it was clearly "edit":
 
 
I trust you are in a place other than Newark.  If there, sucks to be you.
One of my many many names are Mrs Maria Teresa A, and I am proud member of Church of the Holy Cow Did Y'all See That Thar, with Happy Hours all across Texarkana and parts of Idaho.  As a result of having climbed too many stairs in zero gravity while training for the NASA mission to Uranus, my lady parts has all fallen out and I am constantly tripping and falling over my genital thing when I return to normal gravity.
Shut up, wise ass.
Since this condition, I have been diagnosed with painful rectal sinus itch, which have defiled all forms of rectal-nasal inhalers, witch doctors, Obolascare and a belly rub from Buddha.  Right now I have only about a few months to continue my therapy from when I tripped over my genital thing during macarena lessons that were being played to Achy Breaky Vag, which shouldn't have happened according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone except a yak I've been corresponding with in Siberia.
Though by the grace of an empty Coke bottle from a movie in the middle/late 20th Century, I am a deity-taunting woman, throwing cat box deposits on baphomets and laughing hysterically when their eyes get red and things around me start exploding.  Since I considered people overrated, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my relationship with the yak in Siberia as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just a cud chewing, smelly yak in a far away suck ass place. 
I coulda had a pet rock.
So, I have decided to give assistance to geologic organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.
So far, I have distributed local quarry leavings to some road paving projects outside of Pahrump, Nevada and in desolate suck holes like Somalia and Indonesia, Sri Lanka, India, Gambia, the Philippines and Chappaqua, NY where that oversized thong torturer, Hellary, resides with her violated email server.  My sudden urge for doing this silly sh*t is deteriorating I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of a local Jehovah Witness/Atheist commune to help out, but all they do is knock on doors for no reason and this left me with that feeling of having wiped my ass with a brillo pad.
Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.
The last of my gold plated tin flying monkey collection which no one knows of since the Wicked Witch of the West was bucket f**ked after her sister met a house in a strange place somewhere in a Kansas tornado is all that I have left me.  I will want you to help me distribute this collection to deserving windows and organs across the fruits in Berkeley.
I sincerely pray you do not decline this call. Your urgent response will be appreciated.
May the Good Three Peckered Goat not hit your ewe convent too hard, Amen
Mrs. Maria Teresa Antonio.

This drew no response from the "ailing" scammer, but it did draw several aggrieved messages from one of her collies and steers who hilariously refers to hisself as HON Mr mark smith of Benin.  First it was this:
 
 
look i don't want you send me this kind of number again i am sick a tried of all this thing you have been sending to me ok am in Benin okey thanks you buy 


Then came this:

guy stop this  


Followed by the following:  


f**k you okey  you scammer


go away


go get work you mother f**ker  


Suffice it to say, my collective characters responded respectfully....by sending about 40 new and assorted edits to his email account (frankgodwin@textnow.me).  And they'll continue until it stops receiving them ;-)

*BLOGGER'S NOTE:  that took less than a week for his email account to get shut down   ;-)

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

All the responses he gave you would be great if you gave them right back. Just saying.

Have a fabulous day. My very best to Seymour and Element. ☺

09 February, 2017 08:22  

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