Thursday, December 17, 2015

Not Playing Well With Scammers II

Anonymous knows how to screw with isis.

I know how to screw with scammers.

Take this stammering idiot of a scammer, Momoh Lawson who didn't like my character the first time around.  Now he gets to not like my second character, either.

Here's the entire exchange between "Lawson" and my character, with "Lawson" in bold and my character in italics:

Dear Friend,
How are you today,your family and your work/business? Believing that  the Almighty God is in control? There is no much problems regarding to  this than that i have been very busy attending to my official duties  and as well seeking for alternative arrangements which will we use and  get this fund that has been lyiang here unclaimed sent to you there in  your country without any hitches and obstructions along the way.
Reason is that i have found out that if we should continue following  the banking protocols and procedures due to their payment charges,it  will delay us very well and we might end up not getting this  transaction accomplished in due time because of different charges that  might come up in the process of transfering the funds.
Dear,i personally observed on my own that you were afraid and not  relaxed to come up fully and present yourself as the next of kin to my  late client(deceased)and as the bonefide beneficiary of this fund  which i contacted you to claim.I tried my very best to give you all
the convincions that it takes so that i wll back you up here with the  gathered informations that i know about the fund as i stands here as  your watch Dog but you fell to comply as directed/instructed either  because of the little charges from the bank based on the
administrative procedures or you were not too sure of what i contacted  you for or were seeing the whole thing as a dream.

Now,the good news is that i have finally succeeded in sealing a deal  by which the whole fund will be packaged in a consignment(Trunk  Box)and with a special Diplomatic arrangement, conveyed or delivered  to you in Either anywhere in, USA, CANADA, SPAIN,MALAYSIA,
possible,in your city to proove your thoughts wrong.This is as a  result of where the Diplomatic Service Courier Company is having the  Regional Deposit Centres(where their immunities covers or can take  them to). You can now see that i am a very honest and reliable person
for any reasonable beign to partner with because i never let go and  never allows my parts or roles to be messed up. 
The fear that i am having now is that,i do not know if you will betray
me at last when this fund gets to you as is coming through easier  means now that takes no much time.You meet with the Diplomats  immediately they arrive and contact you,claim the consignment from  them then take it to you house and start taking from it to deposit
into any bank of your choice by instalments until you save them all  and invite me to come down for sharing and investments in your country  as agreed from beginning..........what else?
Finally,in order no to waste any time from your side,all that i need  from you now is to see it that i have strived and laboured as a  man,you now indicate your full interest,choose from any of the  mentioned countries where you would want to receive it then assure me  of your honesty,transperency,reliability and utmost trust that you  will not confiscate or sit on the whole fund when it gets to you.You  assure me of your interest,wilingness and capability to claim/receive  the consignment from the Diplomatic Courier Service Company when they
arrive at any of your chosen country and contact you.In this  effect,reconfirm to me immediately any most confidential phone number  which they will contact you on when they arrive. 

As soon as i read from you favourably and urgently,i will then detail  you on the arrangements as i will conclude with them then give to you  their date of departure etc. Waiting to hear from you favourably and  urgently please.
Best Regards
Mr Momoh Lawson
Telephone No: +22893664679  
 I didn't order a broad.  Unless she looks like Taylor Swift...  

 am not joking and i really need your assistance as my partner, so let me know if you are ready to receive the diplomat and send the requested information ok  

Well if you're not joking then by all means, send your diplomat.  I don't have one at my back door.  

Do you think a diplomat will leave Africa to abroad without been sure of what is coming for, Let me know if you are capable of receiving the diplomat and aswell pay the delivering charge and the diplomat will start coming ok  

people leave Africa all the time.  Ever hear of Somalia?  Send your diplomat.  I can meet 'em and arrange some kind of somethin' er other.  

Since you are capable of paying the delivering charges upon the arrival of the diplomat, I will advice you send me your address and information as requested by the courier company so that i can submit it to the courier company to know if they can deliver the package to you in your address ok.  

I don't see any practical or geographical reason that your diplomatic courier service cannot deliver to my home address.  Unless they are incompetent.  

Thanks for your mail and understanding in this project, I receive your information as requested by the courier diplomatic company and i have submit it to them, I have paid them partial payment to enable them settle their cargo airflight and they will leave tomorrow morning to arrive United State on Sunday by the grace of God, So please you have to get their balance ready before the arrival of the diplomat because they will need it to clear the package from the airport authority and also pay for non inspection of the package for security reason ok.   

Have them contact me when they get here and I'll meet them at Denver International Airport with something good.  

The diplomat will be leaving this morning 9 am to arrive united state tomorrow as they will be on transit from Franch to US. upon the arrival of the diplomat as he call you kindly meet him and follow his instruction to make sure the package is clear and deliver to you ok (note that this communication started on 11-1-15; today's date is 11-10).  



He can call me at ***-3***-**** or email me here.  

ok, I have forward your information to their director so i hope the diplomat will arrive United state succesfully ok, so immediately you hear from him let me know and kindly follow the instruction of the diplomat to make sure everything work out fine ok.  

Soon as I hear from him we can work things out fine.  

Ok, hope the diplomat will be in US today, so please update me as you hear from him  

Awaiting notification of his arrival now.  


No word today.  Tomorrow perhaps?  

Thanks for your mail, This morning i will go straight to the office to ask their director what is going on because the diplomat supposed to arrive US yesterday as they where on transit from France to US.  Immediately you hear from him let me know ok.  

Still waiting to hear from him.  He did read that I said I'd meet him at Denver International Airport, right?  

Please don,t respond any message from nigeria because they are fraud star ok, The diplomat have to be in US today maybe something is wrong else were,so i will check with their director this morning ok.  

Where are YOU writing from?  

I am writing from Togo West Africa, from the capital city Lome Togo,
Did you hear from the diplomat? please update me immediately ok.  
Well that's fraud in Togo, eh?  Still no word.  I'm beginning to doubt that this diplomat is coming, if he even exists.  

Dear Brother, You don,t need to doubt ok, sometime when the road is block they have to wait and contact office to see that the way is clear before entry the country, as you know they are carrying inhe  

 Alright.  I will exercise patience, virtue and dry heaves and await his contact.   

Ok, Let us wait from now till tomorrow ok   

Reckon we'll have to. BTW, your courier better get here soonest, 'cuz there's a big snowstorm due in here Monday night. Might not be able to get in here until after Wednesday  

Ok, I will inform their director ok, Did you hear from the diplomat today,please update me ok.  

Still waiting. Is this on the clock?  He sure knows how to milk it.  Who approves his expense reports?

I hope everything will be okay today    

Where's your diplomat?   

Please you have to call the diplomat immediately on 2022777634  

‏ Dear Brother, Thanks for your mail, you are the cause of the delay for the diplomat ok, The diplomat director call me this morning and complain that their agent have arrived US since two days and he has called and a fax answer.            

 My number isn't a fax!  I don't even HAVE a fax machine!  Tell him to meet me on Thursday, November 19, at Denver International Airport.  He meets me there and I will have his fee in cash there.  But he MUST arrive sometime on Thursday, because I am traveling on the weekend for the holiday next week.  So tell him to make it.  Email me his flight into DIA and time of arrival.   

Dear Brother, Thanks for your mail, I have giving you the contact number of the diplomat to call him, please call him and arrange on how to meet each other because i am not happy about the delay ok.  

I called him three times and got the connection severed when it sounded like someone was answering the phone. Where is he? How do I meet him at the Denver International Airport if he isn't even in the friggin' country yet?    

 Please continue calling him until you get him on line because the diplomat is there in US ok  

  WHERE in the US is he? He won't do me any damned good if he isn't at Denver International Airport on Thursday, November 19. He needs to contact me with his flight information and arrival time. It will be too late on November 20; I am leaving for holiday then.  Impress upon him it's November 19 at DIA or bust.   

I just send your email id to the diplomat director so that he can give their agent to contact you since he complain that he can,t get you on phone and you also complain that you didn,t get the diplomat on the phone.  

  He has not responded by phone or email. Today...he has today.   

 I am tired for this delivering delay, I will call their director to call the diplomat back if nothing happen today or tomorrow  

 You're tired?  I've been waiting on this clown for a week or more.  What the hell is going on there, Momoh?  Is he going to show up here today or not? 

Before Momoh has a chance to reply, "Jack" gives him a specific location for the 'diplomat' to meet up with him:

Tell your diplomat that I will be waiting here at the Denver International Airport until it closes at 9pm tonight.
Caribou Coffee
Snacks & Sweet Treats
Grab & Go
Quick Serve
Less than $10
Daily, 5 a.m. - 9 p.m.
B Gates
(303) 342-8397      

Better tell your diplomat to hurry...I can only drink so much coffee.   

Thanks for your mail, Do you think the diplomat is my brother or he sleep with me? Every time you tell me tell your diplomat to call you or meet you, when i don,t have any contact with the diplomat, i only get information from their company director before informing you, the number i sent to you from the diplomat i call the number and it was working very fine and i talk with the diplomat, so i wonder why you say the number is incorrect.
This morning i have to contact their director to give me the email contact of the diplomat so that i can send it to you to contact him by email and both of you will talk on how to meet each other for the delivering ok.  
I don't know or care what your perverse relationship with the diplomat is, Momoh.  I only know I've been sitting in this coffee shop at DIA for hours, and the bumbling idiot hasn't contacted me or arrived here.  And time is running OUT.  THAT is what I know.  Good thing that the coffee doesn't suck.  

And after 19 days of back 'n forth, my character reaches the deadline he set and drops this on Momoh:

Okay, Momoh:  it's after 9pm my time.  The coffee shop is closed.  My caffeine fix is good until 2017.  My f***ing kidneys are floating and I have waited as long as I intend to short of a spchinter tsunami.  Your incestuous brother diplomat has not arrived or contacted me.  I told you today was it.  I am leaving tomorrow for the Thanksgiving holidays, and I won't be wasting any time communicating with people that don't mean what they say and do what they claim they'll do.  I've wasted 19 days of November on this.  Next time you talk to your idiot diplomat, tell him to head back to Togo...if the wayward bastard can find it.  Which I doubt. 

Ol' Momoh still isn't getting it:

Dear Brother, I still never hear from the diplomat, i must meet their director face to face today concerning this package ok,i will get back to you on my return.

Considering how inept and incompetent their diplomat was, I don't expect much to come from this.  But I'll give you one last chance.  Don't screw the pooch.  

Momoh is certainly persistent:

I have already tell the diplomat director that,if their diplomat can,t deliver the package they should return back the package to Africa so that i can look for another courier company that is strong to handle the delivering without fear, I am thinking maybe the diplomat is afraid of carrying the package into America to avoid money laundering case.
Let us give them from today till tomorrow and if nothing is done i will call the package back and arrange better diplomat with too much contact to avoaid fear ok.  
I'm out of town until Thursday night, so you get your chicken shit courier problem straightened out and contact me then.  

Momoh never got his chicken  sh** courier problem straightened out...


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Blogger Sandee said...

Around and around we go and get absolutely nowhere.

Have a fabulous day Mike. My best to Seymour. ☺

17 December, 2015 10:10  

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