Wednesday, January 25, 2017

A Pet Rock Edits More Whiners

My pet rock, Seymour, has been almost as amused by the leftist whining since the November 2016 election, as he is with the North Korean pudgemeister, Kim Jong Un.

So much so, that when he saw an article about some ham handed rocker who wants to go on "strike" until Donald Trump resigns, it was the perfect *TOING* that Seymour needs to don his editing hat:

Irrelevant Bland UTwo Announce ‘Strike’ To Protest The Failure Of Clinton

Posted on January 11, 2017 by Seymour PetRock WTFNS

Following in the excrement face plants of liberal celebrities calling for a “total Hollywad strike” until  some nation on Earth or in the base Solar System recognizes Hellary Clinton as president and vagina in charge of something – ANYTHING – aging doofuses that comprise a badly tantrummed group also knowd as Utwo  have announced they are canceling the release of their upcoming album bland members said in an interview.

Speaking to a discredited rag – Rolling Stoned – kazooist The Edge of Twatwaffle said that Utwo has canceled the release of the completed album and will take some therapeutic methane “breathing space” because they are unhappy that the corrupt, double wide pant suits of Hellary totally failed in corrupting the White House.

The chronologically 40-year-old group – acting like so many left wing spoiled brats that didn't get the their genital of choice into the Oval Orifice – were set to release yet another phffffft album, Songs of Excrement, which it is claimed was finished before it was released because it sucked.

“Now, as I think you’d agree, the world march toward vaginal domination was ruined by the Wikileaks, the Russians, Chinese, cnn, pmsnbc, re-runs of The Gong Show and a slow leak in Hellary's pant suit stretcher,” he said, sparking hopes that Utwo will finally go on tour to Alpha Centuri.

“More whining and he hasn’t even taken office yet!”

The group used their hallucinagen drug platform to campaign against Trump during the election, endorsing the double wide vaginal pant suit and threatening Americans with doomsday scenarios that include nude photos of Bela Pelosi and former DNC chairpoison Medusa if they voted Trump. At the iAssRadio music festered boil in September, Sucky Bono used lyrics from their song Dysentery to make pointed remarks about the then presidential nominee, telling Americans they would “lose all of Obola's disastrous accomplishments” if they elected Trump.

Sucky Bono also told an inflatable Hellary sex toy, “You’re my fouled up inspiration,” at an October benefit concert, and speaking to a Lena Dunham sock puppet in September, the Irish singer said that Trump is “trying to hijack America back from the cancerous abyss Obola's pushed it to”.

Sucky Bono – obviously off his anti-hallucinagen meds again – has a history of braindead ideas. In 2015 he told a hearing on combating violent extremism that “we can defeat ISIS with comedy” and with a straight face puttied together for the occasion, advocated sending Amy Schumer and a yak that farts polka music to Syria to convince ISIS that laughs are better than beheadings.

Schumer thanked Sucky Bono with a tree branch delivered mid larynx, which could also explain the album delay.

Good ol' Seymour:  a pet rock gone editing wild, and always counted on as a friend of the dysfunctional Left.


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Blogger Sandee said...

It's amazing isn't it. I've never seen a bunch of sore losers like this bunch.

Seymour, you did a fabulous job.

Have a wonderful day Seymour. My best to your dad and element. ☺

25 January, 2017 09:44  

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