It's Mandela's Turn -- II

Okay...last week I showed you how this goof ball Sanin Raqza Raymond -- aka attony andy -- is trying to scam and cash in on a dead mandela.  As a reminder, here's a piece of his opening ploy:

Dear Friend,

My names are Mr. Sanin Raqza Raymond .  LL.B, Attorney-at-Law and Legal Adviser. Am a close Legal Consultant to the Family of late Nelson Mandela South Africa President . Am a senior Attorney in Tumi Law Firm based in South Africa. 

I know this Email_ (Attonyandy114@hotmail.com) will come to you as a surprise as we have never met before, but you need not to worry as I am using the only secured and confidential medium available to seek for your foreign assistance in a business. 

 

 

And here is a piece of what I dun to his opening ploy:

 

 

My names are Mr. Sanin Raqza Raymond.  I have more, but I can't remember them just now.  Senility sucks.  Anyway, I am a janitor at an LLBean store in Johannesburg, South Africa.  However, taking a computer correspondence course from the Lagos Nigeria University of Schmuckery, I am getting a degree to be an Attorney-at-Law and Legal Adviser, as soon as I raise the $19.95 for the certificate.  With this forgotten, I am here to claim to be a close Legal Consultant to the Family of late Nelson Mandela South Africa President. I'm only the 4998th person to make this claim via email since the old communist died, but eh...mine is by far the best written of all of them.  I oughta know, because I know the dumb ass who's crafting the other emails.  He sodomizes termite-infested tree stumps in Burundi.  So...being the only senior Attorney in Tumi Law Firm based in South Africa that you'll ever need, here is my email address for your anticipated reply:  Attonyandy114@hotmail.com.  Get back to me soonest, because I don't know how long I can keep this rented computer and the water buffalo hooked to a generator that powers it.  I think I have to return it by next Friday. 

 

 

Now, this went back to him as a reply.  So a few days later, guess what I receive back from him:

 

 

Dear Sir,

I thank God that I choosed you to assist me on this project because from your enquiries,I can see that you are an honest and intelligent person that has the genuiness to help me at heart.
- The money is deposited in a bank in the carribean and thats on my first mail to you,it will be a bank to bank transfer as that is safer for both of us.
-The total deposited money is $21,000,000,000,00 i.e Twenty one million United States Dollars.
-I will always need you to assist me in investing the funds into viable and profitable business ventures in your country as I will be coming over to join you as soon as the funds is transfered into your bank account and that too is on my first mail to you.
-My reason for needing those vital informations from you such as your contact address,direct telephone and fax numbers as well as a valid identity is to enable me prepare an agreement that both of us will sign,so that there will be no betrayal of trust after the funds gets to your bank account.
-25% of the funds will be yours after transfer for your assistance and loyalty and your commitments will be for you to stand by me through out the transfer process and investments proper.
-My commitments will be to furnish you with all the relevant details and documents to ensure that you are able to transfer the funds without hassles and note that 10% of the funds will go for covering any expenses that we may incur in the course of the transfer and that also is on my first mail to you.
-65% of the funds will be mine after the transfer of the funds.
-There must be an agreement and an M.O.U. duly signed by both of us before the transfer is effected to avoid betrayal of trust as I have suffered so much on this and will not alow anyone to take it away from me just like that,I hope you understand what I mean sir?.
Sir,I will count on your years and experience in this field to guide us through this transfer smoothly.
Do furnish me with the needed informations,so that we can proceed without delay as I want this done as soon as possible,so that I can move over to your country to join you.
I await your mail and the informations today.

Your full name:
Your Phone:
Your address:
Your City:
State / Province:
Country:
Fax Number:
Date of Birth:
your Account Number :
Send me a scanned copy of your identification:

Regards to your family,
Barrister.Sanin Raqza Raymond. Esq.  

 

 

Next time, you'll see how I chose to respond to this rocket scientist of the dim bulb sect...