Bad Scammer Meets Bad Santa

I sorta love when a scammer sends one of my characters an email that starts off with a prominently displayed 'WARNING'.

Like this one:


WARNING:

NO PART OR WHOLE OF THIS MESSAGE IS PERMITTED FOR TRANSFERENCE OR

REPRODUCTION AS IT IS THE SOLE PROPERTY OF BANK OF AFRICA ( B . O . A ),

OUAGADOUGOU- BURKINA FASO AND MUST BE FOR THE RIGHTFUL RECIPIENT ONLY. 

 

FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT

ATTENTION: MR. FLANK UNSEEN

 

 

                                                              DATE: 18 / 11 / 2015

 

Sir,  

 

We apologies for the delay of your payment and all the inconveniences we might have put you through, while we were having some minor problems with our payment system which in all case not meeting up with foreign payments, we apologies once again. from the records of outstanding funds due for payment with the federal government of Burkina Faso, your name and address was discovered as next on the list of the (2 outstanding beneficiary who have not yet received his/her Fund, west Africa commission and the western union foundation payments tenure of the previous administration in office please bear with us.

Meanwhile, a woman came to our bank yesterday with a letter, claiming to be your true representative and advice that we should send the total $13.3million usa direct to her nominated bank account. Here is her information below:

Name: Mrs. Anne Robinson
Country: Liberia
Bank name: Citibank.
Account number: 01547865241234

Please, do reconfirm to this office, as a matter of urgency if this woman is from you so that the federal government will not be held responsible for paying into the wrong account name if this woman is not your rep, you are requested to fill and send this information for verifications purposes so that your fund will be remitted to you through bank to bank transfer as we were advised by the central bank of Burkina Faso. Kindly re-confirm to me the followings:

1) Your full name
2) Receiving country
3) Company name, position and address.
4) Profession, age and marital status.
5) Working id/int'l passport.
6) Phone, fax and mobile

As soon as this information’s is received, your payment will be made to you directly via the central bank agent. This is the third quarter payment of the year. However; we shall proceed to issue all payments details to the said Mrs.Anne Robinson from Liberia, if we do not hear from you within the next three working days from today. We are sorry for any inconvenience, transferring of your fund must have caused you allot.

 

Yours Sincerely,

Dr. Mohammed Ousmane Mohammed

 

MD, FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT

BANK OF AFRICA ( B . O . A )

Office Address: 03 BP 115 Avenue Yennenga
Ouaga 03 Ouagadougou. Burkna Faso.
Tel / Fax: +226-74-27-37-70

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Integration of a new bank,Since January 13Th, 2014.  The Banque de Credit de Bujumbura (BCB) is the 11Th bank subsidiary of the BOA Group.

 **********************************************************************************************  


My reply was typical of my character who was, at the time, filled with sentiments of the season, enhanced by a snow storm:


I'll reproduce any part of this f***ing message in any manner I want, any venue I want, any language I want, and share it with whoever the f*** I want.  And there's not one F***ING THING you can do about it.  

That apparently left them speechless, as all I received was  a blank email reply.

Guess they didn't know that Santa could be THAT bad...