Smart Meets Smart Ass

This scammer is wondering why he didn't think up this scam first.

Probably a lot of reasons, including intellectual dysfunction, but I digress.

Here's a cute one allegedly from the Far East:


Dear sir,
We are Smart Ring manufacturer, which specializes in this field for years. Our products
are with good quality and reasonable prices. Just to visit our website below, believe you
will like our products.
Any inquiry are welcome!

Best regards,
Mandy

Jakcom Technology Co., Ltd.      Focusing the ---Smart Wearable---
Website:  www.imtimer.com
Add.: No.26 Shuangta Street, Taiyuan City, China
Tel.:+86 0351 4858575
Fax:+86 0351 4383818
Cell Phone: +86 18434308746
E-mail: mandy@imtimer.com
Skype: mandy86111314  


Even without input from the pet rock, Seymour, I could see where this edit was headed:

Dear sir, We are Smart Ass Ring manufacturer, which specializes in this field for years. Our Smart Ass Ring products are of dubious quality, work spottily, insult about anyone at any given moment or event, are guaranteed 100% politically incorrect, are NOT endorsed by the Demoncrapic Nincompoop Committee (Debbil Washingmachine Snitz, chairpoison)   or the hashtag queen Marie Barf   and are unreasonably priced higher than iwatches, ipens, ipods, itoiletpaper, ipricks and other igenitals.  Just to visit our website below and you'll want to scrub your eyes with Brillo pads to remove the images you see therein, as we also dabble in Chinese pornography with goats, chickens and pandas in most compromising positions with Chinese political leaders and Anthony Weiner.  If you're a full blowd perv, we believe you'll know what we just did there and will like our products.  Any inquiry about where we're hiding hellary's emails and compromising photos of her doing yaks are welcome! Best regards, Mandy Jakkinoff Technology Customers World Wide UnLtd.       Add.: No.26 Shuangta Street, Taiyuan City, China Tel.:+86 0351 4858575 Fax:+86 0351 4383818 Cell Phone: +86 18434308746 E-mail: mandy@imtimer.com

The response from the scammer was gratifying:

don't ever contact me again.  


Which means that you know I hadda:


You contacted me first.  It was only fitting that I respond in a manure that met you half way from the scam hole you were writing from.  No need to thank me; I know you appreciate the return of the level of courtesy you intended to deliver.


I don't reckon I'll get another chance to buy a 'smart ring', eh?  ;-)