It's Mandela's Turn -- III

Okay...so you saw the opening gambit of the one and probably not only  Barrister.Sanin Raqza Raymond. Esq., as regards his effort to scam in the name of the late Marxist Nelson Mandela.

And you saw what I dun to it.

And you saw how he responded to what I dun to it (by not reading it at all).

So, what was I left to do with his empty-headed assumption that I'd accepted his offer to give me the business?

Edit it some mores:

Dear Sir,
I thank my enlarged prostrate that I choosed you to assist me on this project because I am illiterate, cannot read, and have butt polyps in my sinus passages, which cause me to wet myself when I sneeze. 

From your edited response of my original email, it remind me of song I once sort of plagiarize...I can see by your outfit, that you are a cowboy...you see by my outfit I am a cowboy too...we see by our outfits, that we are both cowboys...if you get an outfit you can be a cowboy too....

I make gold record with that song, yes?

Since I not read goodest your reply to me first times, I can see that you are an honest and intelligent person that has the genuiness to help me at heart, by having my anus surgically exchanged with my esophagus after I am drunk from too much jungle juice at a Nigerian 419 convention in Lagos.

So here's what I had in mind, before IT was surgically exchanged with my colon:

- The money is deposited in a cleft of an dysenteric elephant's butt in Rwanda and thats on my first priority to have someone with long gloves try to remove it and not get pooped or stomped in the process, as that is safer for both of us.

-The total deposited money is $21 in useless West African francs, also knowd locally as toilet paper to the primates hereabouts.  

-I will always need you to assist me in proofreading my emails because I has no ideas what any of this shit says.  I am only fluent in butt cheek fart reading, and there is not high demand for this unique skill, which I am sure you didn't know befores I tell you this.

 

-My reason for axing you for the vital informations from you such as your contact address,direct telephone and fax numbers as well as a valid identity is to enable me to have someone I know who can walk and chew meerkat nuts at the same time to prepare something of an agreement that both of us will sign -- me with my fake name, you with your reals one cuz this won't works if you are as much a douche nozzle as I ams -- so that there will be no betrayal that isn't intended in the first of places, by the place and show of the second and third places, if I understand zebra racing at Pimlico, a suburb of Lagos.

-25% of the last paragraph makes no senses to me.

-My commitments will be to furnish you with all the relevant bullshevik to ensure that you are able to figure out what I am try to do heres before I am able to do heres what I am trying to figure out to do heres.  I think.  Can you proofs that for me and tell me if it made to you senses?

-65% of that paragraph -- I think this is a long necked animal that jump from planes, which to me is not making of senses -- is even worser than the 25% one.

-There must be an agreement duly signed by both of us before I can proceeds to figure out what I ams to do here next, or nexter, because I am kindergarten drop out from Detroit.

I have suffered so much on this and will not alow anyone to take it away from me just like that,I hope you understand what I mean sir?  If you don't, then we both in troubles.

Do furnish me with the needed informations,so that we can proceed without delay as I want this done as soon as possible,so that I can get my wife and her family the new DVD movie "Transfarmers III" from that suckass movie director with the purloined name.
I await your mail and the informations today.

Your full real name because your full fake name is not going to help me help myself to your moneys:
Your Phone:
Your address...no, I didn't mean to call you a dress, I am axing for where you lives in:
Your City:
State / Province:
Country:
Fax Number:
Date of Birth, unless you was hatched then I don't think it matters much:
your Account Number :
Send me a scammed copy of your identifications:


My regards to your flushing toilet...I hopes to see one work one days,
Barrister.Sanin Raqza Raymond. Esq.   attonyandy112@hotmail.com  

 

 

It appears that this time, whatever his name is bothered to read a bit more closely my reply/edit to his email:

 

 

u are not good man. 

 

That's okay..I get by.  You? 

 

 

I guess he didn't want to explore that notion further....oh well  ;-)