Scammer Inadvertently Helping An Invasion...Sorta

Before I get to another scam letter, the edit had already been determined by a post on Faceplant.

Apparently, someone or someones came up with the improbability of Australian kangaroos invading and conquering Uruguay.

The notion is all the rage on South American Twitter accounts.

Sounds like a bit of MS13-think has come over Aussie gangeroos.

But first, back to the scammer...a woman claiming to be from Dallas, TX, and her own improbable claims:


My name is Mrs. Rebecca Giddens, I reside here in Dallas Texas. My residential address is as follows; 4826 Eastgate Circle, Dallas, TX 75216, USA. Am thinking of relocating since I am now rich. I have fallen for various Scams in the past and happened to be one of those that took advantage of the Scam Victims Compensation Exercise organised by the Nigerian Scam Victims Reconciliation Commission in 2017 but since then they refused to pay me because I was working with the wrong office. I had paid over $4,000 while in the US, trying to get my payment all to no avail.

Having experienced all that, I decided to travel down to Nigeria with all my compensation documents and was advised to meet Reverend Father Marcus Miller who happens to be a member of the Compensation Award Committee. On contacting him, he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us outside his office is a fake as he is the Public Relations Officer and all such correspondence should come from his office.

He took me to the paying Bank for the claim of my Cheque (Compensation Payout). Right now, I am the happiest woman on earth because I have received $500,000.00 as compensation. Before my departure, Rev. Fr. Marcus Miller showed me a list comprising those that were yet to receive their own payment. He told me he has been trying to reach them but was yet to hear from any of them. I saw your name and email address as that of one of the Beneficiaries, this is why I decided to email you and let you know you must stop dealing with those people. They are not with your Funds; they are only making money out of you.

I will advise you to contact Reverend Father Marcus Miller. You have to contact him directly on the information shown below with your Full Name, Home Address & Phone Number:

BABINGTON MACAULAY RESTITUTION HOUSE
Name: REV. FR. MARCUS MILLER
Email: rev.marcusmiller55555@outlook.com


Those people (SCAMMERS) are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up before you know it, stop now so you don't end up losing all you got.

The only money I paid after I met Rev. Fr. Marcus Miller was $1050 for the paper work, take note of that. Having said that, I will advise you to contact Rev. Fr. Marcus Miller so that he can help you receive your own compensation fund of $500,000.00 just like myself instead of dealing with those liars that will be turning you around and asking you for different kind of fees to complete your transaction.

Thank You and Be Blessed.

Mrs. Rebecca Giddens.4826 Eastgate Circle,
Dallas, TX 75216, United States.
Email: mrsrebeccagiddens020@outlook.com  


Yes, even before I finished reading the fine print, I already knew the direction the edit was going to take:


From: Mrs. Rebecca Giddens, <hr@forcartex.com.tw>
Sent: Thursday, May 2, 2019 9:27 PM
Subject: HELP US STAMP OUT PEOPLE IN URUGUAY WITH AUSSIE ROOS

 

My name is Mrs. Rebecca Giddens, I reside here in Dallas Texas. My residential address is as follows; 4826 Eastgate Circle, Dallas, TX 75216, USA.

I have never enjoyed my life unless I was meddling in the affairs of others.  I fancy that I know more than anyone about anything, and know best for the most, which is why I'm a democrap of dubious antecedence.

But I digress.

I was pondering where I could best insert myself next when I stumbled on a sobering statistic:  Australia has over 47 million kangaroos.  Uruguay has less than 4 million people.

*TOING*  In conjunction with PETA and the ASPCA -- they're not on board yet but will be when I present them my logic -- I am going to finance and encourage a kangaroo invasion of Uruguay!  Hell, it's already a run-amok talking point on Uruguayan Twitter...I deem it my solemn duty to make it HAPPEN!

Outnumbering the Uruguanians 14-1, the Aussie 'Roos will stomp a mud hole in the native population, and in short order.  Even if Uruguay enlists it's cattle to help propel the invasion, that's only about as many cows as there are Uruguanians.  At best, the odds are reduced to 7-1 in favor of the 'Roos.

And let us not forget...these are Aussie 'Roos.  Outback raised.  Outback trained.  Formidable ass-kicking rodents if ever there were.

 

Of course, logistics is the only problem now standing between my dream and Kangaroodom over all of Uruguay...which will become Kangarooguay after our coup d'état.  Getting the invading army to Uruguay from the Outback is the key.  For that I need shipping and airborne transport, and plenty of both, as it will take at least 3/4s of the available 'Roos to give us the necessary odds to ensure the invasion succeeds.

 

And once we have all of Uruguay...there's Paraguay.  The odds are even better there, I think.  Think of it as a two-for-one...

A realm to conquer...an empire to build.  Khan had it right; but for William Shatner and Kirstie Ally, he'd have done it.  We don't face such obstacles.  We will OVERCOME.  We have the numbers.  And we have the leaders.

We lack only for logistics.  That's where YOU come in.

The only money I need from each and every one of you is $1050 for the logistics necessary for this outlandish scheme to succeed beyond my wildest hallucinogenic dreams.  Take note of that. Having said that, I will advise you to contact Rev. Fr. Marcus Miller at rev.marcusmiller55555@outlook.com so that he know how this template has been edited and has time to get over the shock and awe of the edit so he can help me get Aussie 'Roos just spoiling for a fight enroute to Uruguay soonest, if not soonerer!  Make this invasion YOURS!

Mrs. Rebecca Giddens.
4826 Eastgate Circle,
Dallas, TX 75216, United States.
Email: mrsrebeccagiddens020@outlook.com

This edit was probably too much for the rev and his scamstress pal to fathom; if it happens to make the rounds on Uruguay Twitter, it'll probably unleash the beagles..bagels...whatever those things are of war.

 

Against that many 'roos...they'll need them all.