If At First They Don't Read It
The online loan scamstress Clara Smith shoulda, coulda and woulda, but she was too busy drying out her knickers after wetting herself in abject joy that my character responded to her email.
She just didn't pay attention to how my character responded, even though she said the email was "well noted and understood".
Here was the very beginning of her opening ploy:
We are Christian Organization formed to help people in needs
of helps,such as financial help.
The *TOING* reverberated around the neighborhood.
Thus, a quick edit in reply:
We are cross between an atheist and Jehovah Witness organization,
So if you are going through some kind of personal crisis in your
obtain understanding of why we sent you this email? Some of
firstname.lastname@example.org for the JW bible says nothing;
By any other name, Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever
more on the JW side, while the atheists mispronounce his name
What You Last Had Sex With;
If Atheist, When Having Sex Do You Say "Oh Nobody!" over and over again:
Loan Amount You Had Sex With:
Loan Duration Of The Sex You Had Widdit:
PURPOSE OF LOAN SEX;
Valid Cell Phone Number (if you answered all the other questions, we definitely want speaks with you):
Thanks for your understanding to your contact as we Await
us and content there in is well noted and understood (LMAO!!!).
I am Mrs Clara Smith,A financier loan lender" the Managing director of
Loan Solution,i am willing to lend out loans with the interest rate of
3%, We offer loans to commercial and private bodies ranging from
$5,000 to the maximum of $8,000,000 within the periods of 1 to 25
years, We offer loan at low interest rate and with no credit check, we
offer Personal loans, debt consolidation loans, venture capital,
business loans, education loans, home loans or "loans for any
reason!However, Our method, offers you the chance to state the amount
of loan needed and also the duration you can afford, We are well
certified and registered, Our loans are well insured for maximum
security which is our great priority,
We do use the bank transfer in sending loans to our various clients
and it will take the maximum period of 12 working HOURS and you are
well guaranteed of getting funded, If you are interested, kindly fill
out the Borrower's Loan Application and send it back to us for further
Borrower Information (Required information fields appear in bold).
Loan Amount Requested:
We hope to hear from you soon.
Mrs Clara Smith