Alexa Has A Gender Crisis At the UN

Amazon's Alexa didn't get the memo.

Nor probably did anyone else on the operational end of Scam Land.

But a few of them are now.

It all starts with this:


 From the office of United Nations Secretary General.
                Address: 760 United Nations Plaza New York, NY 10017 USA

Attention Beneficiary.

 Am wishing you a happy prosperous new year!

This is to inform you that i have been wondering why the 10 abandoned
payment files in my office have not receive there compensation fund of
$7 Million Dollars which was approved by United Nation since 2013 till
date.

After my investigation, i found your name and email address attached
to one of the payment files as unclaimed beneficiary which i have
contact the FBI to know if they have any information why you are still
unpaid,  the FBI director confirmed to me today that you have paid
thousands of dollars to the past administration and scammers which
they are trying to assist you to receive your fund.

Please i want you to wipe away your tears now and give me your trust
by deleting all contacts and communications with any office that
claims to hold your fund but be rest assured that you will receive
this $7 million dollars in less than 48 hours once you follow my
guidelines.

I António Guterres the UN Secretary General will personally handle
this Transaction and ensure you receive your fund.

Please reconfirm the below information to me now so that i will start
the process on how you will receive your fund.

Your Name......
Your Address.....
Your Phone Number.......
Your Age......
Your Occupation.......

Awaiting for your response so that i will facilitate the release of
your fund immediately.

Regards
António Guterres
UN Secretary General  


A faked email from a useless international arrganization that fails to impress.  Who'd a thunk it?

My pet rocks and scambaiting character, among others.

My one pet rock, Seymour, has always had a peculiar fear and fascination with artificial intelligence devices like Amazon's Alexa.  He wanted me to get him one for Christmas, but after I convinced him that Alexa would be reporting him to the DNC on a regular basis, he changed his usually -set in stone- mind.

But he didn't forget the exchange when it came to edit-time:


From the orifice of the Eunuched Nations Suckretary Genital
                Address: 760 United Nations Plaza New York, NY 10017 USA

Attention.

This is to inform you that i have been wondering what my gender

designation is supposed to be after seeing my new title.  I never got

the memo about when that changed.  Can anybody tell me?  Asking

for a friend.  None of those morons at the dem debate last night was

able to answer how a fauxIndian can promise everything free without
earning her name Lieawatha.

 After my investigation, i found that the Eunuchversity of Kaliforlornia,

Berkeley crybabies safe zone, has an area cordoned off for gender

confused eunuchs like myself wherein one can seek help to come

up with a new gender pronoun.

 

 

I need to find one, since my Alexa

doesn't understand me when I try to use WTF as my new gender

pronoun.  For that matter, why is Alexa a female?  It's a mechanical

device with AI, no genitals and sometimes resembles a dildo.  Mebbe

Amazon.com can fix that with upcoming models.

Siri has the same problem.  Might it not have been a problem if

someone had fed Wheaties to either?  After seeing what Wheaties

did to Bruce Jenner, never mind.

Please i want you to wipe away your tears now -- you should never

be laughing at me as hard as you are -- and give me your trust
by deleting all contacts and communications with any office,

orifice or AI-bearing device that lacks genitals and answers to the

simplest of questions about how department store mannequins

achieve self-gratification.  I'd like to see one Alexa or Siri that

answers that without an artificial face palm.

I António Guterres the EN Suckretary Genital is emailing you to

answer me these things soonest.  Once you have answered me

in a manure that I can make some degree of use of, i will start
the process on how you will receive succor from a sh*t house

wombat, displaced by Antifa riots in Portland:

Your Name......
Your Address.....
Your Phone Number.......
Your Age......
Your Occupation.......

Awaiting for your response so that i will find further ways, means

and questions to totally f**k with my Alexa device.

Regards
António Guterres
EN Suckretary Genital  

 

The originating scammer saw no point in following up after receiving that edit as a reply. 

 

Amazon.com may have just put my character and pet rocks on a "don't gitta buy Alexa" list, however.