Ago'n Nowhere Fast

 

Epic indeed.

A short time ago in a galaxy too freakin' near for our own good, came an unsolicited email from an  ironically-named person Dr. Ken Ago:

You must make sure you stop communications with those fraudsters to
enable us succeed in this mission. So be warned seal up your lips if
you would actually want to receive your fund,because receiving of your
fund will only cost you the sum of $300 only.

I am telling you this because i know everything about your fund which
i am not suppose to tell you but i have to because you have so much
put your effort to them by sending money to them without receiving any
of your fund.

So now if you are ready to receive your fund do let me know so that i
can advice you more on how you receive your fund  without any much
delay, But before i give you any more information about how to receive
your fund , You must pay the sum of $300 to me and the contact that i
am going to use.

Thanks
Dr.Ken Ago   

"Dr" Ken turns out to claim to be with the UBA -- United Bank for Africa -- and the rest of his story claims to be around a fund that is belonging to yours truly in the amount of $3.5 million USD that somehow got ensconced in the UBA and thanks to unscrupulous sorts out there, wants to keep it that way.

Hate when that happens.

The following exchange took place as I used the title of his email -- You must make sure you stop communications with those fraudsters -- the basis of all things that followed:

So I should stop communicating with you?

Is that what you're saying?   

I am not forcing you to trust me because I am not after your fund.

Meanwhile I want you to know that I am taking this risk just because of the likeness I have for you even not only you I have so many people that I am helping as well.

So for your information I am not giving out any proof to you or anybody because it’s a very big risk to my job as I cannot afford to loose my job Why because I am not sure if you are ready to receive your funds or not.

For me to be sure that you are ready, Then you need to Send the $300 now then after sending the $300 you can forward to me your account details for the releasing of your fund to take place immediately without any further delay.

Thank you for your understanding.   

I'm not so sure he'll be thanking me for how I'm understanding this, but that's in a bit:

I just need you to clarify and amplify on your original statement.  You said, and I quote, "You must make sure you stop communications with those fraudsters."  Did you truly and intentionally mean that contextually?

Stop dealing wit those internet scammers online because they will keep requesting for money from you without you receiving any cent from them.

So for now I am the only person in charge to release your fund to you if only when you are ready to comply with any of my advice.

View my id passport 

Last time I checked, that doesn't look like an ID passport.  Nor is it labeled as such:

Okay, I've viewed your card.

And you've told me not to deal with those fraudsters.

And you've asked me to send you $300.

Aren't you contradicting yourself here?

And do you see what you just did here?

It becomes clear that he doesn't see what he just did here:

I don't know what you mean.  Are you ready to send me $300 to receive your fund?

Seriously, you don't see what you just did here?  I see what you just did here.  If you have access to a credible proof reader there, you should be able to enlist their help to see what you just did here.  I will be happy to wait whilst you arrange that...*Jeopardy Theme*

Are you ready to proceed?

I am ready to proceed with receiving the proceeds once you successfully proceed to see what you just did there.  Is your proofreader a moron by birth or choice or does he just play one on TV?  When the Jeopardy Theme stops playing, time's up:  you must by then see what you did there.

Are you serious at all? Please if you are not ready to comply with me please let me know?    

I'm as serious as painful rectal itch is to a porcupine.  Can you see what I just did there?  If you can, then it's clear you should be able to see what you just did earlier.  I'll wait for you to process.

Please you must know that time is not on our side you must send me $300 USD so I can complete your fund transfer.  This is all that stands in way.     

I don't eat whey and damned sure wouldn't when someone was standing in it.  Can't you see what you're doing here and previously?  Don't words mean things there the way they do here?   

You are not serious with me.  Why?  Your a stupid person.      

I've been as serious as your effort to give me the business is. The problem was and remains that you don't see what you've done here.  Until and unless you manage to overcome that obstacle, you will be asking yourself unanswerable questions and talking to yourself to the point that your peers and colleagues will be talking about you behind your back at the water cooler during Happy Hour.  Do you want that?

Your a stupid person.      

You can't see what you've just done more than once and I'm the stupid person?  *BUZZZZZZZZZER*

*FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL*  There are two pet rocks here, laughing at you there.  Do you realize how hard it is to get pet rocks to LAUGH at you?  Well okay...you don't realize it, because you don't see what you've been doing here.  You will continue to fail until you do.  Even Yoda knows.

I don't know if he got around to seeing what he'd done or never would...I just know that not long ago, from a scammer named Ago in a galaxy that'll never be far enough away, the *FAIL* was, indeed, epic.