Insure This

"When they're dead, they're dead, right?  Why take it out on the radio?" -- Peter Falk, Anzio 

Makes sense to me.

So when I checked my email spam file recently, I found this email awaiting my perusal:


Burial Insurance... Have Peace of Mind
Burials are Expensive.... Protect yourself against this final cost.  

Of course, I know what they mean.  But I was in a literal mood, and wrote back to the email spammer:


When you're dead you're dead, right?  What peace of mind comes into play when you're dead?  And why do you have to "protect yourself against this final cost", when you won't be around to have to pay it?  Last I checked, the IRS isn't yet capable of digging up corpses and shaking them down for campaign contributions for Obozo.

And -- let's just say as an example, since examples and devils advocates are all around us on the Sunday talk shows -- the decedent wasn't buried?  Let's say they're kept in cold storage in Nederland, CO?  Or cremated?  Or stuffed and mounted in the living room -- to me, a fine ironic touch -- or they're cast in wax and sold to the wax museum in Califorlornia?

What good is your insurance at that point?  Hmmmmmm?

What good would MY getting this policy be to my pet rock, Seymour?  Since he's a rock, he'll never die.  But one day I must.  Would my getting this policy benefit my pet rock?  If so, how?

Here's your chance to do what you appear to be trying to do here:  sell a product.  You sell me on this with the last question posed, and you will prove yourself a most adept salesperson, indeed.

Go ahead...make my sale.

I don't really expect a reply, of corpse....*ducking boos and throwd burial plot accouterments*