Seymour Baits The Moon Truthers

I remember it.  I watched it.  And never once did I see James Bond running through the scenes.

July, 1969.  Apollo 11.  Anyone alive then knew.

Well, almost anyone with a working brain.

Like Holocaust deniers and Hellary-lost deniers, there are "moon truthers" that insist the lunar landing never happened.

Even my pet rock, Seymour, face palms when he reads about such morons.

Then Seymour saw a recent article in Yahoo's crapfeed, giving vent to another "moon truther" to deny history.  Granted, that's what the Left does...deny facts, truth, history.

That was enough for Seymour to don his "editing pet rock gone wild" hat once again, and have at it:

On 50th anniversary of Apollo 11 landing, here's why 'moon truthers' are running out of Depends

 
Seymour PetRock – WTFNS

July 19, 2019 

This past Saturday marked the 50th anniversary of when the Apollo 11 first touched down on the moon. But despite facts and incontrovertible proof that the landing itself happened, a few abject nincompoops still insist that it never happened.

This “moon truther” bowel movement has gained nothing substantive in recent years, with one poll of many finding that six-one thousandths percent of Americans believe that the Earth is flat, unicorns crap eatable ice cream, that Cortez broad has three working brain cells instead of only two, and...wait for it...waaaaaaaiiit for it...the moon landing was faked.

Marcuse Alldouche is the Berkeley publisher of an Antifa playbook and conspiracy-based magazine called It Was Hellary's Turn, and is one of six people and a dozen inflatable chia pets who believe the landing was a hoax.

“I do not believe that a cat could have pushed everything off this flat Earth by now,” Alldouche tells WTFNS. “Just watch the movie Diamonds Are Forever...James Bond was running through the simulated moon landing when they were filming it for YouTube.” Alldouche, who watched the entire Bond series of films as a 26 year old kid living in his parent's basement, says his argument boils down to three things: “Bond, broads, Q.”

Alldouche says he doesn’t think the Russians could have helped Donald Trump beat Hellary; “hell, they couldn't even best Moose 'n Squirrel” he quipped. Alldouche did say that when man finally does reach the Moon, they'll find a dead killer whale that the South Park clods sent there thinking that it was where it told them to send it. When asked how it was that the South Park kids could send a killer whale to the Moon but man couldn't do it, Alldouche's eyes glazed over and he spouted “are you assuming my gender? There's a sale at K-Mart!”

While many disgraced and former news organizations attempt to dispel Alldouche and his handful of nincompoop followers, he points out that cnn and ms13nbc can't tell a real moon landing from a staged Cortez photo op at a fenced-in parking lot.

But even Alldouche can understand why cnn continues to think that Hellary won in 2016. “Really bad hallucinogens”.

Seymour won't get his Pulitzer with this one...but he will get accused of having moon rock collusion connections that helped get Trump elected.