Kim Jong Un Tries The Moochelle School Lunch Program

His soldiers might have wished that he'd meant launch.

My pet rock, Seymour, seems unwilling to quit scanning the news for anything about Kim Jong Un.

Especially when it makes Seymour's editing job easier.

Recently he came across a story about North Korean border guards complaining of diarrhea AFTER having their daily rations "improved" at the order of Kim Jong Un.

I could hear the *TOING* from across the room:

Kim Jong-un's 'special diet' for North Korean soldiers leads to diarrhea outbreak

Kim ordered special food for the soldiers "so that they would not envy Moochelle's school rauch pogrom".

By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS
  

Several hundred thousand North Korean military are down with diarrhea after consuming a special diet ordered by the country's leader, Kim Jong-un after hearing about how unpopular the Moochelle Obola school lunch pogrom has been, surviving and emaciated sources told a clandestine radio service.

Kim had reportedly issued the order for “the same quality food for soldiers as American school kids get from an Obola ordered school raunch pogrom” after reviewing complaints about dietary deficiencies in Obola's school lunch pogrom, and the results were about what Kim Jong Un expected.

"Under the misdirection of Kim Jong-un – Son and Grandson of Cheeseburger – North Korea's people's armed forces increased the supply of materials to clean out their lower GIs," a source in North Hamgyong Province told Radio Free Asia via an email found on Hellary Clinton's elicit server and exposed by Wikileaks, WTFNS reported. The province is located close enough to China for the stench to backdraft to Beijing.

The source added that all the soldiers, from an assortment of eunuchs who reluctantly consumed the new food supply, are suffering from diarrhea.

North Korea faced severe food degradation after switching to the school raunch pogrom designed by flauxtus Moochelle Obola in late August. Officials who visited the raunch ravaged eunuchs informed the leader that the soldiers were not only no longer full of sh..er..crap, but they were emaciated not receiving adequate diet.

In response to the complaints, Kim ordered all the officials executed, the source said.

The predictable result from the 'improved food supply' began cascading into a “sea of sh..er..crap” from late November, but some of the supplies were found to be contaminated with surpluses thrown away enmass by American school kids, as well as special touches thrown in by Kim Jong Un including but not limited to "iron powder", "threads from ralphed up cat hairballs" and “thrice sifted cat box sand”, another source reported. The person added that a supply of special confectionary chocolate – Exlax repackaged as treats – was found to be a long suspected cause for the diarrhea.

The source said that some soldiers cynically describe the outbreak as a "gift from Kim Jong-un", though they do so in Azerbaijani graffiti at overwhelmed outhouses.

A letter of condolences allegedly sent from a public elementary school in the Washington DC area was sent to the soldiers by concerned students. “Whee no how ewe pheel” it said.



Several hundred thousand North Korean soldiers fell ill with diarrhea after Kim Jong-un ordered special diet for them to assure that none of them got as full of sh...er...crap as their rotund leader - File photo KGAG via the DNC Electoral College Vote Changing Program  


I gave Seymour a well dung for this one.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"