Seymour Told Me To...

Okay...so I, who scambaits and annoys scammers, gets talked into calling the Butterball Hotline (1-800-288-8372), to ask an elemental question about turkey preparation.  By my pet rock, Seymour.

I don't think the type of turkey prep I asked about was what they've been trained to respond to.  I don't think Seymour had it in mind, either.

It went like this:

*after the recorded prompt and the pressage of 3*
Them:  Butterball Help line.  How can I help you?

Me:  I was wondering, how does one go about preparing a turkey that is clueless what it's about to be stuffed with?

Them:  Excuse me, sir?

Me:  I mean, do you tell the turkey to close it's eyes, turn around and bend over, and it'll get something good proctologically?

Them:  Very funny sir.  *Click*

I found that to be no help at all.

Good thing I ain't setting the kitchen ablaze on Thanksgiving, huh?

Oh and yes:  Seymour -- the pet rock what prompted me to make that call -- denies he knows me.  Probably a good thing..