ATM Cards Can Do So Much

Well...this MIGHT be happening in Canada.  But with more liberalized pot laws in Colorado, I think it more likely in Nederland.

And I digress.

'Tis the time of year for scammers to ramp up their ATM card scams.  Oh yes.  They need our gullibility this time of year.

Their hootchy mamas need new shoes.

So I get me one of these:

Attention: ATM Card Beneficiary,

I wish to use this medium to inform you that your CONTRACT/INHERITANCE Payment of (US$4.5) Four Million Five hundred thousand US  dollars only from ASIA have been RELEASED and APPROVED for onward Transfer to you through an ATM CARD after our meeting with United Nations and International monetary fund (IMF)which you will use to withdraw all the US$3.5Million United States Dollars in any ATM SERVICE MACHINE in any part of the world,But the maximum amount you can withdraw daily is the sum of USD$5,000.00 only.

We the board of trustees of United Nations/IMF have also mandated the British Government designated bank to send your ATM CARD and PIN NUMBER to you which you will use to withdraw all your USD$3.5Million in any ATM SERVICE MACHINE in any part of the world. You are therefore advised to contact the DIRECTOR OF ATM CARD  OPERATIONS in U.K with the information stated below:  ppsmith1221@sify.com

CONTACT PERSON: Dr Peter Smith, THE DIRECTOR OF ATM CARD OPERATIONS, EMAIL address : ppsmith1221@sify.com  


Small wonder that the moose is smiling.  Or just high.

At any rate, I didn't really have a lot of time for this particular scammer's being full of it.  Then again, after the *TOING* that last reaction generated, I figured I could make use of it accordingly.  Thus:

Attention: ATM Card Beneficiary,

I wish to use this extra large to inform you that all of our new ATM cards were issued CONSTIPATED.  We are most mortified by this.  How may you ask can an ATM card be CONSTIPATED?

 

Exactly what we're asking our ATM card supplier.

 

We won't rest until this is answered.  Or by siesta time, whichever comes first.

We the board of trustees of United Nations/IMF have also mandated that the British Government answer the question HOW CAN AN ATM CARD BE CONSTIPATED?  We were going to ask the US Government this same thing, but one look at Hillary Clinton explains how ATM cards in the USA can become CONSTIPATED.

 

When you are ready to inquire as to why and how an ATM card could be issued CONSTIPATED for any reason, please to CONTACT PERSON: Dr Peter Smith, THE DIRECTOR OF CONSTIPATED ATM CARD OPERATIONS, EMAIL address : ppsmith1221@sify.com

We wish to use this opportunity to express our sincere apology over your plight in the past years with our CONSTIPATED ATM CARDS, and we wish to assure you of prompt efforts on our part to remedy this situation as soonest as it is our ability to figure out how to UNCONSTIPATE your ATM card.

We tried squeezing it....doesn't work.  But we're still working on it.

 

Thanking you in advance for your anticipated patience.


ATM CONSTIPATION DEPARTMENT
UNITED NATIONS
UNITED KINGDOM

DNC HQ

No response from the scammer so far, and the only response from the DNC is to have the IRS see if I'm a Tea Party member...