Saturday, February 28, 2015

Blessed Be The Scammed

Not all nuns are alike.  While all have habits, not all have armaments.

Sister Elizabeth Sinbi -- aptly named as you'll see -- chooses the weapon of tugging at heart strings.

Witness now her email, and imagine it to the tune of the sad violin solo from Young Frankenstein


Greetings From Sister Elizabeth  Sinbi,

With Due Respect And Humanity, I was compelled to write to you under a humanitarian ground.

My name is Mrs Elizabeth Sinbi, I  married to Mr.Isaac Sinbi who work with Petroci.We were married for 36 years without a child. My late Husband died after a Cadiac Arteries Operation. Recently am sick And My Doctor told me that I will not last for the next six months due to my cancer problem (cancer of the lever and stroke).

Before my husband died he deposited the sum  $2.5 Million Us Dollars in the the security Company. Presently this money is still in the Vault of the Company.Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to any God fearing person that will utilize this fund the way I am going to instruct herein.

I want somebody that will use this fund according to the desire of my late.husband to help Lessprivilaged peoples, orphanages,widows and propagating the word of God.I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this fund, And I don’t want in away where this money will be used in an unGodly ways.This is why I am taking this decision to donate this Fund for the helping of the needies in the society.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.I want you to always remember me in your daily prayers because of my up coming Cancer Surgery Operation.Write back as soon as possible any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another person for this same purpose, Hoping to read from you asap.

God bless you as you listing to the voice of reasoning. I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply .

Remain blessed in the Lord.
Your's Sister In the Lord

Sister Elizabeth Sinbi.   


Finding the (not so) good Sister to be a bit bland with a very cyber road worn scam template, I chose something a bit less habit forming *ducking boos and throwd confessionals*:


Greetings From The Late Sister Elizabeth  Sinbi,

With Due Respect And Humanity, I was compelled to write to you under a humanitarian ground.  So I am writing to you from underneath a cemetery in Georgetown.

My name is the late Sister Mrs Elizabeth Sinbi.  Before I became late and a sister, I married Herr Glockenspiel Vienerschnitzel, who work with Petroci Edible Feces Company in Washington, DC.  We rented office space in the Democrap National Committee building because they were every bit as good at creating feces as we were.  We just weren't able to make their sh** edible no matter what we did to it.  Take obolascare for example...no one can digest that sh**. 
Anyway, we were married for 36 years without a child because before we got married, I was a transgendered manatee named Wet Willie. My late Husband died after a Cadiac Arrest when he find that out.  Then I become sister in the Hash'n'beans Order of Sisters Of the Holy Cow, of which Nancy Pelosi is an excommunicated member for trying to botox her genitals. 
Then My Doctor told me that I will not last long for due to my cancer problem, both cancer of my liberal ideology and cancer of the lever and stroke.  Ever had cancer of the lever, let alone stroke?  Man, it suck worse than Bill Clinton on a vaginally humidored cigar.

Before my husband died he suffered from genital cramps of the earwax canal.  He made it into a record book for that and was going to do the Renaissance Summer Tour with Puke 'n Snot before he died.  We figured he might make the sum  $2.50 in West African francs. Presently this money is still in the Vault with him, because he insisted he take it with him.  I write him a check and slip it in his coffin.
I such a Sheila Jackson Lee. 

I want somebody that will use this fund according to the desire of a drug crazed UCLA student who drummed with me in a Occupy Nothing Useful campsite in 2012.  I don't know how many burkahs $2.50 in West African francs will buy, but if it saves only one hamster, isn't it worth it?  This is why I am taking this decision to donate this Fund for the helping of the useless, the nuns and organs in the society.

I am not afraid of farts in elevators, hence I know where I am going, give or take a floor.  I want you to always remember me in your daily bowel movements as the sick broad what wrote you from underneath a cemetery in Georgetown.  You listing to the voice of reasoning?  Good.  Let me know who that voice is please. Hoping to receive your reply .

Remain blessed in the toilet through which progressives get their ideas.
Late Sister Elizabeth Sinbi.  
 
 
As might be expected, I received nun reply from the late Sister....

 


 

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

So I am writing to you from underneath a cemetery in Georgetown. I just knew something snarky was about to happen when I read her opening paragraph.

Have a fabulous day and weekend. My best to my buddy Seymour. ☺

28 February, 2015 10:02  

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