Macy Or Macy Not...

My pet rock, Seymour -- still vacationing in bucolic Arkansas -- finds time to read headlines.

He insists there isn't much else to do there.

And he came across an article that yet another float in the Macy's Day parade is upsetting the Left.  Of course, we all know that it's easy to make ANYTHING that'll find a way to upset the Left.  That seems to be what they live for:  being upset, so they can try to regulate something else.

At any rate, they're choosing to wet themselves over a float that has to do with Sea World.

Seymour decided to have some edit 'fun' with it, and make it more relevant to contemporary issues:



Macy's Thanksgiving parade error code 404 in hellthscare flap:


NEW YAWHK (nyt) — Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade thought they had it bad when PETA and Arec Bardwin got on them about a Shamu float.  

Well, it just got worse for Macy's:  Kathleen Sebelius and Nancy Pelosi are mad now, too.

Seems that Macy's was ordered to have an ObamaCare float inserted into the parade, the centerpiece of which was a working ACA call center aboard the float, actually taking calls and signing people up for ObamaCare.

And now they'll have to fake the whole thing like a Hillary Clinton orgasm.

The ObamaCare float flap threatens to undermine the recent statements made by Sebelius and Pelosi that ObamaCare and its website works.  Never mind that those statements are already undermined by facts; it's the "fluff impression" to the low information masses that the left is worried about, and not the image damage to all the good IT programmers who actually know what they're doing that matters to these people" said a spokesperson for Alliance Defending IT Persons Who Had Nothing To Do With The ACA Webslight Debacle.

"The float has never worked any better than the law or the website" Deadtroit-based ADITPWHNTDWTACAWD asserted.  Still, insists parade spokesperson Lamey Kruella, the float will remain in the parade.  "Our goal is to entertain, and watching a half-dozen call site operators pounding frustratedly on their keyboards and going through constant reboots of their systems, while being called everything but conservative by equally frustrated callers, well...that's entertainment" Kruella said.

Equally entertaining will be the big screen montage of recorded statements by Sebelius and Pelosi, looped to play over and over again, asserting that everything's fine when even their body defecations know otherwise.

WH spokespuke Jay CON Carnage denies that the float will be entertaining because the website doesn't work.  When asked to elaborate, he faked a sphincter spasm and ended the press conference with a video about Bobo the Clown in a policy debate with Joe Bidumb.

No one at the WH or with the DNC would explain why public opinion was 3-1 in favor of Bobo.


Of course, Seymour is claiming plausible deniability if this edit offends anyone.