The FBI Gets Madder -- II

Since the Benin-based 'FBI' "are been watched" me, you'd think my baiting reply to their email (last post) would have triggered a reaction...*nyuk*.

It didn't...so I tried the 'editing for fun and annoyance' route (previously referred to as my version of 'bait and switch').

Here's what went back to the Benin-based 'FBI', after the 'bait':

Anti-Uncle and Flying Monkey Crimes Division

Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C.

Federal Burro Of Investigation

J. Edgar Hoover Feather Boas Building

935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

Attention, this is the final warning you are going to receive from me do you get me? I hope youre understand how many times this message has been sent to you?  My name is Barry Hussein Soetero, and I and my sex pard Eric 'Here You Holder' approves this messages.

We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our e-mails or because you believe we have not been instructed to get you arrested, and today if you fail to respond back to us with the payment then, we would first send a letter to the mayor of the city where you reside and direct them to send our flying monkeys over your place of residence and have them sh*t all over your property...THEN you will be  jailed and all your properties will be confiscated by the fbi, since then with it all shat over, it'll be like home for us. We would also send a letter to the company/agency that you are working for so that they could get you fired until we are through with our investigations because a suspect is not suppose to be working for the government or any primate organization.

 

See what happens when you piss us off?  Our flying monkeys are already in a holding pattern near you.

Your id which we have in our database been sent to all the crimes agencies in America for them to insert you in their website as an internet fraudsters and to warn people from having any deals with you.  Plus they're tell everyone on Entertainment Tonight that you queef and your mama dresses you funny.

 

This would have been solved all this while if you had gotten the feather boa enema that the late J. Edgar Hoover sent you via UPS via Science Fiction Theatre 3000.  This is the federal bureau of investigation (fbi) am writing in response to the e-mail you sent to us and am using this medium to inform you that there is no more time left to waste because you have been given from the 32nd of This Month to make with following our instructions.

 

Meantime, we're going to jackslap that low information wanker who gave us this f**ked up calendar we just used.  Does September have 32 days?

 

As stated, you must adhere to this directives to avoid you blaming yourself at last when we must have arrested and jailed you for life and all your properties confiscated.

 

And we spank the monkey.  No, not the flying ones.

Your previous failures to comply with our directives have cause us to get really, REALLY pissed off.  Our director has already been notified about you get the process completed yesterday and right now the warrant of arrest has been signed against you and it will be carried out in the next 48 hours as strictly signed by the fbi director.  Meantime, he is looking for new secretary and/or a new spellcheck program because this one sucks donkey balls. 

 

We have made up a fake investigation and found out that you knew when the fraudulent deal was committed with your information's/identity and right now if you id is placed on our website as a wanted person, i believe you know that it will be a shame to you and your entire family tree because after then it will be announce in all the local channels that you are wanted by the fbi for having guinea pigs loose in your knickers.

You need to do everything possible within today and tomorrow to get $98 USD send to us because we are the fbi and we say so, okay?  Efram Zimbalist Jr give testimonial on Aljazeera just the other day, endorsing this process, along with unicorn dildos.  So, you are to send us $98 USD immediate using this informations bellow:

 

NAME: Charles Osita

ADDRESS: Benin Republic

City: Porto-Fino

TEXT QUESTION: DOUCHE

ANSWER: NOZZLE

AMOUNT: $98

Senders name======

 

You best git it done because our director has called to inform me that the warrant of arrest has been signed against you and once it has been approved, then the arrest will be carried out, and from our investigations we learnt that you were the person that forwarded your identity to one impostor/fraudsters in Benin Republic when he had a deal with you about the transfer of some illegal platypus vaginas that were earmarked to go to Kim Jong Un of North Korea, since he such a fat 'n ugly pudge that no regular female want have sex with him.

Note/ all the crimes agencies have been contacted on this regards and we shall trace and arrest you if you disregard this instructions. You are given a grace today and a benediction tomorrow to make the payment for the document after which your failure to do that will attract a maximum arrest and finally you will be appearing in court for act of spanking monkeys with intent to cause whatever happens when monkeys get spanked, so be warned not to try any thing funny because you are been watched when you are spanking monkeys.

Bet yo' ass, dawg.

 

Director: James Comey On Ovah 'n Spank My Monkey

WASHINGTON DC

Anti-Uncle and Flying Monkey Crimes Division

Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C.

Federal Burro Of Investigation

J. Edgar Hoover Feather Boa Building

935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001   

 

 

As noted in the last post, the "are been watching" cat ain't shooted me yet.  Or replied. 

 

 

My pet rock, Seymour, still has taken the precaution of sunning his self under a Kevlar umbrella...