Even Gawd Can't Hit A One Iron -- Part 2

You absolutely have to love it when a scammer says they 'read and well understood' an edit of their own email...when they clearly didn't read and/or understand it.

Add Missionary position Clara Johnson to that long list.

Here's how her reply to the edit of her original email started:


I read your email and it is well understood and i want you to note that i don't know you and i don't even know who you are or where you come from but the Lord whom i serve is so loving and helpful as he never forget his own people i want you to know that i have been thinking of what to do over this funds for some period of years now simply because i know that the money is of no use to me any longer simply because of the stage at which my cancer has gotten.  


It must be cancer of the comprehension.

She went on for several additional painful paragiraffes, making it clear that she still sees a pending scam victim in yours truly.

The pet rocks -- despite the evidence -- still don't want to take a chance on offending the Great Disposer of Events, so they begged off this one as well.

Jack, being all made up with no where to go, doesn't care:

From: Clara Johnson <cj0040065@gmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, January 22, 2020 9:32 AM
To: assoverteakettle101@hotmail.com
Subject: Dear Me Now My Genital Is Drooping Too

I read your email and it isn't well understood and i want you to note that i don't know you and i don't even know who you are or where you come from but it's clear you have a lowbrow sense of humor and some forms of deity won't be amused by you.  Unfortunately I used the wrong template to get a fatwa on you at this point, so now I'm just sitting here pissing in my diddies on account of you.

 I am a very hallucinogenic person and it was when i was mixing Prozac and cheap wine sometimes ago that a stuffed owl revealed to me i don't know if i should call it a dream, a vision or a hallucination of a recent democrap debate but therein i was told that i should go into the world and rob peters from Pauls.  This seemed to be a calling to replicate Lorena Bobbitt, but that's old news except for in the feminazi wing of the DNC. The vision seems so Jerry Nadler and i was so bothered that i had a day perched over a porcelain gawd, ralphing up everything I'd ingested the previous day.

 

 

Someone in my church then interpret the meaning of my dreams to me telling me that i am having to change my drugs and alcohol mix so as to experience something even more ludicrous, like Lieawatha arguing with Weak End of Bernie over their 1/1024 chance in saying something truthful to anyone.  I realized then, at that moment, that my chance to get a guest role on Friends had passed me by.

 I searched myself very well and i get to remember when I found the tuna fish sandwich in my robe pocket that'd been there for three weeks...and I thought it was my genital emitting that stench.  Ewwwwwww.  No wonder half the animals in the Serengeti were running away from me, and that's no where near where I think I sorta am.

 I had another dream which made me realise that i must not be in possession of any faculties that have turned universities into eunuchversities.  I am already stupid enough without their help.  So i decided to search with the name related to a woman who took very good care of me when i was dump by my runway parents in the back of a Greyhound 747 rolling down Highway 41 before it hit the Tallahatchie Bridge, giving someone a hit song. i was brought up in a wagon of a traveling show, my keepers doin' dancing for the monkeys they'd blow...Grandpa'd do whoever he could...preach a little gospel, smell a couple bottles of camel piss.  I thought I'd Cher that for no good reason.

After extensive therapy, i told my nurse to help me get an internet account after that i decided to search i got about 1065 profiles and i prayed over it and you know what funny?  I found pictures of a shark mated with a horse.  I thought it funny that the Lord has chosen to distribute pictures like this to school kids in Newark that can't add but certainly know that the world will end in 12 years according to aoc and a stuffed goat's butt oracle she mates with.

 It is a ways and means, not a curds and whey, that you are sought to be committed for acts of moooing at cows from passing cars in Ohio.  So don't return to Ohio.  This will make you move closer to places not Ohio as well and i am very sure that there must certainly have a reason why not to move to Ohio to moooo at cows from passing cars.  I mean, if you want to you can do this on my behalf;  please be strong and have faith in things that only beer commercials teach you and make me realise that I probably should have contacted the guy that feared Guam would tip over, instead of you.

 Hope i read from you soonest; I can't wait to see what you did to my email this time.

If that don't beat all...Amen

Mrs Clara Johnson  

Someone other than Ms Clara must have read that foller up, 'cuz no more did Clara come to call.