Will The REAL Joy Milla Please Step Forward?
Though more likely in a fly infested internet café in Africa.
I have heard more from a "Joy Milla" -- allegedly pictured at right -- than I have from even Mariam Abacha.
Here's Joy's typical pitch:
I am more than happy for your reply to my mail. How are you ? I hope fine. Dear, I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart. I will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you.
I decided to contact you due to the urgency attached to my situation, My name is miss Joy Milla, am the only daughter of Late Dr/Mrs. Abel Milla,my mother died when i was very little, I am now 23 years old girl from South Sudan, But presently i am residing here in DAKAR SENEGAL in refugee camp as a result of political war in my country.
My late father Dr. Abel Milla, he was very successful politician also a top businessman in south Sudan before he was shot dead during this last political crisis in my country. Before my father die,he called me and told me that he deposited the sum of Three Million, Eight Hundred Thousand U.S.D ($3.800,000.00) left in a suspense account in a bank in London, that he used my name as the next of kin to the funds.
I have all the documents with me here, Meanwhile after the burial of my late father,his brothers conspired and sold all my father's properties and he left nothing for me. start looking for me to killed, I escaped from my Country and came to Senegal Refugee Camp where i am living now and i do not intend to go back to country again. i wanted to locate to another country and start my new life.
My Dear,since i came here in this refugee camp, life became difficult to me,there is know food even good water to drink, I have informed the bank about claiming this money through there email, so that i can start something doing in my life, and the response that i should present a foreign partner who will help me transfer the fund into his or her account that am not capable to handle such Huge amount of Money, and also,based on my Refugee Status.
My dearest, please i am begging you to help me transfer this money into your bank account, from it you will send some money for me to get my traveling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you immediately after the transfer , To enable me start a new life ,because things are very bad for me here in the refugee camp where i am living today.
People are dying here on daily bases because of lack of food and poor medical treatment. I am afraid of what i am seeing here. I am willing to offer you 20% of the total sum as compensation of your effort/input after the successful transfer of this fund into your account.
Reply me back if you are Ready, willing, and able , to help me transfer the money to your account with sincerity, so that i can give you the contact of the bank, for you to contact them on my behalf on how to transfer the money to you.
To this end,I will like to hear your voice through the office number of the Reverend Father, his name is Reverend Paul Bennet and the phone number is ( +221780174962 ),When you call tell him you want to talk to Joy and he will then send his receptionist to call me hence I am staying at the female hostel block 104A,I had already told him about you.
I am waiting for your urgent and positive reply.
Details of the pitch vary, as do the 'reverend' to contact each time, but it's always Joy Milla.
But not the SAME Joy Milla.
Here are all of the Joy Millas that have thus far sent my characters this pitch:
Anyway, I let my testosterone-reduced dieting pet rock, Seymour, handle this reply.
"Am NOT!!!! PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!"
I thank you for your email. Truly I do. I always enjoy starting my day with emails from women like you looking with tears in your heart to be giving me the business.
Which Joy Milla will step up next? Perhaps this one that Seymour found so attractive:
I guess the pet rock told me...