Cat Help Hisself

I reckon that even the lowest of the scammers I hear from aren't as mentally and physically self-f**ked up as this Bernie supporter is.

Though many of them are trying to sink to this low.

Like "Sgt Johnson Whozeewhatzits Clark Bar", writing to my character from Afghanistan...or so he says:

I am in desperate need for assistance, I have summoned the courage to  let you know about it. My name is Sgt.Johnson Clark. An American,  working with the  Air Force as a Medical officer. and currently
working with NATO forces in the war against militants and ISIS in  Afghanistan.I need your  assistance to help me receive  a package  containing the sum of US$2.500,000.00 million United States Dollars in
a custody. This is not stolen money, and there are no risks involved.   This money was discovered hidden in barrels with piles of weapons and  ammunition in a location near one of the main bases of the militants  during a rescue operation.

So, with the help of a  German contact who enjoys some immunity with
the United Nations, I managed to get the package of the money to a
safe place, totally out of trouble spot to Indonesia. Now I have found
a safe way to get the package of the money delivered to you.

one  passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this
matter with a third party, in case you have reason to reject this
offer, destroy this email because any leak of this information will be
very bad for us.

I have survived two suicide bomb attacks with God's special grace.
This and other reasons that I will let you know later lead me to seek
help, I honestly want this matter to be resolved immediately.

I am waiting urgently so that we can discuss more
Sgt.Johnson Clark  


My 'editing gone wild' pet rock, Seymour -- out on another of his and Element's travels 'round the US of A -- seemed unsympathetic to the sarge as this edit suggests, especially with what illustrations Seymour chose to employ:


From: JOHNSON CLARK <pwilliamssv@gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, February 17, 2020 11:12 AM
Subject: I AM WAITING URGENTLY FOR A DREAM LOVER TO CALL MY OWN

 

 

This is a new camp.  It incorporates all of the latest technologies that

which we have learned in dealing with people like you.  We are, in effect,

putting all of our 'rotten eggs' in one basket.  And we intend to watch

that basket very carefully.  Even Hilts.

 

 I am in desperate need for assistance, I have summoned the courage to
let you know about it. My name is UberColonel Johnson undt Johnson.

an American Antifa working with the  living-at-home, undereducated

leftist nincompoops currently working with DNC farces in the war against

common sense and decency in Portland, OR.

 

I need your list of virgin whatever you got for my muzzie friends before

they get martyr'd prematuring one of their rigged and exploding prayer

rugs. There are no risks involved as long as you're not in Portland.

 So, with the help of a  German contact who enjoys some immunity from

sexually transmitted diseases by using a Hellary Clinton inflatable sex

toy that leaks, squeaks, cackles and occasionally has people that

displease it suicided, I managed to get out of San Crapcisco so I could

join the maggot-infesteds here in Portland.  Not so bright of me, eh? 

 One  passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this
matter with a third party, in case you have reason to reject this
offer, destroy this email because any leak of this information will be
very bad for us if the leaking, squeaking Hellary inflatable learns of

it. 

 I have pissed off the inflatable Hellary twice and so far have survived

two "suicide" attempts as a result.  Doing better than Epstein did so

far with God's special grace and secret formula of sauces.

 

 This and other reasons that I will let you know later lead me to seek
help, I honestly want this matter to be resolved immediately. 

 I am waiting urgently so that we can discuss more

 UberColonel Johnson undt Johnson

I had to message Seymour that his edit went unresponded to by everyone except one empty-headed scammer who had a simple question in response to the edit:


when will you leave me off?  


Soon as I find your "off" switch.


I do believe Seymour would approve.