"They some thing wrong with me" Alright

At the conclusion of this scam and edit, I received the following admonition from the scammer:

They some thing wrong with you  


They might be at that.  Thanks for noticing.  


It all started with this email from the scammer:

I’m Robert Paulson, expert in corporate and legal claims; I’m a partner at Robert & Brooks Associates. I am contacting you in regards to a deceased client of mine, Mr Kevin  who died in an auto accident in George, Western Cape, South Africa in March 2013, he was a prominent client of mine and happens to share the same LAST NAME with you.

 

Before his death, my client deposited Forty Five Million Five Hundred United States Dollars at the vault of a financial institution here in South Africa. Documentations regarding this transaction indicate that claims can only be made by his relative/ family members, unfortunately he had no will at the time of his death. All efforts made revealed  no link to any of his family member.

 

However, the New South African Law of succession/claims/fund indicates a duration in which such claims could be tolerated. The financial institution have mandated me to present the next of kin or a relative who will claim the funds and Failure to respond to this ultimatum would legally allow the financial institute to report this funds to the central bank of South Africa as unclaimed funds(Lack of supersede).

 

I have put in place all necessary requirements concerning the release of this funds and It is my intention to introduce this opportunity to you as the beneficiary. Please note that I’m legally equipped with all necessary information/documentations concerning this fund.

Upon your decision of acceptance, I would process the release of these funds to your possession; you would be entitled to 40% of the said funds and 60% for me.

For time difference and confidential reasons, I strongly advise that you firstly contact me via fax or email. Immediately you get in touch with me, I would be able to inform you on how this could be concluded.

 

In conclusion, it’s my concern to demand your ultimate honesty, co-operation and confidentiality to enable us conclude this transaction. I GUARANTEE that this process would be executed under a legitimate arrangement that would legally protect you from any breach of law.                                         

 

Robert  Paulson LLB.

Fax: +27 86 5934251  

 

 

*Yawn*

 

 

It was returned to him, looking slightly different:

 

 

From: Robert Paulson LLB <robert02@abelia.ocn.ne.jp>
Sent: Wednesday, May 15, 2019 5:00 PM
Subject: GREETINGS FROM URANUS OR SOMEONE ELSE'S

 

Dear Gender of Your Choice

 

I’m Robert Paulson, a self-proclaimed expert in corporate and legal gender assumptive claims; I’m a partner at William & Mary & Bog Associates. I am contacting you in regards to a deceased client of mine, a gender-neutral non-binary octosexual orthopod who died in a gender reassignment surgical accident in George, Western Cape, South Africa in March 2019.  Prior to this he was a she and the 32nd proclaimed Queen of Excelsior to the throne of the Irish pub down the street.  Before the surgical procedure gone wrong, she -- soon to be "it" -- planned on sharing the same LAST NAME with you.

Yes, really.

 

Before its death during surgical transition, my client claimed to have deposited 100 cases of Colt Forty Five Malt Liquor at the vault of a financial institution here in South Africa. Documentations regarding this transaction indicate that the cases were labeled as "genital replacement parts" and can only be claimed by members of an obscure tribe in Burundi that worship an empty Coke bottle and are most uncordial to outsiders, as the pilot of our plane discovered on a recent fly-by.

However, the New South African Law of E Pluribus Despotism Ad Hoc Du Horkumstein indicates a duration in which such animosities could be tolerated. The leading institution here have persondated me to present the next of kin or some form of a distant relative or possession that will claim the cases and Failure to respond to this ultimatum would legally allow the institute to confiscate the cases for the purposes of a wild drunken orgy where nothing not nailed down is apt to be sexually violated.

Even statues and fire hydrants.

 

I have put in place all necessary modalitized requirements concerning the fungeral aspects of this funds and It is my intention to introduce this opportunity to you as the cultural miasma it will prove to be. Please note that I’m legally inept, untrained, ill-versed and wholly without scruples, which is why I'm running for president as a democrap in 2020.  Everyone else running is the same as me.

.

Upon your decision of acceptance, I would recommend you for psychological examination.  Billing of such would be 95% you and the rest written off by a toilet baphomet being worshipped in the basement of Friends of Fauxcahontas Warren, the 1/1024 Cigar Store coat rack.  For time difference and confidential reasons, I strongly advise that you firstly contact me via fax or email. Immediately you get in touch with me, I would be able to inform you on how this total clusterf**k could possibly be concluded.

 

In conclusion, I demand your ultimate honesty, co-operation and confidentiality, while withholding all and any of mine. I GUARANTEE that this process would be executed by lethal flatulence at dawn on the day chosen for such execution, after someone finds out what you've been up to.                                         

 

Robert  Paulson LLB. 

 

 

I'm not sure I see the reason for his ending communications.  Perhaps it was his displeasure with the edit.  Certainly it wasn't the photos that detracted from his message?