Even Scammers Laugh

Apparently scammers have little more regard for the worst potus in history than so many of us do.

So little so, they (again) used him in one of their scams.

Yet another dubious 'honor' to a potus with none.

But I digress.

Here's what the scammer thought would sell the most recent scam I received via a friend and fellow blogger:

Attention Beneficiary,


SCAMMED VICTIMS / 10,000 BENEFICIARIES REF/PAYMENTS CODE: ECB/07654 $20,000 USD.

We are delegates from the PRESIDENT OBAMA FOUNDATION and UNITED NATIONS in Central Bank to pay 100,000 scam victims $20,000 USD (Twenty  Thousand U.S Dollars) each,On behalf of the Obama's Foundation and UNITED NATIONS, we wish to notify you as a beneficiary of  $20,000 USD in compensation of scam victims. Your Email was listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid this amount. According to the number of applicants at hand, 114 Beneficiaries has been paid, over a half of the victims are from the United States, we still have a  pending of 87,136 compensations left to be paid. Your particulars was mentioned by one of the Syndicates who was arrested as one of  their victims of the operations, you are hereby warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to him for any reason what so ever as  the U.S. secret service and FBI is already on trace of the other criminals. So keep it secret till they are all apprehended Other victims who have not been contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible consideration.

Please you are to fill the particulars below, So that we can proceed with the processing of your compensation fee.

Name:
Country:
Age:
Occupation:
Sex:

Mr. George Thomas
Email: compensationdispatch@outlook.com
Phone contact: (+1)0535912539

"Obama's Foundation"?  *Snort*...the narcissist was expecting supporters to send him their wedding, anniversary and birthday gifts in the '12 election.  Foundation my ass.

Still...where there's a scam, there's a little editorial fun to be had:

Attention Benadryl Addict,


I'll bet you didn't know that when something is secret, it's goose poop silly to post it in the friggin' EMAIL HEADER!!!

 

 

Which is why we need a new censor for our secret emails.  We just fed ours to a gang of testosteronal platypus who were just told that they are actually grizzly gerbils.

 

 

But that's not why we're writing.

 

 

 We're writing about PAYMENTS CODE: see text below*

We are delegates from an ad hoc foundation for the worst potus in history, plus we sponge off the UNITED NATIONS because it beats working for a living.  But that's not why we're writing.

 

 

In a sort-of abandoned bank in Central Park, NYC, there is a vault.  It hasn't been opened since Bugsey Malone had a sex change operation and changed his name to Millar Time McGee...only to fly into a Fed-run bug zapper of sizeable caliber, but we kind of digress.  Anyway, there's this vault, see, and inside of it is...well, we can't tell you what's in there.  BUT...if you write back to us and give us the PAYMENT CODE:  see text below* -- and it must be the exactly RIGHT code -- you get some of the stuff therein.

 

 

No shi..er...kidding.  We of the UN and a foundation for the worst potus in history wouldn't jack you off..er...around on that.  Really.  Really Really.

 

 

Shrek stole that line from us.  Pea-green asswagon.

 

 

Anyway...which should not be confused with a henweigh...we wish to notify you that as a recipient of the PAYMENT CODE:  see text below*, you are not only entitled to a portion of the aforementioned vault contents...but if you mishandle this email, you'll get genital warts on your ear lobes, because we are covered in them.  How that came to be is a family secret that's been kept until it was published in Reader's Digest under Word Power for $200, Alex.  So never mind.  And that's not why we're writing, anyway.  Or henweigh.

 

 

What's a henweigh?  Eh..a few pounds.  *ducking boos and throwd hen's teeth*

 

 

Your Email was listed and approved for this peculiar email because since our censor was thrown into a pit full of seals of approval -- and we dressed him up like a fish just for the halibut -- we need you to sort through our emails and make them sound plausibly deniable in a court of tennis, because -- and I know you'd never guess this -- our English blows goats.

 

 

The goats don't mind, but that's not why we're writing.  Crapapoloosa, I am not sure WHY we're writing now.

 

 

So I guess I'll get to the sock spanking:  the U.S. secret service and FBI are chasing a flying monkey named Booga Unga Bunga in the greater Detroit area, and during the peculiar pursuit, they were danged if they didn't find a library.  Since no one can read there, it's door is ajar, and no one knows how to twist it open OR closed.  And any hoot owl, no one wants any part of a door and a security system cyberarguing.

 

 

But that's not why we're writing.  See the last time I said that for enemacation.  If that's a word, I'm improving.

 

Please you are to fill the peculiars below, So that we can proceed with whatever it was that this email was supposed to have been about, before our censor went the way of unapproving seals, and got his minkey spanked.  

Name (if not yours, someone you can't stand will do):
Country:
Age:
Occupation:
Last Time You Had Sex With A Pelican Balloon:

Mr. George Thomas

A By Now Very Confused Emailer
Email: compensationdispatch@outlook.com
Phone contact: (+1)0535912539

 

*  now that you've seen the text, see what we just did there?  Neither do we.

 

 

A short reply from the scammer of note suggests that yes, even the scammers are laughing at him:

 

 

ha 

 

 

Yes...that's what we say, too.

 

 

Probably the first/last time a scammer and I will agree on anything...  ;-)