Sunday, October 26, 2014

More Loans 'n Moans

The picture here is where online loans begin. 

When they are received here, this is where they end.  Granted, the volume of these out there is such that it's obvious the online loan scam still works with some really low information sorts.  And always ends badly for anyone stupid enough to think a bunch of Nigerians -- or anyone else in West Africa -- has millions to loan at cheap interest.

Though my pet rock, Seymour, thinks he can find a legitimate loan there.

"Do NOT!!!"

Of late, the loan scammers have been leaving comments at the blog, posting both fauxtestimonials from "satisfied clients" in the hopes of convincing those of you who visit here to be their next victim, as well as outright advertisements for their own loan scam.

And of course, I am all about fairness...I edit both and share them with a variety of loan scammers.

My pet rock says that proves that I am NOT fair. 

Seymour is right.

Take the latest online loan scammer for instance...here's what he placed on my blog in comments on another of my scambaits:


We give loan to private company and individuals. You can find
some vital information about the loan we offer below. In getting a
loan from our company, there are some information we need to pass
across to you before we can proceed to the application process . And
the Borrowers are to get back to me on this information so that will
can Proceed on time okay..

INTEREST RATE: In the loan we offer, we do charge 2% Interest rate.

AMOUNT GIVEN: We Give Out A Minimum Amount Of $5,000.00 to A Maximum
of $100,000.000

INFORMATION NEEDED: As for the information needed, you will need to
fill an application which contains your personal information and also
the loan information,

HOW DO I APPLY? Please fill this application form below:

LOAN APPLICATION FORM
Full Name:....................
Country:.....................
State:..............
City:...........
Sex:....................
Phone No:...........
Loan Amount :............
Loan Duration:.................
Have You Applied Before?......................
Monthly income:.......................
..............
Occupation:................... ...........
Duration Of Loan.......................... ...........  
 
So that's what it looked like when the scammer sent it.  Here's what it looked like after I got done widdit:
 
 
We give genital lyposuction to private company and individuals.
Yes, we does that.  You can find some vital information about the loan
we offer below. Not truthful information, but vital in so far as it relates
to the scam we're running.
In getting a loan from our company, there are some informations we need
to obfuscate before we can proceed to the application process. And
the Borrowers are to get back to me on this information so that will
can Proceed on time okay.  Because Ogun say time is funny.

I don't think Ogun read that right, but everyone afraid of Ogun so no one
correct him.

INTEREST RATE: In the loan we offer, we do charge 2% Interest rate, compounded
hourly in West African francs.  We gotta get toilet paper from somewhere.

AMOUNT GIVEN: We Give Out A Minimum Amount Of $5,000.00 to A Maximum
of $100,000.000.  We actually ain't got that to loan, but what the f**k does we care
once you pay our fees?

INFORMATION NEEDED: As for the information needed, you will need to
fill an application which contains your personal information and also
the loan information.  Fill this out as if you expect to get a loan from us.

HOW DO I APPLY?   Bend over and get it right from us.  Hooba dooba.

FAUX LOAN APPLICATION FORM
Full Name:....................
Country:.....................
State:..............
City:...........
Sex:....................
What You Last Has Sex With:................
Was It Gooder Than Say, Sodomy With Porcupine:..........................
Phone No:...........
Loan Amount :............
Loan Duration:.................
Have You Applied Before?*......................
Monthly income:.......................
..............
Occupation:................... ...........
Duration Of Loan**.......................... ...........

*  if you have, then you already know our scam and *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER* you are disqualifried.
**  we already asked that, but we are Third World attention deficit disodored...  
 
 
I'm sure that sooner or later some scam legal firm will contact me about my unfair "giving the business" practices with the scammers.  I have edits ready for that, too...


 

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3 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

It's amazing to me that there are people out there that actually fall for these scams. Must be democrats.

Have a fabulous day. My best to Seymour. ☺

26 October, 2014 09:22  
Anonymous Debbie said...

Some of those fauxtestimonials from "satisfied clients" are easy to spot, some not so easy.

I know you are the expert.

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

27 October, 2014 07:50  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am Mr.Smith Laurels, an illegitimate bastard son of a

wildebeest inseminator here in obola-plagued West

Africa. Personally, I would abort me if I were my

parents, but since I'm not, I want to abort your

finances into my pockets.




My modus oprahwinfrey is under the guise of

me playing a respectable online loan lender.




Yeah, right: like anyone with three working brain

cells believes someone in West Africa has

millions of dollars to lend to total fucking strangers.




So my first requirement is that you must have only

two working brain cells.




Have you been looking for loan? Where have you

looked? Under the toilet seat? Waste of time here;

we don't know what toilets are. Did you look in the

seat cushions of your sofa? You won't find your

virginity there either.




What you need is to take your two working brain

cells and email me here at Address : smithlaurelsloancompany@gmail.com


INFORMANTION NEEDED FROM YOU

(while I needs me a good smellchecker)..
Full Names............
Count trees and tell me how manys.............
State of your mind (if more than two brain cells you can't apply)..............
Last time you had Sex with guacamole.............
Age you first knew what sex with guacamole was.............
Home address..............
Personal Phone number.............
Home Phone Number..............
Monthly Income.............
Loan Amount Needed.............
Loan Duration..................


31 October, 2014 00:37  

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