Monday, October 28, 2013

Sickophant

Here we go again.

A picture of a lady in a hospital in the UK (this time), sending me (and gawd knows how many others) her last wishes regarding a large inheritance fund she says she has.

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

These silly scammers should really invest in a new photograph.  This makes about three dozen of the same photo for three and more dozen different named scammers now.

Meet the latest, in (not) her own words:


Hello dear,

I am Mrs. Aisha Al Mutasim from England, I am a childless widow. I am married to the late Engr. Sahad Hassan of blessed memory who worked with British embassy in Kuwait for twelve years and retired as an oil merchant, before he died in 2006. After the death of my husband, I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home.   I fought against this illness 4 years after his death, fibroid problems and hearing impairment from medic reactions. We were married for eight years without children. He died after a short illness. Recently, my medic attendant told me that I would not last long in the next 3 week because of my illness.  This is me in picture I send you.

I have a deposit of $10.6M Usd in a financial institution which was realized after a contract with an oil firm in Middle-east.I want to invest this fund into charity organization; In short I want to use it to improve humanity. I am taking this decision because I do not have a child who will inherit this money and I can not believe my relatives, because they were hostile to me, since I have been suffering from this illness.   As soon as I receive your reply I shall inform my lawyer to help you for the release of the fund to you. I want you to exclusively use this fund to
help the less privileged and build orphanage homes and to support inteelects in your country.

The grace of God encouraged me to take this bold step. Please also assured me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.
  God bless you.
Mrs. Aisha Al Mutasim  



I thought of digging up the woeful tune from Young Frankenstein as I read and re-read this, but found that Napolean XIV's They're Coming To Take Me Away Ah-haaaaaaaaaaa was far more appropriate.

Thus, I responded as I am wont to do with such emails -- 'cuz as all of you who read this blog know, I have the compassion of a conservative, according to low information leftists who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground -- with an edit fitting of the original email:


Hello,

This week, I am Mrs. Aisha Al Mutasim from England, I am a childish black widow.
I am married to the late Engr. Sahad Hassan of dubious memory who worked cleaning dunnys in the UK embassy in Kuwait for twelve years and retired covered with irremovable odors even the camels couldn't go.  After the death of my husband -- I ate him after sex...y'know us black widows --  I decided not to re-marry unless I found the perfect goat.  Then I got ill from having etted him, developing testicular problems  which I shouldn't not have oughta had, along with herring impairment and thrombosis
hairballs in my uterine canal, not to mention -- so why am I -- having grown an abridged penile growth on my tongue.  Medic reactions here were pretty unusual.  I take it they would have thought nothing of it in California. 
 
Before I et my hubs, we were married for eight years without children. In fact, we only  had sex once...he inspected and I consumed.  Anyway, my meth-addicted medic attendant told me that I would not be able to spin any more webs of intrigue, as my vaginal thread spinner had sprung and dun run out of spinnage.
 
I thinks it also has to do with everyone here finding out about my hub's culinary end.  At this point I am instructed to write that I have a deposit of $10.6M Usd in a financial institution which was realized after a contract with an oil firm in Middle-east.  Funny, since I don't has a plug nipple to rub on my breasts before betting it on something.
 
Anyways, I wants to incest this mystical sum into charity organization; In short I want you to believes this sh*t so you think you can use it to improve humanity.
 
I crack myself ups sometime.
 
I am taking this decision because I do not have anythings better to do since our satellite TV was ripped off by a roving pack of gorillas, and I can't get Orpah on my Phony Watchman.  Perhaps I can make enough from you to fix my satellite in time for Jerry Springer.
 
As soon as I receive your reply I shall inform my lawyer to help fuck you over for my benefits. I want you to think you'll get to exclusively use this fund to help the less privileged and build orphanage homes and to support inteelects in your country.  Maybes you can send me a smellchecker for
my conpooter, two.

 The grace of God has nothing to do with this, since I pray to a preserved rhino's
ass on special occasions.  Please also assured me that you will act accordingly as the rhino's ass telled me to has stated herein.
 
Receive thus the blesseds of my dietized rhino's ass.  
 
 
I didn't hear back from the 'dying widow' -- perhaps she 'died', or took the time to actually read what I dun to her email -- but one of my former scammers whom I continue to dump edits on, had something to say:
 
 
when u stop this sh*t in my email box?  
 
 
A question...I love to answer a question:
 
 
When I stop getting this sh*t to put in your full of sh*t email box.  Until then, make the most of it.  Mix them, match them, collect the whole set.  Be the first of your friends to have the entire collection that shows what a buttmunch you've been. 
 
 
He'll go back to pouting, and I'll go back to packing his email box thus  ;-)  Oh yes...I have over a dozen unanswered emails pending...

 

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2 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Anything for a buck. Anything.

Have a terrific day. My best to Seymour. ☺

28 October, 2013 08:03  
Blogger Right Truth said...

When they start out with "Hello Dear", you know something is amiss

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

29 October, 2013 15:09  

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