Mystery Shopper Miasma - I

Customers are the lifeblood of business. So it reasons that customer service is a measure of the health of a business. Many a business out there likes a report card on how their customer service is doing, beyond basing it solely on comments sent, faxed, emailed, texted, or left on voice mail at 3am by someone who's drunk and thinks they called their ex, judging from the message content.

And entrepreneurs are all over this one, creating companies that provide businesses with secret/mystery shoppers, who rate the company's customer service without the employees knowing it.

Entrepreneurial scammers haven't missed out on the opportunities, either.

When I posted about an online offer I'd received to become a 'mystery shopper', a friend on Facebook took me to task for making fun of 'mystery shoppers', because she was one and had been for four years. And that's fine for her.

But I reckon it isn't for the company that contacted me.

This is my third 'secret/mystery shopper' offer in my 10 years of scambaiting. The first two I had never heard of, but quickly confirmed as I played 'em, that they were 100% bona fide

scammers. My newest one, however, has a track record.

Of customer complaints and BBB *holding nose* ratings.

So, before I get to the 'fun', here's the online gambit by an outfit that flies under the name of an alleged mystery shopper operation out of Seattle:

Email title: WELCOME TO MYSTERY SHOPPER!!!

We have randomly selected you a mystery shopper. Our company conducts surveys and evaluates other companies in order to help them achieve their performance goals. We offer an integrated suite of business solutions that enables corporations to achieve tangible results in the marketplace. We get hired by other companies and act like customers to find out how they are handling their services in relation to their customers.

Mystery shopping is the most accurate and reliable tool a business can use to gather information regarding their actual customer service performance at the moment of truth. This moment of truth is not when the staff is on their best behaviour because the boss is around -- it is when they interact with customers during their normal daily routines.

This is where YOU come in as the Mystery Shopper. You pose an an ordinary customer and provide feedback of both factual observations and your own opinions. Mystery Shoppers must remain anonymous. You must act as a regular customer and be careful not to do anything that would reveal you as a shopper. If anyone notices you are a Mystery Shopper, you can bet that word will quickly spread around the establishment and you will get some of the best customer service in town, and not what regular customers might experience.

No company can afford to have a gap between the promise of quality and its actual delivery, that's why leading corporations look to us, the nation's premiere mystery shopping and customer experience measurement company.

In order for businesses to compete effectively today, they must be prepared to meet the challenge of increasing sales by:

* retaining existing customers

* acquiring new customers

* creating word-of-mouth advocacy

* improving customer loyalty

Once we have a contract to do so, you would be directed to the company or outlet, and you would be given funds you need to do the job (purchase merchandise or obtain services), after which you would write down a detailed report of your experience. You would include

* how long it takes to get served

* politeness of the attendant

* customer service professionalism

* sometimes you might be required to upset the attendant, to see how they deal with difficult clients.

Then we turn the information over to the company and they will carry out their own duties in improving their services.

After a bit more fluff and puff, the email gets to the rat killing:

You will be paid a commission of $100 for every duty you carry out, and bonuse on your transportation allowance. Your task will be to evaluate and comment on customer service in a wide variety of restaurants, retail stores, casinos, shopping malls, banks and hotels in your area.

The email concludes with a typical list of 'mystery shopper requirements', and an email to respond to, if interested. And I was interested (to see the MO on how the scammer planned to take me to the cleaners). So I responded, as the character Jack N. Ewehoff. More on that in a mo'.

While awaiting a response, I did some online research on the outfit that it was representing itself to be. I found a treasure trove...of customer complaints and BBB *holding nose* ratings on this company, dating back to early 2009. Besides complaints of once a 'mystery shopper' had done a job, they never got paid and couldn't get an adequate response from the company, or got a run-around. Fancy that: the mystery shopper company providing shoddy service to their employees.

I also liked that their given corporate HQ address was in Seattle, WA. No problem there, except that the street address that they listed as THEIR HQ, is in fact a hotel. A hotel that, when I called it, explained that said company was not there, and if it ever had been there, it would have had to have been back in the late 1960s.

The clerk that did so was very polite and professional, so I made note of it, in case I needed that for a 'mystery shop' ;-)

I also liked that one of the company's several HQ contact numbers they listed was a 615 area code. Which is fine, if you want to talk to Nashville, TN. The other numbers had the requisite area code of 206, which is the Seattle area. I dunno...maybe Reba McIntyre is a Mystery Shopper. Perhaps I'll look into that later.

Finally, BBB investigations listed complaints that included such loverly things every one who puts money up WANTS to be a part of, I am sure: like 'ponzi scheme' and 'issuing bad checks'. The complaints were largely from persons 'employed' by this particular outfit, against this particular outfit.

One researcher dug deeper into IP addresses and domain names, and determined that the scammer was originating out of the Russian Republic. Dasvadanya, suckerski.

At any rate, my character sent an "I'm interested" email response, and filled out their little 'application' that was attached to the email.

And my *TOING* meter went off the scale, because I got an email response -- and hired -- in 8 minutes.

And that's where the 'fun' began, in Part II (and the conclusion), when I learned who and how I was to 'mystery shop'.