Monday, January 4, 2016

Seymour Edits Kim Jong Un Again

It's 2016, and Kim Jong Un's at it again.

And my pet rock, Seymour, is right there to bait the pugnacious Pudgemeister.

In late 2015, Un claimed that North Korea had developed an "H" bomb.

hellary's been stinking up politics for way longer, Un.  *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

But leave it to Seymour to take the claim by the leading North Korean pudgester, and make it into something more South Park and SNL worthy:


North Korean Pudgemeister Claims To Have “F” Bomb

Obviously Kim Jong Un hasn't driven in NYC to know much about the proliferation of “F” bombs


By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS
   

PHFFFFT (WTFNS) - North Korean leader Kim Jong Un appeared on Thursday to claim his country has developed a flatulence or “F” bomb, a step up from the less powerful kimshi bomb, but the folks at South Park and SNL were delighted.

Kim made the comments as he toured the Phartchon PHFFFFFFFFFFFT Site, which marks the feats of North Korean flatulence for all the world to...uh...hear, the official KGAG impropaganda agency said.

“ The fratulence of Kim Il Sung turned the DPRK into a powerfur methane weapons state ready to detonate a self-reriant F-bomb to reriabry defend against Team America Worrd Porice," KGAG quoted Kim Jong Un as mumbling.

DPRK are the initials of the isolated North's official name, the Demoncrapic North Annex of the Demoncraptic National Committee in Washington DC. An “F” bomb, also known as a thermomethane bomb, uses no Beano to produce a significantly more powerful blast than an average elevator-clearing paint peeler.

North Korea conducted tests to set off “F” bombs in 2006, 2009 and 2013, for which it has been subject to U.N. Security Council sanctions banning trade and financing activities that aid its anus weapons program.

In Washington, the White House said it was probably because of global warming that Kim Jong Un is still being such a pudgy twatwaffle, but says that Donald Trump's hair is more of a threat.

"At this point, the information that we have access to calls into serious question the effect of Trump's hair on global climate change, and that's the threat we take very seriously. North Korea getting an “F” bomb is less likely than Iran getting a nuke thanks to ol' Horse Face," White House spokesman Josh Earnest told a regular briefing after a dozen mid day scotch 'n watterIsayingtodays.

The U.S. State Department repeated a hashtag that offered Kim Jong Un a job to abandon all “F” bomb kinds of weapons.  Marie Barf was not available for #.

The Foreign Ministry in China, North Korea's most important economic and diplomatic backer, said China was dedicated to ensuring that Pyongyang be dissuaded from becoming more flatulent than they long have been and resolving problems through talks.

"We hope that all sides can do more to fumigate the situation and make constructive efforts to maintain peace and methanic stability on the peninsula," ministry spokeswoman Hua Yu Phooling told a daily news briefing when asked about Kim's remarks.



A video grab from KGAG shows an alleged North Korean sub launched WhutThePhukDong-3 (WTF D3) rocket doing what most North Korean rockets do.

Impoverished North Korea – thanks to three generations of suckass readership – and rich, democratic South Korea remain technically at war after their 1950-53 conflict ended in a truce, not a treaty. The North has threatened to destroy the South and its major ally, the United States, in a flatulent “sea of frames”. 

 
Despite the tests, outside experts can smell something that stinks akin to kimshi in the North. 
 
If the “F” bomb claim is true, it would indicate advances in the North's pursuit of having rush hour traffic like that in NYC, LA and other gesture-laden cities during rush hour.

"I think it's unlikely that they have an “F”-bomb at the moment, but I don't expect them to keep trying to goad the South Park fellas into making a sequel to Team America World Police, just to please Kim Jong Un," said Jeffrey Lewis of the California-based AlGore Institute of International Made Up Global Warming Fraud at Monterey.

It was possible the North was referring to the technology of boosting the yield of a burrito supreme from Taco Bell, Lewis said.

North Korea claimed in 2010 that it had successfully developed flush toilet technology.

Assessing progress of the North's nuclear program is difficult because no one outside a close circle of leaders in that country knows what a flush toilet is.  


I think Seymour is getting closer to that Pulitzer he so prizes.

"Really???"

No.

"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!"

Very appropriate response, Seymour.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

I think Seymour is doing just fine. I love it when he writes about Un. He's so spot on.

Have a fabulous day Mike. My very best to the talented Seymour. ☺

04 January, 2016 11:29  

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