Friday, November 22, 2013

Do They Really Say That?

I reckon that after he sees what I dun to his email, Ma, what the picture says is most likely.

You wouldn't think that a member of the Muzzie Bro'hood would send an email to ME, asking for my hep with a scam he wants to perpetrate on me.

Well okay, so you might think he'd do that.

Like so many other scammers, he don' know me vewy well, DO he?

Anyway, it was drivel about the Muzzie Bro'hood, and how their prez was tossed in July, and how there's this millions of dollars in money that was to go for buying them suicide vests or truck loads of Twinkies, whichever they could order first.  And of course, HE wanted it to go to HIM, with MY help, for a piece of the action.

The part that goes financially KABLOOEY in my wallet, of course.

Instead, I treated him to an off-the-top-of-my-head-at-4am edit.  For those who think they know me or have been around me at that's a strange place to be.

This edit will leave you with little doubt of that:

Good day if you like cous cous and camels,
I am Mr. Adamu Yazid Ackbar Achmed Ackphooey, the AckDC to Mr. Ammar Ackbar Achmed Ackphooey Mohammed, the son of Mr Mohammed Ackbar Achmed Ackphooey Badie, tail of the Muzzie 'hood here in Egypt.  Please this mail should be kept secret on accounta cuz Barrycades Hussein Soetero had his lackey wench, Valarie Jarrett, write it.  Mr Ammar was killed by a flying monkey after the removal of fecal-stained president of Egypt Morsi on 3rd July 2013.  You're probably wondering how a flying monkey could do that, and what relation the flying monkey had to Morsi.  Well in this neck of the weirds, nothing is too out of the ordin-dairy cowadays.  Heck, we had a Yugo recently killed by a crocodile vulture poop from 6,000 feet.  Them crocodile vultures are pretty gnarly birds.
Any weights and measures, I was axed by Kathleen Sebelius to transfer 10 million of our population to the ACA website, so that they could pump up the numbers and make it look like it was working.  Well, that idea went phffffffffffffft when the first of us tried to log on, and it couldn't read Egyptidoanian, which isn't our official language, but some smart ass in the Ministry of Ackphooey thought that perhaps the word association process was worthy of a something more than a lousy dirka dirka. 
While I'm off the subject, would you assholes quit thinking that all of us over here say "Dirka dirka", just because that stupid puppet movie had all of us over here saying "dirka dirka"?  I mean, what the dirka dirka is up with that?
Anyway, I had to report to Sebelius that her stupid useless ACA site wasn't worth one camel genital wart, which upset her so much she's now having a sex change operation and wants to look like Ed Schultz, so no one will know her.  Which is okay by me, since I didn't want to know her ugly ass in the second place.
Now...and this is very important...very important:  you too can get birth control coverage from the ACA for the bargain basement price of $1350/month with a $13,500 anal deductible and co-pays of $250 for one-half a visit, by signing up now on a webslight that doesn't work for a hellthscare program that won't, either. 
Hey, you elected the dumb sh**, not us.  Dirka dirka.
My actual purpose for writing you this email was to inform you that islam is the wave of the future, unless you're not stupid, and then it won't be, and that will piss off all of our people here who are counting on meeting 72 virgins in the afterexplosion, and not 72 Virginians who are by all accounts pissed off that McAwful stole the election by giving Sandra Fluke enough birth control to stop up a herd of elephant rectums.
Actually after seeing a picture of her, I thought Fluke was birth control AND abstinence, all rolled into one.  If ever a burkah was needed....double dirka dirka!
So where was I...oh yeah, Egypt, land of watching the Bangles walk like Miley Cyrus.  Is it really true that in your country OSHA will require your former Secretary of State to wear a back up alarm for her wide load?  More recently we ask your current Secretary of State why the long face?  He didn't laugh, but we did.
So in conclusion, I am contacting you to stop thinking all of us here say "Dirka dirka, islamojihad!"  What we're actually saying is how much more ugly can you make Kathleen Sebelius before she becomes looking like Ed Schultz, which is ugly enough to stampede a herd of camel spiders.  Let me know if  you are willing to do this by sending to me a contact email for Debbie Wasserman-Schlitz, who is by all accounts my crazy aunt Moochelle Ackbar Achmed Ackphooey Dirka Dirka Nobama, and a former sperm carrier for sacred goats from the tomb of King Tut.   Once you confirm this on the ACA webblight under the surname of Joe Bidumb, including your primate's  telephone number, I will call him and annoy him with endless "booga booga dirka dirka"s until he shuts down the exchange by shoving a few hundred bunches of bananas up Jay Carney's ass.
I'm sure he'll blame that on Bush too.
Please you should not in anyway tell anybody about this or give out this mail or my telephone number, except to Janet Napolitano, who is my half-sister..the other half is a broken down donkey named Butt Polyp.  Never liked either one of them.  
After all is said and done here, I am planning to leave Egypt and settle in Deadtroit.  It reminds me of Lebanon in '82.  I love a desolate landscape.
Waiting for your call.
Telephone +201152-6584-09

No doubt the translation department of the scammer's handlers is struggling a bit with this edit.  Probably no moreso than the DNC is, let alone the IT offices trying to figure out how to make the ACA site work any better than the garbage it pushes as affordable.
Dirka dirka.

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Blogger Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. That's also the longest name I've ever see too.

Have a terrific day. My best to Seymour wherever he is. ☺

22 November, 2013 08:35  
Blogger Right Truth said...

Jay Leno actually called Obama a "liar", and a "scammer". It was beautiful!

Right Truth

22 November, 2013 11:50  

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