Scams Without Borders
Meantime...got another scam email from another scam charity. Located, of course, in Nigeria.
Here was their opening gambit:
Dear Esteemed Donor,
Let me first of all acknowledge the fact that this email is unsolicited, but kindly allow me to crave your indulgence.
The Charity without borders (TCWB) is a group that comprises of Rev Fathers from the St. Jude society and Rev Sisters from the Regina Caeli convent who are dedicated to caring for the victims of the boko haram crisis in northern Nigeria. We’ve been involved in caring for the displaced people in northern Nigeria and West/Central Africa especially since 2010 when the crisis in the Northern part of Nigeria took a new dimension. We have since been benefiting from the benevolence and support of the catholic bishop council of Nigeria, the Ford foundation, the Catholic relief organization and other international partners as well as a handful of well meaning individuals. But lately, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of internally displaced persons (IDP’S) and those being catered for in our camps scattered across Niger republic and Chad both neighboring countries in the northern troubled region of Nigeria. This increase is as a result of the renewed onslaught by the Nigerian military on the insurgents. This has made our already limited resources insufficient and our capacity is being overwhelmed on a daily basis.
Meanwhile, our donors and international partners are unwilling to increase their contribution and funding, as such our resources have dwindled considerably which is what has necessitated the need for this email.In our resolve to continually cater for the over three hundred thousand people (300,000) within our reach, made up of mostly women and children scattered across our camps and other resettlement centers pending when their homes, towns and villages are certified safe and they are willing to return home, we have decided to reach out to more kind hearted and public spirited individuals all around the world to please give whatever they can to help sustain the work.
If you have received this email please see it as a privilege and your opportunity to serve humanity. Please if you have in one way or the other donated before kindly ignore this message except you feel the need to do more.
You get the idea.
My pet rock, Seymour -- home for a month and bored because I haven't set the kitchen on fire -- wanted to edit this one. Overall, I reckon he handled the edit quite tackily...just the way I like 'em:
Subject: FEED A YAK, CREATE OZONE DEPLETION!!
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 2015 08:34:11 +0100
Dear Esteemed 'n Sautéed Boner of dubious genitalcedence,
Let me first of all acknowledge the fact that this email is unsolicited, but kindly allow me to crave your indulgence whilst I tarry off the deep end.
The Yak Chastity Is Ridiculous campaign is a group that comprises of drugged and hallucinating fauxthers from the St. Dude society and FauxSisters from the Genital Caeli convent who are dedicated to snorting hallucinogens in northern Nigeria. We’ve been involved in snorting hallucinagens since 2010 when the hallucinogens took a new dimension. We have since been benefiting from the depraved imaginations of the yak minority council of Nigeria, the Fraud foundation, the Pervert Friends of Hellary organization and other international sickos as well as a handful of idiot college students that are all about emotion and nothing about common sense.
But lately, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of intestinally disturbed yaks and those being catered for in our camps scattered across Niger republic and Chad both neighboring countries in the northern troubled region of Nigeria. This increase is as a result of the renewed campaign on msnbc and cnbc on creating mistrust of truth in reporting.
Meanwhile, yak chastity is going the way of integrity in the democrap party in the US.
If you have received this email please see it as a mark of privilege and you are directed to have yourself flogged so that college students can feel good about something other than their surrender to abject leftist stupidity.
Corporate organizations with a corporate policy of ignoring yak chastity seem to be in short supply. We also request that you be kind enough to help spread this message as our resources are going to help islamofascist "refugees" trash Sweden, Germany and soon parts of leftard-controlled USA. Please remember to mention when you fart in a full elevator that thanks to you, a glacier has fainted somewhere, and a polar bear is at this moment eating AlGore.
Please note that our contacting you was only made possible by an internet glitch we employed so as to be able to reach out to as many hopefully gullible college students as possible. Seems that lately only they are dumb enough to fall for this sh*t. Show them a picture of a starving zombie and they wet themselves seeking to throw out their college's president.
If you find this in anyway offensive kindly f**k off...we don't care. Offending idiots is reality.
There are still over six hundred thousand yaks yet to be reached, the International Yak Cross along with a few other organizations are also doing what they can but it is a far cry from what is required.
For further information on how you can donate and be a part of the work please kindly contact the following coordinators:
Rev. Fr. Francis Perez: firstname.lastname@example.org
With the strangest of regards,
Rev. Fr. Francis Perez
Project Head, Boner Expansion Program
For: Yaks Without Chastity Africa.
International Contact center (USA)
Central relief coordinating centre: 23, Simpson Street, Bookshop House, Lagos
Were I or Seymour college professors, we'd probably be getting demands that we apologize and resign.