Saturday, April 20, 2013

Scambait Gibberish - I

One objective of editing scammer emails, when the scammers sees what I dun and to whom it went  ;-)

For the next two scams I edited, I went with a mix of rambling gibberish and -- Seymour my pet rock liked this -- allowing Seymour some more of his lyrical prowess (or so he imagines it), as Seymour unknowingly channeled Donovan from 1968.

"Did NOT!!!"

Yeah you did, Seymour.

But let the readers be the judge, as they see what was done to another Burkina Faso/Bank of Africa "millions in deceased account" scam:


Subject: I HOPE CAN WORK GOOD!!!

 
With All Due Respect...a one anna two anna three...
 
 
Thrown like a sheep into my sleep
I am the fence and made to take a peep
To find cowboys lined up by the sea
and humping with tranquillity.
'Twas then when the Hurdy Gurdy Scam
Came 'mailing words of crap,
Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Scam
Came 'mailing words....of scam.
Western Union, Western Union, Western Union us a fee.
Western Union, Western Union, Western Union us a fee.

Histories of scammers past
Unenlightened mugus cast
Down through all eternity
The bitching of humanity.
'Tis then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man
Comes kicking in your 'nads,
Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man
Comes kicking in....your 'nads.
Western Union, Money Gram, or whatever gets us paid.
Cash and credit, Western Union, Money Grams all good.
Western Union, Money Gram, or whatever gets us paid.

Mugus Mugus, Mugus Mugus, Mugus Mugus we want you,
Here comes the roly poly scam it's seeking out mu-gus,
Roly poly, roly poly, roly poly, poly f**king scam.

 
Yes, I am trying out for Americans, I Dull!, and I am sure that singing this revised song
will get me much applaudits and stuffs throwd at me!
 
 
Seymour PetRock is gived my thanks for the lyrics.
 
 
But that's for later.
 
 
My adopted name is MRS AWA SULE; I was actually born
Billy Bob Thornton, but abandoned Hollyweird for the life of
a Third World goat-inseminating sufferagette of dubious genitals
and flatulence.  I need your urgent assistance in
transferring the total sum of 762 artificially inseminated goats 
immediately to your country, as long as you do not live next to    
Wyoming, where I am gived to understood that sheep do not
like cowboys bearing velcro gloves after a Saturday night at the
bar.
 
 
Meanwhile, it was very fortunate for me to come across the
idea for this email when I was arranging the old and abandoned
outhouse pit contents by state of decay.  A jobs I not recommends
unless you let me have yours.
 
 
Granted, goat herd exchanges of this size is not authorized by the rules
guiding our totally f**ked up country of Burkina Faso, so we needs to
do this under cover of my getting my chance on Americans, I Dull! 
 
 
That’s the reason I contacts you as a foreigner to apply for me to get
on that show and sing the song lyrics that Seymour PetRock sez will make
me infamous (he say that better than famous).  And I assure you that this
transaction, after this edit, is 100% risks free.
 
 
If you are a gullible asshat and douche nozzle, contact me and accept not to
change your mind to do what I'd do in your place:  cheat, or disappoint me.
 
 
Send to me your personals;
FullName:..............................................................
Address:.................................................................
Occupation.............................................................
Age.........................................................................
Last Time You Had Sex With A Mini-Cooper Exhaust Pipe.................................................
Telephone Number:...............................................
Country:................................................................
 
 
Please contact me back soonest or immediately, whichever is fastest or quicker.
 
I am waiting for your urgent response!!!
Thanks and remain a dumbass,
MRS AWA SULE
mrs.awa.sule11@gmail.com
Neither Mrs Sule, her peers and colleagues, nor even Donovan have so far bothered to respond.  Seymour will be disppointed.
 
"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!"
 
Or not....

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3 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Seymour did very well with those lyrics. He does well at everything though. I wonder if you'll hear from anyone, or they still trying to figure this out.

Have a fabulous day. Seymour sends his best. :)

20 April, 2013 10:05  
Blogger Seane-Anna said...

Love the graphix!

22 April, 2013 10:45  
Blogger Right Truth said...

When something starts out with...

"With all due respect ...."

I'm always interested to see what is said next, because generally there isn't really much respect there, ha.

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

22 April, 2013 21:21  

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