Friday, May 30, 2014

My Pet Rock Is Losing It

Why the picture of an Oktoberfest yodeler?

Ask my pet rock, Seymour.

First off, he gets an email from a scammer named Peter Lammas.

No relation to Fernando.

We think.

Then we find that Peter claims to represent a well-monied client who wants our help to incest -- yes, that's what the email actually said -- in farm development property, industry or entertainment.

I'm not sure whose *TOING* was louder.

"Mine was!!!"

Okay, Seymour says his was. 

At any rate, here's what Seymour -- in "pet rock gone edit wild" mode -- done to his email:


On Thursday, April 24, 2014 7:29 PM, Mr. Peter Lammas <peterlammas02@yahoo.co.jp> didn't know that he wrote:

Hello.
I am Mr.Peter Lammas,  i run a business consultancy firm in Lagos, Nigeria.  I wanted to run one in London, UK, but I was deported for engaging in sex with illegally trafficked wombats.


I have a client who wants to collect whatever he can from in your country, so I am hoping you're a low information moron.


It is my hope to find a few low information morons who will believe whatever I tell them so that I can get them to incest what little money they have -- when it hasn't gone for drugs, Ripple and evening bingo -- and incest into income producing properties like - urban decay (I have Deadtroit and large tracts of Kaliforlornia in mind) , manufacturing counterfeit food stamps industry in and around your Country, and however far incesting in the entertainment industry in your Country can go.
 
Look what it do for Rachal Madcow and Joy Behar. 

However, it will be more welcome if on your own, you have in mind a good business that can be profit oriented -- like trafficking in African perverts having sex with wombats pornography -- and I will be happier to consider incesting in myself with you as head manager.  After all, someone needs to clean the toilets, and I figure it should be someone who knows how one works.  None of us here do.

If I get your reply for considerations I will give more details to enable us proceed.  Please include your telephone number in your reply.  I get lonely.

Peterlammas
a former yodeling contestant on American Idol from what's left of Dearborn
Pls reply to my private email address:
email:
peterlammas02@yahoo.co.jp
+44-44-7937141708  
 
 
Seymour didn't hear back from the Lammas feller, but once again, a prior scammer who's email address remains working, expressed himself about receiving these edits:
 
STOP THIS EMAILS DAM YOU!!! 
 
That confused Seymour, guaranteeing that he'd be bound to ask for clarification:
 
Begging your pardon, but if you dam me, that just prevents water from running through me.  If you saw me, you'd see the second part of your email request is a waste of time.  In any event, it won't accomplish the first part of your email request.  Just saying.  Would you care to clarify more furtherer? 
 
 
For now, that former scammer chose not to clarify more furtherer.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Seymour does these edits very well. He's a very smart rock though. I really liked his final response... Begging your pardon, but if you dam me, that just prevents water from running through me. If you saw me, you'd see the second part of your email request is a waste of time. In any event, it won't accomplish the first part of your email request. Just saying. Would you care to clarify more furtherer?

Have a fabulous day and weekend. My best to Seymour. ☺

30 May, 2014 09:51  
Anonymous Debbie said...

I can't stand Joy Behar, loud mouth, obnoxious. And Rachael Madcow is poster child for a generic human, she has a twin on one of those channels (male) but he looks just like her.

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

30 May, 2014 15:25  

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