Online Marriage Counseling Be Like This

Scammers are always seeking new angles.

For quite a while, it was spell casters that were "repairing lost marriages" among other things.

Now, we gots us just a typical scam counselor with the name of....Dr. Unity.  Bear witness to the unsolicited testimonial sent my character by one of his 'patients':


Hey guys,
I’m so excited my broken Marriage has been restored.
“We recently made up, even though it was difficult. It’s been
more than a month now, and everything feels like it’s returned to
normal. He has begun to treat me better, and it’s been a healing
process for both of us. The nightmare that had lasted for almost
2 years before we broke up is finally over. It’s like we fell in
love all over again! We’ve both put the past behind us, and are
trying to move forward – and for the first time in a long time,
the future looks a lot brighter.
I can’t express in words how grateful I am Dr Unity! It’s like
we’ve finally rediscovered those things about each other that
made us fall in love in the first place. All of the worrying and
stress has simply vanished.
Thank you Dr Unity for saving my broken Marriage and brought my
husband back to me!”.
Me and my husband are living together happily again.. All thanks
to Dr Unity. If you have any love or marriage, health Spiritual
problem contact Dr.Unity now and i guarantee you that he will
help you.
Email him at: unitydrcares330@gmail.com,
but before you email him you can aks me anything you wish to this
is my private number text or whatsapp only please.
‪(916) 572-7518‬
Sarah, 38 years,Sacramento, USA.  

Ain't that precious?

Not.

My pet rock, Seymour, is a bit sentimental about marriages and such, having been married once hisself and then playing the field as a care-free, devil-may-care pet rock.  And he couldn't wait to tear into the email from Dr. Unity's scam:


From: Sarah Wells <info@cares.com>
Sent: Friday, July 5, 2019 3:36 AM
To: sebastianlipshitz09@gmail.com
Subject: Dr. Unity Could Care Less  
Hey gender array, 

I’m so excited...and I just can't hide it...I'm about to bust a nut

and I think I like it.

My broken Marriage has been blowd to smithereens.

“We recently made up sexual fantasies, even though it was difficult.

Especially the one with the inflatable hellary sex toy, the aoc toilet

paper and a yak.  It’s been more than a month now, and everything

has turned to abject sh*t.  He declared himself to be an octosexual

orthopod and is now prostituting for a manatee gang in Florida. 

The nightmare that had lasted for almost 2 years before I realized

that I didn't need a dildo to do an emu is finally over; I shot the

emu. It’s like the biggest turkey dinner ever!  Now he's not a he,

and I'm not a me, and the emu's digested, and sex with Hellary

sex toys, aoc toilet paper and yaks is all the rage in Nigeria. And

neither of us know what bathroom to use.

For the first time in a long time, I'm going to throw up.

I can’t express in words how disgusted I am Dr Unity! It’s like
we’ve finally discovered those unspeakably perverted things

about each other that made us go off the rails, jump the shark,

turn totally whackadoodle and begin living lives of totally useless

people.  F**k you Dr Unity for totally burying my Marriage and

now have me trying to date and have sex with flightless birds!”.

 

All thanks to Dr Unity.

Bastard.

If you have any mental issues, the f**king LAST PLACE ON

THIS OR ANY OTHER PLANET YOU WANT TO GO is to Dr. Unity!

I guarantee you that he will turn your life into a South Park

episode.

Email him if you're totally insane at: unitydrcares330@gmail.com,
Or you can contact his trained primate at  ‪(916) 572-7518‬
Ask for Big Ass Sarah.  

I'm now waiting to see if Dr. Unity will offer to treat my pet rock for half-price.


"Are NOT!!!  PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!"