Skunkfeathers: Togo Lawyer Bombs

And bombed badly.

Allow my character to introduce to you Barrister Chris Ramson, a lawyer from the nation of Togo.

And as Ramson will shortly assert in a butt-hurt email, Togo is a country.

From his email, I took it to be a discontinued comic strip, but I digress.

This one doesn't get far, and you won't be left wondering why for very long:

From: Chris Ramson <chrisramson01@gmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, February 25, 2020 1:04 PM
Subject: Good day dear friend,

Good day dear friend,
I am lawyer Chris Ramson from lome togo, Please i have a massage for you concerning my late deceased client who died and left $13.500.000 usd in his bank,

Here is my primate email address; chrisramso.n1952@hotmail.com for more information,

Thanks
Chris Ramson.

Does that sound convincing or what? I agree...or what. At least that's how my character treated it:

Good day. Just not for you.

There are no lawyers in Lome, Togo. Just scamming muthaf***as that play lawyers in email.

I don't care if you have a massage for me or anyone that looks like me.

Nor do I care that your primate has an email address.

At least this clown can read and somewhat comprehend English:

You are just a fool by saying that no lawyer in togo,Don't you know that togo is a country?

Yes, I know that Togo is a country. A defective Third World sh*thole of a country, rife with scammers like you. No lawyers...just scammers. Like you. You are welcome to try to change my mind. Not capable...but you are welcome to try. *Jeopardy Theme* whilst I await your ominbust briefs.

Bannister Ramson decided that the best way to put my character in his place was to insult his parents:

You most call your father and your mother scammers as you call me

I guess he thinks he told my character. Meh:

You most certainly know nothing of what you write, speak, or manage to think. Especially the latter, since it's obvious that a three-brain-cell critter like yourself is incapable of independent thought.

But it amuses me no end that you would consider my parents to be on your subpar level of ineptitude. To educate your woefully ignorant, ill-educated self, my parents raised five kids that became successful, prosperous and productive adults. Whatever passes for what your parents unsuccessfully raised.....uh...you...is an ineffectual scammer from a Third World sh*thole like Togo.

It's clear that you're not a lawyer. As backward as Togo is, even they can't be that incredibly abysmal. You're not even smart enough to be a bookend. Your unending failures at this practice bring no end of shame to your family name.

However, there is a ray of good news here: you just qualified yourself to be a candidate for US president in the Democrap Party. You fit their MO incredibly well. And you have an advantage, in that you don't have to fake being an Indian. That'll wow your peers at the fly-infested internet cafe in Togo.

He's not quite ready to concede here:

you are most unserous person i contacted a big fool you are. a lot of money you are lost here

Yeah, a lots of money I are lost here alright:

Well, that's the way the Lome, Togo lawyer scams crumble. In your effort to run for president, just remember that all of the complete and total nincompoop roles have already been filled by a fake Indian, a communist, a male version of Hellary (can't recall sh*t), a billionaire munchkin, a bad 'doo and a gay Indianan that thinks he can pander to department store genderless mannequins. You'll need a whole new schtick to differentiate yourself in this crowd. You might try a petrified tree stump.