Bonco UnInc vs Email List Scammer

Ya never know the direction an email scambait can take.  Which is part of the fun.

Emmanuel Benson -- the name he gives, anyway -- emails to gawd knows how many folks a simple scam, offering to sell email addresses.

Here's his ploy:


FOR SALE, HIGH QUALITY, HIGH SELLING MAILING LISTS!

GOOD PRICE, PAYMENT ALL WAYS.

 

 

I didn't find it THAT interesting, so here was my reply:

 

 

Oh boy!  Mailing lists!  What perfectly LAME-O F**KING USELESS PIECES OF SH*T!!!!

 

 

THAT didn't get a response.  But, in keeping with my normal SOP, I included Emmanuel in a few email scam rewrites as a recipient.  This one in particular, an online loan ploy, totally unrelated to his scam:

 

 

Hello,
Are you a manatee or a wombat looking for a loan? Ha...hahaha...

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Since when do

f**king mammals and marsuipals apply for and get loans?

 

Are you f**king animals sniffing crack or something?

 

We are a SERIOUS F**KING LOAN FIRM you stupid

plants, animals, whatever the f**k...we deal in loans to

REAL F**KING PEOPLE, NOT KOALAS OR PIRANHAS!

F**K...WHERE THE F**K DID YOU THINK THAT WE

OF THE LANCED BOILS LOAN FIRM WOULD LOAN

MONEY TO ANYTHING OTHER THAN HUMANOIDS???

 

NOW, IF YOU F**KING MORPH INTO HUMAN MAMMALS,

GET AHOLD OF US FOR SOME OF THIS KIND OF SH*T:

* Personal Loan
* Business Loan
* Private loan

And More.....

BUT IF YOU'RE A F**KING ANIMAL, BITE ME AND ALL THOSE

WHO LOOK LIKE ME if you think you're going to get a loan here, you   

STUPID ANIMAL, PLANT, WHATEVER THE F**K YOU ARE!!!

 

AND DON'T TRY ANYTHING TRICKY ON THE APPLICATION;

PAWPRINTS WILL BE A DEAD GIVEAWAY THAT YOU'RE NOT

ELIGIBLE TO FILL THIS SH*T OUT, YOU F**KING ANIMAL!!

 

LOAN APPLICATION

Name(Note:  Names like "Bobo" and "Fluffy" will be tip offs that you're not humanoids, bitches): ___________________________________________
Loan Amount Needed: ___________________________
Last Time You Had Sex With A Orthopod: ___________________________________________
Marital Status: _________________________________
Country: ________________________________________
State: ________________ Age: _________________
Telephone No:________________________________
Loan Duration:__________________________
monthly Income:______________________________
Occupation: ______________________
Purpose of loan: _________________________
Religion (if you say you don't have one we'll f**king KNOW you're not a humanoid): _____________________________________

Regards.
Mr.Lance 

 

 

And THAT got a response from Emmanuel:

mailing lists? 

 

 

Which drew this response from me:

 

 

Mailing lists?  

 

 

And from there, the back and forth begins:

 

 

yes, amount of email addresses for you to email customers 

 

 

Okay...how does this work? 

 

 

you pay me, then i will send you email addresses of  customers 

 

 

Oooooh.  What do I pay you and how many customer email addresses will I get? 

 

 

500k Addresses-25GBP

1,000,000 Addresses- 35GBP

2,000,000 Addresses- 45GBP

4,000,000 Addresses- 60GBP

ONE TIME OFFER 10MILLION ADDRESSES FOR 15GBP 

Payable via UKASH, Money Gram, PayPal or credit card.

Thank you

Emmanuel 

 

 

Wait a sec...4 million addresses will cost me 60 GBP, while 10 million will only cost me 15 GBP? 

My math is not computing that.  

 

 

Because the 10 million for 15gbp is a one time offer, it only lasts for a few weeks then the price will go up again 

 

 

How can you make money by giving away six million extra addresses for less than the cost of 500k?  This is extraordinary  

 

 

Becuae it is a special offer, that price will not be happening in one week.

Do you understand me? 

 

 

The whyfor of the deal, no.  But that it'll run out in a week's time, yes.

I'll get back to you on my needs in the next day or so. 

 

 

So what to do, what to do....and then I decide what to do:

 

 

OK thanks 

 

 

Can I get 15 million email addresses at a special discount?  I have marvelous and potentially lucrative marketing plans for this.  Pls let me know soonest.  

 

 

 Yes, You can.  I will sell for 10 GBP

How would you pay?  

 

 

What is 10 GBP in US Dollars? 

 

 

17USD i think, if you pay now, you will need to wait until 1st November however

 

 

November 1st?  Why?  Is there a Halloween special mixed in, like an email booo-gain? 

 

We had a problem with our Hard Drive, and all the files are compressed in Binary, we will not have all of our files back to normal until November 1st. 

 

 

I would like to know that if I send you the money for 15 million email addresses tomorrow, I can have the addresses by no later than Monday, October 14.  This is crucial to my marketing scheme.  It stands to make me $750,000 before year end.  

 

 

750,000?  Really? 

 

 

Yes, $750,000.  Could potentially be more.  Depends on how the roll out of the new company's IPO goes, but it has unique products and I am very confident based on my contacts and references.  So...the more email addresses the better.  If you're interested, I'll see what I can do.  

 

 

*Jeopardy Theme whilst we wait for Emmanuel to ponder*

 

 

 than you my friend.  if you pay via paypal, i will give you 20 million email addresses.  


20 million???  YOWZA!!!  With that number, my marketing plan is sure to score BIG!  I have the company and the product line all set and ready to go...By January 1, I can realize easily $750,000, especially since the holiday shopping season is ahead!  What do I owe you for the 20 million email addresses?  


 20GBP, via PayPal  


Now it's time to bring my bogus company into the act:


Okay.  Which product from the pending product line would you be interested in?  The company has a sports beverage in disposal containment pack, a car guidance system, and flying pest control device, a dietary supplement to prevent unpleasant culinary sideaffects, a musical collection CD, a universal translator device, a space-time device, and a harvester that uses Nature to decrease time needed for harvesting crops.  Which would you like to reap the benefits from?  


 But Emmanuel ignores my effort for now:


I will send you mails, if you pay. After this we can do a deal.  


But dude...this deal has a closing window, and depending on your size, it's closing fast!  


You pay me for the emails and then we talks.  I cannot finds this corporate listed. 


Bonco UnInc?  Hell, it's INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN!  Whaddaya mean you can't find it listed? 


are you do a deal for email addresses or not?  Send money to my paypal and then we talk. 


I persist; he persists.  Finally I relent and ask him to refresh my memory on where to send the money.  After sending me one email address to use for his paypal account, he follows it immediately with another:

**The last message was a mistake, please use this one**

emailsalelists@gmail.com  is my PayPal please pay the sum OF 15GBP or 25 USD.  


Okay, got it.  I'll email you with confirmation that it's sent, and then you can tell me which Bonco product you want to sign on with.  


After three days pass, Emmanuel gets antsy:


Sir Will you be purchasing our product?  


Of course.  I am busy with start ups and roll outs of the Bonco product lines.  I will email you the instant I have made the payment.  


Now it's time to see how long I can play the "oh whoops" game with him.  A couple more days, and I finally send him this:


The fee for the emails has been paid to your playpen account.  When can I expect my emails?  


What pay?  I go there and find no money from you?  


Really?  I sent it as you directed. 


You send it to email address I give you?  *and he repeats the address above*


Yes, I sent it to emailfaillists@gmail.com, just like you said.  


that not address I send you!  I send you emailsalelists@gmail.com! 


Son of a broom rider....so you did.  Lemme see if I can get my payment back from where I sent it.  


A day passes and...


What is going on?  I must hear from you soonest.  


Okay...playmate was able to retrieve my funds from the wrong email address, so now they're sent to the right email address.

 

 

Are you jesting me or stupid?  No money is in my account.  And what is playmate?  This is serious business.  

 

 

No jest.  I sent it like you said, to emailsnaillists@gmail.com.  25 USD.  I have the online receipt from platypus to prove it.

 

 

you are jerking me.  that is not address I tell you. 

 

 

Would you KINDLY quit jerking ME, and quit changing the address you want me to use for pigpen? 

 

 

At this point, Emmanuel decides he's not getting his 25 USD:

 

 

F**k you and stop email me.  You are jackass. 

 

 

Not true, Emmanuel...I'm registered unaffiliated.  But your uncompromising words tell me that you'll be missing out on the greatest online marketing campaign since the nobamacare website imploded. 

 

 

Which apparently, Emmanuel doesn't care about.  He doesn't want to be jerked no more.

 

He hadn't better trying logging into the nobama(doesn't)care site then, either....